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Telefloof (floofinition) – the practice or habit of talking to housepets as though they understand.
In use: “Every morning, Michael began the day with a telefloof with the cats, advising them not to fight and asking their advice about his breakfast choices and the order that he should do activities. They made it clear that feeding them was top order of business.”
Floofaroni (floofinition) – 1. A housepet that features long, tubular bodies that remind people of macaroni; 2. Housepets that seem as loose and pliable as cooked macaroni noodles; 3. Macaroni covered in pet fur; 4. The macaroni that a pet starts eating.
In use: “After making mac and cheese for herself, set it on the table to go back and get pepper and a glass of wine. When she came back, the lab was standing on his hind legs, eating her meal. When she shouted, “Hey,” he looked at her like he was saying, “I thought this was floofaroni. This isn’t for me?””
Floofcadian (floofinition) – characterized by, or occurring in periods or cycles dictated by housepets.
In use: “In theory, he went to bed at midnight and got up at six thirty to seven in the morning, but the cat’s floofcadian rhythm meant he awoke several times, usually beginning at three oh seven, to deal with cats going in and out, asking for food, or causing mischief because they’re bored.”
Floophet (floofinition) – a housepet gifted with abilities to foretell the future.
In use: “The Dalmatian floophet always knew someone had arrived before others, and divined if they were a stranger before they reached the door, announcing the differences with unique barks, but she also knew when someone was becoming sick, even before they knew, immediately comforting and treating them with gentle tongue licks and a constant presence.”
Thoroughfloof (floofinition) – a fastidious, meticulous, or tidy housepet.
In use: “A thoroughfloof in his litter box habits, the big tabby tom always dug a hole, did his business in the hole, and then covered the hole with his business with brisk, quick strokes.”
“The beagle was a throughfloof when it came to food, snatching up and lapping up anything dropped on the floor before two seconds passed, and licking his bowl clean at every feeding.”
Floofdude (floofinition) – animal lover.
In use: “The floofdude kept food and treats in his bag so that he could feed any cats and dogs that he met, and carried nuts and seeds for crows and squirrels. They all started looking for him. It was like Mr. Doolittle was walking down the street on some days.”
Foodiefloof (floofinition) – a housepet who displays loyalty to whoever has the food; a housepet who is fond of food and eating.
In use: “Titus is sometimes a dudefloof, but when I’m cooking, he becomes a foodiefloof, and then, he’s all mine!”
Dudefloof (floofinition) – a housepet who prefers male company.
In use: “In a house with three young girls and two female adults, the dog turned out to be a dudefloof, even though one of the girls had rescued him. Wherever her husband went, the spaniel followed.”
Roofloof (floofinition) – housepet, often cats and birds, who enjoy hanging around on roofs.
In use: “The next-door tortie was a roofloof. If our neighbor didn’t find her on his roof, he’d walked around, looking on other roofs and calling her. It was a seasonal habit, exercised only when sunshine abounded.”
Floofproach (floofinition) – the manner taken to walk up to, pet, or speak to a housepet.
In use: “One must be cautious in their floofproach when dealing with Tina. She’s gentle and sweet, but she is large and has her floofuliarities. For example, an unexpected hand toward her face will earn one a sharp rebuke.”
Michael Seidel, writer 