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He sits and washes
Curls up and sleeps
Runs to the food bowl
And sits and eats
Yawns and stretches
Curls up and sleeps
Begs for treats
Curls up and sleeps
Runs and scratches
Curls up and sleeps
Plays with a toy
Curls up and sleeps
Goes outside
Curls up and sleeps
Comes back in
Sits and eats
Plays on the laptop
Curls up and sleeps
Takes my chairs
Curls up and sleeps
Watches birds and squirrels
Curls up and sleeps
Then sits and washes
Curls up and sleeps
Runs to the food bowl
And sits and eats
Cancflooflation (floofinition) – An event, plan, action, or activity that is stopped due to an animal.
In use: “They’d planned to clean the house but a cancflooflation was made because the cat and dog were sleeping together in a long patch of sunshine and looked so darn cute.”
Peeping Floof (floofinition) – Animal who likes to furtively spy upon others.
In use: “One dog, two cats, one crow, and one squirrel — all were peeping floofs, monitoring every move that Wade made, from the bedroom to the bathroom, kitchen, garage, office — a peeping floof was always monitoring him.”
Floofchief (floofinition) – 1. Playful misbehavior or troublemaking by an animal, especially in a pet.
In use: “The big dog and little cat were full of floofchief, chasing and ambushing one another, but also chasing the children, and letting the children chase them.”
2. Cloth used to clean off an animal.
In use: “Sebastian was known to slobber and drool — he was a big old dog — so it wasn’t surprising that Sid carried a floofchief around to tend Sebastian whenever necessary.”
Vifloofperation (floofinition) – Ann animal’s sustained and bitter railing, especially about imagined slights.
In use: “They had to close the puppy in a room because of a party, and the little canine immediately set up an unholy vifloofperation, clawing at the door, barking, whining, and howling.”
Floof Bush (floofinition) – A plant where an animal likes to sleep or sit. Note: not to be confused with floofbush.
In use: “The middle poplar (of three) was the backyard floof bush, a space on a little hillock where the yard could be surveyed, sunshine swept in past leaves, and breezes kept whatever creature residing there from getting too hot.”
Horofloof (floofinition) – Animal’s sense of time, ability to maintain a schedule, and their associated method of tracking time.
In use: “Humans are often amazed by their pet’s horofloof, especially when dogs go to the door to greet their returning people. Scientists speculate that this might be because dogs note that their people’s smell has faded. Animals, however, know that as an amusing theory; their minds are attuned to the cosmic view that lets them see beyond the immediate moment.”
Prefloofpitation (floofinition) – Moisture thrown off by an animal.
In use: “Coming in from outside with a snow covered back, the dog shook, filling the room with prefloofpitation.”
Floofsurp (floofinition) – for an animal to seize and hold objections, locations, or food in possession by force or without right.
In use: “Thowing a hissy fit, the fierce little cat floofsurped the big St. Bernard’s bed, leaving the huge canine floofmmoxed.”
Michael Seidel, writer 