Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofgom (floofinition) – Floofish word that roughly translates to ‘just enough’ or ‘good balance’.
In use: “For many cats, when floofgom is reached when their belly is being rubbed, they will immediately announce, ‘That’s enough’, often by love bites or some quick claw action.”
July 22, 2023. It’s a warm, quiet Saturday morning in Ashlandia, where the trees are old and so are most of the people. 71 F with smoke — a light haze, really — nature is pressing on the pedal and taking us up to 95 F. That’s where she likes cruising in our life zone these days.
The thing about our weather is that it’s a slow build. Sweetly pleasant in the morning, it gets warm but not uncomfortable. People go outside and exclaim how nice it is. Stays like that, gently skipping through the low 80s. Then, around 3 PM, BAM. You hear a noise and look at one another. “What’s that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Sounded like it was outside.”
“We’d better go look.”
So we leave our cool enclosure and walk out and then, say to each other as we fan our faces, “Oh my god, it’s so hot out.”
The cats then shift into deeper shadow. Papi and Tucker, who normally stay away from one another, make a treaty and settle in shade on the porch, riding out the heat until the evening, when hostilities re-commence. The heat stays in the air until after nine on these nights, then scales down into the high seventies by ten. Windows and doors are opened to receive the cool night air. Sleep, rise, repeat.
We’re heading to Lake of the Woods Resort. Less than an hour from us up in the low mountains, the small lake is comforted by tall, old trees. Doesn’t get nearly as hot, and the lake breezes are muy refreshing. A band will be playing and BBQ will be underway. They’ll be dancing and socializing like it’s 1988, as the band, Saucy, covers songs from that area. Should be a good time. I’m excited about going.
Perhaps because of the heat, I have a Lover Boy song from 1983, “Hot Girls in Love” in the morning mental music stream (trademark dismissed). I can only guess the hot weather is why The Neurons slipped into the MMMS. Other guesses are welcomed.
Remain positive, stay calm, and keep on keeping on. The coffee has been injected, I mean, sipped. I feel my energy rising. Keep it real. Hey, ho, let’s go. Here’s the tune.
Cheers
Arifloofacy (floofinition) – Governing or ruling by a small set of animals.
In use: “The novel by George Orwell, Animal Farm, is about an arifloofacy and the changes it brings to the farm’s dynamics, but anyone with pets have probably experienced an arifloofacy in action, or had to deal with it, for example, fending off the arifloofacy while eating.”
Flooming (floofinition) – Animal’s washing of a human to show their pleasure.
In use: “Whenever Jade began flooming Carrie, she began with Carrie’s hair. Always interested in being part of whatever was going on, Honey the Beagle would join the flooming, eagerly washing Carrie’s face as Jade started on her arms.”
Felix Floofa (floofinition) Originally an expression to convey a ‘lucky animal’, the meaning has changed to reference an animal who brings luck to others.
In use: “Surviving COVID but losing her job, on the verge of homelessness, Sylvia found herself feeling hopeless, but then a little mutt of a brown dog was found at the animal shelter. Despite all logic, she adopted the fellow. It seemed like he was a felix floofa, for she was suddenly offered a job which was a promotion, paying better, and the landlord abruptly grew benevolent, forgiving her the back rent owed and reducing her rent. Naturally, she named the dog Felix.”
Bathofloof (floofinition) – An animal, usually a housepet, which encroaches on people when they’re in the bathroom.
In use: “Barney the Beagle was adverse to closed doors in a house but the big ol’ bathfloof always unleashed a storm of howls when one of his people closed the bathroom door on him.”
Genufloof (floofinition) 1. Gestures, sounds, and postures used to earn an animal’s trust.
In use: “Feral or near feral young animals often distrust humans because they don’t know them, so humans will genufloof by lowering themselves, trying to make themselves smaller, while speaking softly and holding out a non-threatening hand.”
2. A posturing system for exchanging greetings shared by animals with humans.
In use: “Whenever Michael and Papi encountered one another, they genufloofed, Papi by first stretching his front legs and then his back legs in long, leisurely moments, and Michael, by squatting down, saying, “Hello,” offering a kissing noise, and holding out a few fingers for the cat to rub against.”
Kinefloofics (floofinitions) – The branch of floofatics concerned with floof activity and motion without reference to the causal forces.
In use: “When a new floof comes around — either as a casual visitor to the property or introduced as a new floofhold member — it’s natural for the other floofs as well as the humans to apply kinefloofics to understand what the new booger is like.” – Excerpt from “Once Upon A Floof; The Relationships Between Humans and Animals”
Acflooftion (floofinition) – the process of adding animals or materials associated with animals, such as food, toys, and furniture, to a location.
In use: “With one floof, little sign of acflooftion is usually noticed, but as more animals join the household, acflooftion accelerates, with more food and water bowls seen, along with toys, pet doors, and things like beds.”
Floofnoulli’s Principle (floofinition) – A principle of floof culture which states that the increase in a human’s stealthiness when they’re preparing, getting, or consuming food directly relates to its tastiness or desirability, and a floof must therefore use more energy to try to get their share of the food as quickly as possible.
In use: “Although apparently asleep, Daisy heard the subtle kitchen sounds. Instantly recalling Floofnoulli’s Principle, she leaped from sleeping position to dead run, sliding to a stop in the kitchen in front of Lisa, who was just about to eat a potato chip.”
Michael Seidel, writer 