Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Defloofmation (floofinition) – Change for the worse, or alteration of a form or shape due to animal activities, presence, or behavior. Origins: Mid-twentieth century, United States, New England.
In Use: “After three cats joined the household, significant defloofmation was seen on the carpet, sofa, and a couple chairs.”
In Use: “Jet’s defloofmation of the backyard included his racing path, where he went out every morning and did laps through the grass.”
Mood: Humpnotized
I was gently serenaded awake by the dulcet tones of a cat upchucking somewhere nearby. Investigating, I found it was Tucker heaving up kibble and a hairball. Fortunately, I had an exercise towel down. It was for foot and leg exercises to cope with my ankle injury, based on recommendations from my sister, a physical therapist. Tucker and Papi had staked out the green towel as the new ideal napping spot in the house. That’s where Tucker was sleeping when I went to bed. Apparently, he slept there until he awoke and puked.
That’s how my Wednesday, June 19, 2024 began. Hope yours was better. I raise my coffee cup to Juneteenth and my fellow Americans who celebrate it for all the right reasons.
Spring’s hold is weakening in Ashlandia. Sprummer has burst back onto the scene. It is a beautiful blue skied morning. Sunshine baths runners, bikers, grooming cats, and everything else under the sky. 61 F, today’s high will bounce into the low 90s. With this abrupt weather shift will come high winds.
After the puke check, I squirmed back into bed, and then tumbled with dreams and thoughts. The thoughts went down a parental aisle. Dad in the hospital. Mom was there in April. The two are divorced, with new partners. They actually divorced over fifty years ago. Dad has been with his ‘new wife’ for 35 years, his third marriage. Mom has been with her beau since 2009. Family whispers say that she’s been married seven times. Mom has a secretive gene so vetting information is a challenge.
Mom professes to constant pain. She complains frequently and often about her existence, frequently demanding her daughters’ attention, repeatedly regaling all of us with tales hospital visits, doctor appointments, and health details. Going backwards, appendicities, and before that, a perforated appendix put her in the hospital. Her pacemaker was replaced. COVID hospitalization, spinal stenosis, swollen foot (but not edema, she tells me, although she had sixteen lymph nodes removed during foot surgery), and of course, fifteen years ago, the disastrous fall down the steps. She sleeps with a mask on to help with her breathing because of emphysema. Hardly able to walk, she insists on tottering around the house to clean it, though to most eyes, it’s immaculate. She takes dozens of medications, vitamins, minerals, and supplements.
Dad tells me from his hospital bed, “I’m fine,” with a chuckle. “They have a hundred doctors helping me. They want to put me on dialysis but at my age, they worry about whether I’d survive the procedure.” He’s been stented over ten years ago. Uses a wheelchair and a cane. Has oxygen at home, which he insists that he doesn’t use. Only his wife is there to help him.
Mom always complains about her beau. He can’t hear, she says, and I’ve witnessed the truth of the 94-year-old man’s hearing issues. “He’s forgetful,” she angrily hisses. “I always have to tell him things and make him lists.”
Dad’s wife laughs about Dad and his idiosyncrasies. He never says a harsh word about her.
What a difference their worlds are.
Today’s song choice by Les Neurons is a little ditty called “Twilight Zone (When the Bullet Hits the Bone)” by Golden Earring from 1982. A song inspired by an adventure spy novel, it’s presence in my morning mental music stream (Trademark split) is all on me. See, I was feeding the cats and somehow ended up singing, “You will come to know when the kibble hits the bowl.” That’s a variation of Twilight’s chorus, “You will come to know when the bullet hits the bone.”
Stay positive, be strong, and Vote Blue for 2024. Coffee has stolen into my body. Here is the music video. Cheers
Bountflooeous (floofinition) – Giving freely to animals or disposed to give to animals.
In Use: “Brenden established himself as a bountflooeous individual before he was five years old, feeding any dog, cat, squirrel, or bird who came along.”
In Use: “Martin was bountflooeous, driving around his town every day to provide food and water to stray cats and dogs, earning their trust, getting them medical help, and finding them homes. Locals nicknamed him The Animal Guy.”
Narcofloofsey (floofinition) – Condition that is chararcterized by an urge to sleep or nap when in an animal’s presence, especially when they’re sleeping on a sofa, bed, or chair.
In Use: “Having a rough day, Gina saw her puppy asleep on the sofa. As she sat beside the dog, she felt narcofloofsey take her and curled up beside the furry floof for a nap.”
In Use: “Mark settled down on the sofa to read but his cats joined him and in an instant, narcofloofsey had won the moment, and all three were asleep.”
Mood: Springtied
Spring has hardened its grip on its final days in Ashlandia, pulling us back out of sprummer. Cloudy, chilly, blustery, partly sunny, it’s a ‘y’ day. Temperature is hanging onto 60 F now, up from the low in the 40s. In fact, the heat came on this morning because the house’s inside temperature dropped to around 66. The horror of it all. Today’s high is expected to squeeze close to 67 F.
No matter, the cats have found outside places to chill. Tucker is under the bush off the patio right beside the front door. Papi is on the other side of the yard, under the bushes by the wooden fence. With these positions, they have the entire yard covered. These two positions have been coveted and held by cats since we first moved here in 2006.
Our Father’s Day plans don’t include fathers. I’m still waiting for an update on Dad. I spoke to his wife yesterday. He was in good spirits in the hospital and the fluid around his heart was being removed. She said she’d have him call me when the chance came. My wife’s father passed away back in 1991, just after he retired, right after he turned 65.
But we have this monthly thing with friends. Social people, about my parents’ ages, they’ve become housebound with health issues so once a month, we go to dinner at their house. Food is provided by a local restaurant. We take turns paying. Sometimes we watch sumpthin’ on TV; once in a while we work on a jigsaw puzzle. More often, we just chat and visit. We missed the engagement in May as I was in Pittsburgh (well, Penn Hills) visiting Mom and family.
I have the Rolling Stones singing “The Last Time” from 1965 in my morning mental music stream (Trademark fused). The Neurons didn’t reveal a reason for the song but I’d guess it has something to do with Dad being in the hospital.
Be strong, stay positive, lean forward, and Vote Blue in 2024. Coffee is making its way through my system, and here is the music video. Cheers
Winmace (floofinition) – Expression of distaste or disgust displayed by animals when encountering wind.
In Use: “Dodger was never a wind fan, and the big lab would always winmace and bound back into the house whenever breezes began shaking the tree branches.”
In Use: “Winmacing, little Mae moved backward into the house when the wind hit her face.”
Kama Flooftra (floofinition) Ancient book composed by animals displaying positions used to scratch, pet cats, and sleep. Many animals study the kama flooftra in pursuit of living better. Origins: First noted in Mesopatamia in 600 BCE.
In Use: “Dixie was forever surprising her people with the positions they found her but they were unaware that she was a fervent fan of the Kama Flooftra, being totally unaware the book even existed!”
Floofness (floofinition) – 1. The quality of being the epitomy of whatever species of animal is being represented. Origins: mid-17th century in France.
In Use: “Despite being a young female cat, Philo developed the floofness of a large dog, say a Pyrenean Mountain Dog, boldly confronting and chasing off any animal not part of the official household, unless it was another cat; other cats were welcomed and accepted as long as they behaved.”
2. Used as a title or address for an exalted animal or an animal held in high esteem. Origins: 12th century, France.
In Use: “Bella, the neighbor’s little Corgi, was always referred to as ‘Her Royal Floofness’ and carried herself as worthy of the title.”
Floofucable (floofinition) – Open to, fit for, or able to share space, expecially homes, with one of more animals. Origins: 1834, United States
In Use: “For Brad and Ken, one of the best reasons for buying a home meant that they could share their space with dogs, cats, birds, and other creatures, without worrying about apartment management.”
In Use: “Many times, animals must look at people and assess if they’re floofucable before agreeing to joining the people’s household, because being wrong can mean a world of hurt.”
In Use: “When his daughter asked her father for a puppy, he wrestled with how floofucable she was as a five-year-old still coping with her mother’s death.”
Michael Seidel, writer 