Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofport (floofinition) – 1. Act of carrying a housepet; 2. Mode of one pet carrying another, such as a mother carrying her young; 3. Slang reference to a pet door.
In use: “Floofporting a kitten in her mouth, the momma cat prepared to leave via the floofport, pushing the woman to rush over, pick the two up, and floofport them back into the other room where she’d set a box up for the new feline family.”
Flooflish (floofinition) – English as spoken to housepets.
In use: “Dropping to his knees, the big man shifted into flooflish. “Who’s daddy’s pwetty little boy?” he asked his big dog in a high voice. Wagging his tail, the dog leaped forward and started licking his face. “That’s right, you are,” the man said as the dog licked him. “You are. That’s right, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Good boy, good dog, good lad.”
Coup d’floof (floofinition) – sudden, decisive action by one animal to change the situation among housepets.
In use: “In a brilliant coup d’floof, the dog grabbed the contested bed with his teeth and flipped it over with a mighty jerk, sending the cat out onto the floor.”
Floofosity (floofinition) – curiosity explicit to knowledge about housepets and their health, appearance, habits, and activities.
In use: “He often inquired about others’ pets, showing a native floofosity about the origins of their names, how they came to be in the household, how old they were, and so on.”
Flooftory (floofinition) – a housepet’s overcoming of a nemesis or obstacle; a housepet’s achievement, such as stealing a piece of cheese or a steak from an unwary human.
In use: “People often misuse flooftory, confusing it with inflooftory, but the first is about a floof winning something, such as the rights to a space, a piece of food, etc., and inflooftory is about finding all the animals to confirm their locations.”
Floofxedo (floofinition) – a housepet that looks like it’s wearing a tuxedo; housepet clothing ensemble that looks like a tuxedo.
In use: “The matching black and white dog and cat seemed to be wearing floofxedos. That would have been interesting by itself, but the house’s decor was black and white, with chrome highlights, and she was wearing a black and white ensemble with silver jewelry. It was over-the-top and unnerving.”
Floofdux (floofinition) – when a housepet does something, and then does it again; when a human does something for a housepet more than one time.
In use: “Trained to respond to treats, she demonstrated her cat and dog’s synchronized standing-on-their-hind-paws routine, treating us to a floofdux when others arrived.”
Archfloofocese (floofinition) – the district for which an archfloofshop is responsible.
In use: “The pets established areas, an archfloofocese, if you will, where they liked to hang. In each archfloofocese, one pet ruled and kept order – a cat in the master bedroom, a dog on the patio, and the noisy bird in the living room.”
Flooftastic (floofinition) – extraordinary or amazing housepet; an activity done by a housepet that’s extraordinary or amazing; an imaginative or fanciful activity done by or for a housepet.
In use: “Emily preferred living outside on the patio even though the temperatures were dropping into the high teens and heavy snow often fell. To protect the cali kitty and give her warmth, comfort and protection, Jill devised a flooftastic, insulated, two-story heated condo with lights, food and water. She put a camera in it with a microphone so she could check on her feline friend whenever desired.”
Floofspot (floofinition) – 1. place on human bodies that pets like to rub. Floofologists theorize that many cats and dogs believe that rubbing a specific spot on a human will grant them complete control over the human’s activities, a practice first documented in ancient Flooflandia. 2. place on pets that humans like to rub because their pets seem to like it. 3. Specific location known as habitual sleeping, ambush, or lurking locations used by housepets.
In use: “As soon as he walked into view, the cats raced to his legs, rubbing against his calves, knees, and ankles in search of his floofspot, as their mother had taught them.”
Michael Seidel, writer 