The Next Summer Games

My wife and her friends were talking about the Olympics and the new events that were added. She said, “We’ll probably see pickle ball at the Olympics in four years.”

Laughter rang out. Then one wag added, “And all athletes will be over sixty.”

The Squirrel

My wife and I are driving down the road, a little over the 25 MPH limit. My wife yells, “Watch out for the squirrel.”

“I see it.” The squirrel, like most of them that I see, has darted halfway across the road. After a pause, they took a few more hops toward the road’s other side. Now they’re paused in our lane. It’s still far down the road. There’s plenty of time for the squirrel to get out of the way. I’m reading to toot the horn and brake. “Don’t worry, it’ll be alright.”

“No, it’s a crazy squirrel or it has a death wish. It doubles back.” My wife is intensely leaning forward. “I see it all the time.”

I’d never seen it before, that I know. “How do you know it’s the same squirrel? It cou — “

“It’s the same squirrel, I know it.” She hammers the windshield. “Get out of the road, you crazy squirrel. Move faster. Don’t come back.”

The squirrel clears the road and disappears into bushes on the other side of the sidewalk. “There, they’re gone,” I say.

“You never know.” My wife sits back. “It’s a crazy squirrel. Sometimes I think it wants to get run over. Well, it’s not going to be me.”