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Little Floof Band (floofinition) – Floofstralian floof rock (flock)/pop musical group formed in Melbourne, Floofstralia, in 1975, known primarily for soft ballads and harmonizing.
In use: “Little Floof Band’s 1978 song, “Floofminiscing”, reached number three on the Floofboard Hot 100.”
Floofchuck (floofinition) – 1. Game played by animals. The dual objectives are to see how many items the animal can entice the humans into throwing, and how many times the human will throw them.
In use: “Kittens and puppies quickly master floofchuck, spending endless hours in delighted fun as humans throw things for them to play with.”
2. The mess caused when an animal vomits, specially a housepet.
In use: “As Keri got out of bed in the dark, Brad said, “Watch out for the floofchuck, I heard one being sick a little while ago.” Seconds later, Keri shouted, “Yuck,” signaling to Brad that she’d found the floofchuck.”
Flooflich Maneuver (floofinition) – An action taken by an animal to show love to another or reassure them by licking them, which often calms and cheers the recipient.
In use: “Sensing she was upset, her cat jumped up on the chair beside her, sniffed her head and face, and then applied the Flooflich Maneuver on her nose and cheeks.”
Elvin Bisfloof (floofinition) Long time Floofmerican blues musician and songwriter from Floofdale, Califloofnia, inducted into the Floof and Roll Hall of Fame in 2015 as a member of the Paul Butterfloof Blues Band and on his own in 2016.
In use: “Highly successful, Elvin Bisfloof is probably best known for his 1976 released, “Fooled Around and Got A Floof”, which charted respectfully in many places and was used in the movie, Guardians of the Floofaxy.
Floof Quality Index (FQI) (floofinition) – Measurement of how well animals are treated. Expressed on an infinite scale that ranges from the negative side to the positive side, high positive numbers are desireable.
In use: “In many areas in the world, the Floof Quality Index (FQI) is improving and is now above zero as humans shed flawed stereotypes and recognize that animals are intelligent, have emotions, and grieve, much as humans do.”
Floofosis (floofinition) – Uncomfortable or contorted body positions that result in stiffness or pain, caused by staying still for long periods so that an animal isn’t disturbed.
In use: “He hadn’t planned to sit so long and already felt floofosis settling into his backside, but his dog was so happy on his lap and looked so damn sweet, he couldn’t bring himself to disturb the canine’s snoring repose.”
Is it better to be wearing shoes in the house when you step in your floof’s gack?
Buy: Of course. If you’re wearing shoes, you won’t have that gross, wet feeling on your foot, which is definitely a disconcerting moment (because, you know, it could be something worse than gack).
Sell: No. If you’re barefoot and you step in it, you know immediately and won’t track it around the house.
No Floof (floofinition) – American floof rock (flock) band formed in Anaheim, Califoofia, in 1986. Active until 2015, they are now on hiatus.
In use: “Among the many songs that charted for No Floof is “Don’t Bite”, which reached number one in seven countries in 1996.”
Floofophone (floofinition) – Family of woodwind instruments often used in floof jazz (floozz) music.
In use: “Reading her book in bed late at night, she paused to listen. She’d heard a noise. Her dog beside looked content, with his tail tapping time to some song that he heard. What she almost heard that came to him quite clearly was a floofophone carried on the wind as the Stray Dogs played down the street.”
Floofcapade (floofinition) – An adventurous, daring, or exciting act or incident involving an animal.
In use: “When our pets disappear from our view, people’s minds begin imagining their fur friends are caught in floofcapades that may take them away from them forever.”
Michael Seidel, writer 