Sunday’s Theme Music
Ashland, Oregon — Sunday, March 1, 2026. It’s raining and foggy in Ashland, with temperatures tottering around 50 degrees F. Not a shred of sunshine out there, and a high of 57 is expected. Spring is muscling in.
It’s a day of questioning for me, starting with what’s going on with Mom to what’s going on in the world and the nation.
I learned yesterday that another sister — our youngest — had been going to visit Mom, taking her things, etc. The youngest has been designated as our contact with Mom because she has the best relationship of everyone living nearby. I reached out to her to see how Mom was doing.
The youngest related that when she arrived, Mom was playing bingo with five or six others at a table and apparently laughing and having fun. Mom told the youngest that she’d gone to church, which she enjoyed, and seemed pretty content and happy.
After wheeling Mom back to Mom’s room, the youngest found clothes all over Mom’s area. Mom complained she didn’t have hangers. Sis pointed out that they’re in the closet, and told her, you need to look, and helped Mom tidy.
Then, though, today, Mom asked the youngest to bring her cookies — “Anything but chocolate chip.” Oatmeal raisin cookies were brought, which made Mom mad. She then gave my sister ‘mean faces’ and quit speaking with her. The youngest rolled Mom to the dining room so she could eat, and then left.
The youngest sister also related that Mom’s roomie is 95 years old with congestive heart failure and two ‘bad shoulders’. She had a hospice aid visiting. My sister suggested that maybe we should get Mom a hospice aid. That took me back, because there’s nothing indicated to me at this point that Mom is ready for hospice.
It’s just as troubling and confusing elsewhere in the world. Trump ordered the U.S. to attack Iran, a joint operation with Israel, “Operation Epic Fury”. While Iran’s supreme leader was killed, Iran retaliated. Americans were killed and injured. More critically, is this the opening that will explode the area into another war? Trump and his advisors seem to think in terms of gunship diplomacy and regime change.
Trump — the peace president, a self-made assertion that has Orwell laughing in his grave — said that the attack was to protect Americans. “Our objective is to defend the American people by eliminating imminent threats from the Iranian regime,” Trump said in prerecorded remarks posted on White House social media accounts early Saturday morning.”
Back in 2011, Trump said President Obama would start a war with Iran. “Our president will start a war with Iran because he has absolutely no ability to negotiate. He’s weak and he’s ineffective.”
Who is weak and ineffective now, Trump?
Protests in Baghdad broke out, with “Death to Israel, death to America,” being shouted. This smacks of the 1970s and 1980s, so it sickens me that we seem to be going into another war spiral. I hope to hell that’s not true.
As I sat with that information, news arrived of a mass shooting in Austin, Texas. Next came updated information about deaths in Iran where 85 are reported killed: “The majority of the dead are schoolgirls aged between seven and 12 years old, according to the regime-controlled news outlets Tasnim and Fars.”
Senseless killing, once again. I expect anger and hatred in Iran to rise in response. This is exactly where we were before, using violence and killing to win hearts and minds. It did not work then; I don’t expect it to work now.
BTW, remember when Trump vowed no more wars when he campaigned? Guess that promise meant as much as Mexico paying for the wall and lower food and energy prices.
The song in my morning mental music stream came when I first looked out the windows, before reading any news. “Rainy Night in Georgia” came out in 1970. The Neurons put it in there when I thought, “Another rainy day in Ashland.” I didn’t remember who performed the song and looked it up to learn it was Brook Benton.
I call again for peace and grace to find its way to us, and maybe it will someday. Right now, it feels less likely than it did last week. But things will change. It’s really just question of how and why.
Cheers
Memories & Laughter
In the last few months, a parent, stepparent, and two friends died. Last week, Mom threatened suicide and is now in a nursing home at 91.
Mom used to light up when I came through her door. She always wanted to feed me. Her cooking was excellent – especially her potato salad and spaghetti and meatballs.
She loved playing games, especially cards. She always told me that she enjoyed how I made her laugh.
Thinking of her made me remember others. Grandpa Paul passed in 1976, age 65. Multiple uncles and cousins followed, and a half dozen friends made during my military service.
I mostly remember their laughter and the fun of being with them.
That brings me joy.
Of all that was endured, it’s the laughter and fun which remains.
The Brown Cougar Dream
My wife and I arrived at a resort hotel, meeting our friend, Bob and his wife. Real-life note: this is not the same Bob from my previous dreams, but a friend and co-worker from my military days. The wife in this dream wasn’t his real-life wife.
Bob, who was prematurely bald, had thick black in the dream. My wife and I had just arrived. Bob and his wife came by to greet us and make plans.
I noticed some filth on the ceiling. It disgusted me so I looked for something to clean it up. I found some spray and sprayed it all over but then needed a ladder and rag. A young hotel worker asked me what I was doing. I explained myself. He shook his head and reassured me, “Don’t worry about it, we have it covered. It’s not your problem.”
I went back into the room and noticed the spray had already made the ceiling mess almost invisible.
Bob and I ended up outside, where it was like a desert after a rainstorm. He was carrying a young animal he’d rescued. Noticing a young brown cougar down the hill, I followed behind Bob to protect him from the cougar and found a large stick to use as a weapon.
Waiting on a porch for Bob’s return, I saw the cougar watching me. As that registered, the cougar approached. Raising the stick, I yelled and made myself big.
Sitting down, the cougar asked, “What are you doing?”
“I’m making myself big and making noises to scare you away.”
The cougar chuckled. “Did you really think that was going to work?”
“That’s what they tell us to do.”
“Anyway, you’re safe for now,” the cougar said, “but you scheduled to die tomorrow, and I’ll eat you.”
I was appalled and vowed not to let that happen.
The cougar shrugged. “It’s going to happen. It’s on the schedule.” He indicated a bright pink and blue poster. I read the poster but saw nothing about my death on it.
Back in the hotel room, I showered and cleaned up. Bob came by to see if I was ready. I told him that I needed to shower. I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower and then realized, what am I doing? I already showered.
I was now naked downstairs and needed to up to my room. Entering the stairwell, I caught a reflection of myself and found I was astonishingly good-looking — much younger, lean and muscular, with a thick head of dark brown hair swept to one side. As I started up the steps, a young woman entered.
“Eek,” she said, pretending to turn away. Covering her face with a hand, she looked at me between her fingers. “A naked man.”
I laughed and apologized, continuing up the steps, and encountered another woman. “Locked out without your clothes?” she mused.
“Yes, that’s what happened.”
She chuckled. “We’ve all been there.”
Now dressed, I joined Bob and our wives in another area of the resort. I saw the brown cougar in the crowd, watching me. I realized that I’d forgotten something in the room and needed to go back. Bob drew up a complex map, showing me where we were and how to get back to my room, 1004, at the top of the building. Although his map was detailed, I felt bewildered and said, “I’ll never find my way back through that maze.”
Bob said, “Alright, let me go with you, at least part of the way, until you know where you’re at.”
Dream end.
Thursday’s Theme Music
Thursday, January 29, 2026, arrived in Ashland, bleakly overcast, 46 degrees. A high of 55 F is forecasted for us.
“Looks like rain,” my wife said. I nodded, agreeing. Papi meowed for food.
We need snow but it’s been a while since we’ve had serious precipitation in Ashland, invoking drought memories. With drought comes more wildfires, stirring recall of the 2020 Almeda fire, which destroyed several neighborhoods, almost wiping out entire towns. Rebuilding continues more than five years later.
It feels like it echoes Yogi Berra’s observation, “It’s deja vu all over again.”
I met with friends for beers and chats last night. As we discussed ICE in Minnesota and the killings of Alex Pretti and Renee Good, two members reminded us of another ICE killing. Keith Porter was killed on December 31st in Los Angeles. He had a rifle and was shooting it into the air to celebrate the New Year. Not illegal, but an off-duty ICE agent shot and killed Keith Porter for it.
Three dead, all from innocuous actions. ICE’s record for killing U.S. citizens while aggressively hunting ‘illegal immigrants’ darkly disturbs me.
I hope there will be justice for Keith Porter, Renee Good, and Alex Pretti. I’m not sure if that’s possible in the U.S. with Trump in charge. Trump suggested that Renee Good was a terrorist who deserved to die, an allegation given without evidence.
More depressing, those three deaths are just the headline news. Other reports have ICE is responsible for the deaths of eight people in 2026. It’s not even the end of January yet.
Some glimmer of optimism was found on Daily Kos. Mark Sumner summarized how Jonathan Ross, the ICE agent who killed Renee Good, might be prosecuted, citing previous legal rulings and the courses which might be followed. I read it and took deep breaths.
I’m not overly hopeful but there is a glimmer. Part of my negativity stems from several simple facts in the cases and rulings Sumner cited: law enforcement killing citizens is more deja vu all over again.
Trying to break out of the cloud of general malaise now falling on me, The Neurons have a Cake song organized in the morning mental music stream. My friend and I were chatting last night, and I was telling him about this song, “Short Skirt Long Jacket”. He wasn’t familiar with it, though I sang it to him and everything. Should have just pulled out my phone, right? I realized that an hour too late.
Anyway, the bouncy song is now rooted in me, so let’s play it, sing along, and maybe smile a bit.
May peace and grace find us and save us from this cycle of ICE killing, and may justice be served. Cheers
A Symptom of the Age, or Something Worse?
Today, January 24, 2026, the news reported that ICE killed another American citizen in Minnesota.
As with the death of Renee Good earlier this month, Homeland Security claims the protestor, Jeffrey R Pretti, was obstructing justice and that ICE agents feared for themselves. Early video evidence of Pretti’s death shows something else happening than what Homeland Security claims, a disturbing and continuing trend. Watching Good’s death, many of us saw a woman driving away. Others claimed she was driving her car at the agent. Later evidence revealed that AI was used to alter the original video, obfuscating the truth.
Whatever circumstances surround Good’s death, the Trump administration closed ranks, blocking local and state investigations. Nothing released or transpired since then has given reason to believe an open and truthful investigation is forthcoming.
Trump has shaped this climate by previously and consistently spreading misinformation. Further, Trump’s pattern of comments raises concerns that government violence against Americans under his administration is part of larger and more dangerous intentions.
Trump suggested heavy Federal presence was needed in Los Angeles and Portland (OR) because the cities were on fire, stories debunked before any troops were deployed, causing his to wonder — why were they there?
Before Trump federalized Washington, D.C.’s police force, he claimed he needed to counter “rampant crime,” but statistics and studies didn’t support that reasoning. Trump claimed Chicago residents were “screaming for us to come” despite significant decreases in violent crimes.
In such an era, I worry the Trump administration will again stop any open investigation of Pretti’s death. In his second inauguration speech, Trump declared, “I want to be remembered as a Peacemaker and Unifier.” With actions speaking louder than words, that is not how I expect Trump to be remembered.
As a manager and retired senior NCO from the military, I learned to investigate mistakes to find what went wrong to prevent reoccurrences. As leader of the Federal government’s executive branch, Trump should welcome open and transparent investigations, and order changes as necessary to ICE’s methodology.
Without such investigations, my doubt grows that we’ll see meaningful change. Without change and clarity about what caused these deaths, I worry for my fellow citizens’ safety, and for the future of our nation.
Saturday’s Theme Music
Today is January 24, 2026.
Saturday came to Ashland dressed in the same weather that Friday wore. Coldish but clear, with sources reporting 36 to 46 degrees F in Ashland, with blue skies. We no longer have a stagnant air advisory and the high will be in the 50s.
As I watch the storm developing in the eastern U.S., I realize that I’ve taken on a new life as a tracker. My tracking life is an old life, but just freshly understood — tracking weather, prices, people’s health along with their moods and situations, and politics.
Sis reports what’s up with Mom, which is mostly moods and mental issues. The truth is, Mom’s issues made co-existing with her a struggle, no matter who it is. A sad trend, sure, but we’ve seen this happening for years. When her boyfriend, Frank, was alive, she complained about him, accusing the 95-year-old of being mean, cheating on her, and secretly plotting and planning unnamed things.
Mom’s prescriptions and credit cards are now the issue. Mom insists she doesn’t have a co-pay; she does until she maxes her deductible. Her credit card was blocked because Frank’s name was on it, too, and his family tried closing it. Sis reports daily rounds about the co-pay and credit cards. Mom is furious with sis because sis argues back and has the receipts, which shows what’s going on. Mom ends with telling sis that sis is being mean — just as Mom used to say about Frank.
As for politics…
Trump requires heavy tracking energy, as that meme shows. His logic defies logic, his history defies history, and his facts defy the truth. That shifts heavy lifting to those aware of these things — tracking them. We know the real story when he says that prescription drugs will be 1,000% (or more) lower or that he’s stopped hundreds of wars and saved millions of lives. We live the truth that the economy and the deficit are not rosy, as he declares.
The Davos show was interesting. According to some reports, he was expected to make an announcement about using 401(k)s to buy houses. But he never mentioned that, instead focusing on himself and disparaging the rest of the world, particularly our allies. Speaking in Switzerland, he said that we’d all be speaking German, if not for the United States, another testament to his vast wasteland of broken understanding.
So much of this places me in a waiting stage, waiting to see what happens with Mom, the economy, politics, the weather, and our life. I’d selected “Wind of Change” by the Scorpions as today’s theme music. It plays in my morning mental music stream, an homage to Francis Buchholz, the group’s bassist who recently died. Written in the USSR during perestroika, the song reflects the sense of change in the nation as realization arrived, the cold war is ending.
Look at the song’s lyrics:
The world is closing in, and did you ever think
That we could be so close like brothers?
The future’s in the air, I can feel it everywhere
I’m blowing with the wind of change
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away (dream away)
In the wind of change
It’s about moods, expectations, and how they impact us. That’s why I think it perfect for today.
Stay warm, be safe, and keep tracking what matters to you. May the day bring you grace and peace. Cheers
In Flight
A jet carves a white trail
Through a clear blue sky
Carrying people
Going home
For business
On vacation
To places unfamiliar
Visiting lands
They used to know
Others could be going back
For a death
A birth –
A love
Different destinations
Bodies
In a frame
Of space
In time
Captured
In a moment
Of gazing
Wishing –
Wondering
Standing
All alone
Michael Seidel, writer 