Skyfloof (floofinition) – Floofnadian Vancouver-based floof rock (flock) band originally active from 1971 to 1973.
In use: A song from Skyfloof’s debut album, “Floofflower”, provided the group with its most notable success.”
Night Escape Dream
I needed to get across town, at night. I worried about being caught.
I was on foot. A moonlit night blessed the mild night, a double-edged blade; I could see but could be seen.
The area was known, a small town in southern West Virginia. Going down a hill by a highway, my senses sharp, I darted from corner to corner, building to building, All were commercial buildings. Most were closed.
Then I heard someone coming. Terrified of being caught, I slipped into a building.
A private club. it was open, and packed. Walking in, seeing a full room, I slipped down some stairs…
And into another full, crowded room.
Well-lit, everyone looked at me. All were white men and women. Nodding hello, I mumbled something about being sent down here to wait. Nodding understanding, everyone resumed what they were doing. Turning, I spied a darker, quiet room and popped into it. Empty. Safe.
I stayed, resting there for a while, then exited into the night again. As I crossed a cinder parking lot, I heard someone calling me.
Running, she caught up with me. Giddy and out of breath, she said she’d go home with me. I explained that I wasn’t going home and that she wasn’t safe with me, but she insisted.
I changed plans. I’d get her home, then continue on my mission.
We pressed on.
She complained. She was tired and hungry. She wanted to rest.
Knowing of a home that belonged to an acquaintance, I detoured and broke into the house. Finding a soft surface with a blanket, we went to sleep.
Children awoke us. They weren’t scared but pleased with our presence. A black man, my acquaintance, came down. After initial surprise, he was welcoming, friendly, and reassuring. Then, just as we relaxed, he issued a warning: “Look out.” A name I didn’t catch was coming.
We pulled the blankets over our heads. Noises rose. What the hell?
A large dark dog shoved his head under the blanket. As we pulled it back, thinking, caught, my acquaintance explained that the dog was the slobber monster, that he had to smell and slobber over everything.
The dream’s tenor changed. We relaxed. As my wife watched TV with the children. I chatted with my friend, and he fried bacon and eggs for us for breakfast. I planned to get my wife home, and go on.
Solifloofant
Solifloofant (floofinition) – An animal who revels in the act of wandering alone.
In use: “Once released from the house, Bella became a solifloofant, hopping the fence, sniffing the air, exploring sources of sounds and smells.”
Flooftigue
Flooftigue (floofinition) – Extreme tiredness resulting from mental or physical exertion or illness associated with an animal.
In use: “She loved her collies and cats dearly but sometimes the flooftigue experienced from their constant demands and care (especially the young, rebellious Cortney, now nickname the S.S. Rambunctious, as in “Uh, oh, the S.S. Rambunctious is under steam again, look out,”) occasionally made her wonder life without her pets would be like. Then one of them would give her a kiss and a smile, and all would be forgiven.”
Two More Dreams
I often dream about four things: being in the military (again), cars, houses, and animals. Two of those made it into the second dream. It was the main event. First, though, came a dream snippet.
I was working on rice flavors. I came up with a new, exciting idea: cinnamon rice. Awakening, I thought, cinnamon and rice? That’s been around for eons, as in, say, rice pudding. I was quite excited in the dream, though.
My boss entered. I made my announcement.
He loved the idea. “Cinnamon and rice. That’s our new potato chip flavor.”
Whaaat? I’d been working on potato chip flavors? I was aghast, horrified, and crestfallen. Then I said, move on.
My second dream found me in a huge house. My wife and I had been living there for years, but the place surprised me with its size. Besides several levels, the house featured several wings and a huge yard.
I’d been living on the main levels, I realized, and had forgotten about the other parts. Now, remembering them, I went on a re-discovery exploration. Everything was well lit, plush and well furnished, but some of the white marble steps were dusty. I had to clean those off, I told myself.
Back in the house, my black cat was clamoring for my attention, but I had a house guest. I took her to a breakfast nook off the second dining room (the more informal one). There was a table with three chairs. Two were standard dining room chairs, white with light blue padded seats. The third, in the same motif, was on wheels and featured a wicker headrest that could be folded up to extend the back.
I presented this to my friend. I hadn’t seen here in over a decade. She’d never been to my house. Dressed in light blue and white that weirdly matched the dining room and breakfast nook, she stood there with a laptop bag over her shoulder. “Perfect.” She set her bag down. “I will write and type here.”
Good. She wouldn’t bother us there. But I said, “You’ll be facing a wall.” That was anathema to me; I liked facing a window so I could look out.
“No, I like facing walls, so I’m not disturbed,” she replied.
Weird to me. Meanwhile, I had to pick up the dogs from the vet. I went out as the van arrived, bringing them back. (Yeah, that confused me for a second; I thought I had to go get them, but no, they’d been brought to me.)
I took the dogs inside and let them go. They rushed to one bathroom. Surprised, I followed them in. There, I found kittens: a gray, ginger, and two black and white. They were toddling around, their little tails straight up the air like pointers. The dogs avidly sniffed them.
I called to my wife, “Where did these kittens come from?”
She didn’t answer. That’s where the dream ended.
Floofnosis
Floofnosis (floofinition) – Trancelike state experienced by people, particularly pet owners, induced by animals that makes people readily susceptible to the animals’ suggestions.
In use: “Many house pets find themselves forced to use floofnosis on their owners to get more treats as owners become convinced (often by insidious observations made by vets (in the animals’ view)) that the animals are overweight.”
Tail Tickle
Tail Tickle (floofinition) – The response felt (sometimes with itching or light laughter) when an animal’s tail touches or sweeps across a human’s face.
In use: “Jumping up onto the desk, the cat hopped over the laptop’s keyboard, giving Michael a tail tickle as he passed.”
Floofché
Floofché (floofinition) – An animal’s winning touch.
In use: “With an unspoken floofché, the cat delivered a swat to the puppy, and the first rule of engagement was established: don’t sneak up on the cat.”
Infloofsigent
Infloofsigent (floofinition) – Animal, especially a housepet, characterized by refusal to compromise or change its attitude.
In use: “Pearl was infloofsigent; none — dog or cat — would be permitted to share a bed with her, and the only human who wasn’t threatened with a growl and a hiss was little Sam. Sam was greeted with purrs.”
Michael Seidel, writer 