Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
BFT (floofinition) – Floof shorthand for ‘Begging for treats’.
In use: “Tucker told Papi, ‘Stand back, kid, and watch a master BFT.’ Settling before his human, Tucker began with the big eyes, then magnified it into an intense gaze. As his human continued ignoring him, Tucker added a loud, Merow,’ and tacked on a purr like an idling diesel engine.”
WTF (floofinition) – Shorthand slang for ‘What the floof’, an expression people with animals often employ when they see what the animals have done.
In use: “Seeing photos of pet mischief and destruction wrought by cats and kittens, dogs and puppies, and goats and birds on the net, commenters responded with laughing emoticons and ‘WTF’.”
Polyfloofmy (floofinition) – Established relationship with more than one animal.
In use: “Many people driven by desires to save animals and give them a home or because they think their pet is bored, embrace polyfloofmy, but some do it because they find animals engaging, entertaining, and loving, and often prefer to be with them rather than other humans.”
Floofkrieg (floofinition) A fast and sudden animal attack.
In use: “Many people with young animals such as kittens and puppies are subjected to floofkriegs on their persons as the young floofs practice stalking and hunting to develop their bodies and improve their coordination.”
Cats Actually Know Each Other’s Names, Study Suggests
“Published last month in the peer-reviewed journal Scientific Reports, the study examined 48 cats who either lived in households with at least three other cats, or were from “cat cafes” where they cohabitated with lots of other felines. To test their name recognition, the researchers showed each cat a computer monitor displaying a familiar cat’s face, and an audio recording of their owner calling either the displayed cats’ real name, or a name that didn’t match the cat on the screen.”
I’m surprised by the study results NOT AT ALL. It is satisfying to read what I’ve always thought to be true. When one of our cats doesn’t respond to their name, one of our tricks is to call one of the other cats’ names. The one ignoring us inevitably turns around and comes to see what’s going on.
Science — and cats — marches on.
Slinky Floofy (floofinition) – A common exercise routine used by my animals, which calls for the animal to stretch its limbs while lowering itself to the ground. In its most basic configuration, the animal stretches either the rear or front limbs first, followed by the other end, will lowering their body as far as possible.
In use: “Quinn was a master of the slinky floofy, almost flattening his chest to the ground as he splayed his paws and stretched his front legs, and then leaning forward, lowering his rear as he extended his rear rear legs to their maximum.”
FloofFlock (floofinition) – Video-focused social floofworking service which that provides short formats produced by animals for animals.
In use: “Many animal videos on FloofFlock center around pranks that pets play on their humans, such as hiding items like car keys, prescription glasses, and phones, or stealing socks from the laundry.”
Floofcaster (floofinition) – 1. A person who predicts what an animal will do.
In use: “From years of observation, Jeff had become an adept floofcaster regarding the backyard interactions between the neighbor’s cat, the squirrel, the jays, crows, and his dog, Pixie.”
2. An animal who makes predictions.
In use: “Whether by hearing or some psychic abilities, Merlin the Cat always not just knew someone was coming, but the floofcaster showed by behavior who was coming, bolting to hide if it was a stranger (or Meg, who he couldn’t stand for reasons he never gave), and rushing to the door to greet friends, family, and those deemed worthy of is affection.”
Floofslide (floofinition) – 1. Procrastination caused by an animal’s presence, conditions, or involvement.
In use: “Cary’s chores suffered a floofslide as the puppy unmade the bed while she made it, then diverted her attention with antics involving the cat, Mystery (who still hadn’t wholly accepted the puppy as a worthwhile housemate), a ball, and a spider.”
2. A deterioration in an animal’s situation or health.
In use: “Despite everything which he did, Marvel’s floofside continued, forcing Ray to consider the inevitable, that Marvel was not going to get better.”
3. A maneuver in which an animal slides over a surface, such as a hardwood or tile floor.
In use: “The two cats chased one another, claws scrabbling on the floor as they executed long floofslides, changed directions, and bolted down the hall.”
Ah, the air has a fresh smell today. Sunshine glints through cloud breaks enough to lift the flowers and spirits.
Today is Friday, May 13, 2022. I won’t bore you with the headlines. War and politics continue, murders abound, economic worries are riff, and then there’s sports and entertainment. Sunrise began officially at 5:52 this morning. We’re at 52 F and expect a high of 63 before sunset rolls up at 8:23 tonight.
As part of the morning rituals, I fed the cats. I’ve tried skipping this part, but they have ways, called claws and meows, to remind me. Opening a new box of kibble for their pleasure, I told them, “This is a brand-new box.”
Strains of Steve Wonder playing harmonica began. Soon the neurons had Sting singing “Brand New Day” in the morning mental music stream. The 1999 song is a good antidote for depression, hopelessness, weariness, and frustration. It goes well with coffee and threatening rain clouds.
Stay positive, keep bringing home those negative tests, pay attention and take care. Here’s the music. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 