Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Doofloof (floofinition) – a housepet who often acts silly.
In use: “The feathered doofloof liked collecting things from around the house like rubber bands, chains, keys, and bracelets, often dancing in triumph while singing when he added a new treasure to his collection.”
Floofallama (floofinition) – a housepet who resembles a llama; a llama who is a housepet.
In use: “With its big, dewy eyes, long lashes, and curly, soft light-brown fur, the dog was a floofallama, and could have easily been at home on a llama ranch.”
Adflooficate (floofinition) – to make an official decision about who is right in a dispute between two or more housepets.
In use: “The household’s sole feline, a small, older female, was involved in almost every dispute that he had to adflooficate. Disputes usually involved food, toys, or a warm place to sleep. No matter what he decided, it seemed like the cat always won. Whether the dispute was between the human and the cat over a chair or between the dogs and the cat over the bed, she always seemed to win.”
Flooflandia (floofinition) – ancient continent where animals ruled and lived in harmony. Floofologists disagree as to whether Flooflandia is mythological or was real. Recent theories hold that Flooflandia exists but requires quantum powers and knowledge that only animals possess to reach it.
In use: “They say that in Flooflandia, no animal is an orphan, for another animal will find it and take care of it as its mother.”
Mewmuring (catfinition) – a soft, satisfied meow t often incorporates a trill or a purr, generally associated with a happy, contented cat and frequently heard just before a cat begins eating.
In use: “Sweet mewmuring replaced the kittens’ strident meowing demands, and then the sounds of eating wet food replaced the mewmuring.”
I sat down on the toilet to do my morning thing. Instantly one of the three household cats graced me with his attention. One always does. Should I get in there and close the door before one arrives, a pitiful protest begins outside the door.
Boo wound himself back and forth against my legs while purring, meowing, and tossing glances at me. I said, “Will I never be allowed to do my business at home without one of you helping me? It’s irritating sometimes, you know. How would you like it if I petted you while you were in the litter box doing your business?”
I swear that his purr when up twenty decibels.
Pent up by a winter storm, my cats conferred and emerged from their confab with new demands. Each demands that they get at least fifteen hours per day of personalized care and attention. Said personalized care and attention requires me to pet, scratch, caress, play, and feed each one (or allow them to sleep on my lap) for a total of at least fifteen hours per day. They’re calling this the fifteen-hour minimum initiative.
I pointed out to them that the day has only twenty-four hours, that I have other things to do, and there is no way that I can give each one fifteen hours of attention.
They reacted with sad head shakes. Boo, the spokes-cat, said, “Anything is possible, if you set your mind to it.”
They’re boycotting me until I come around, or feeding time, whichever comes first.
With snow falling and accumulating, my cats have adopted new rules for deciding whether to go outside.
If two of these conditions are met, they don’t go out. Meatloaf was wrong: two out of three is bad.
Floofstakes (floofinition) – potential outcome for housepets; in jeopardy for being a positive or negative result for a pet.
In use: “He hated taking his fur friends to the vet. Too often, the floofstakes weren’t good, beginning the slide down a long hill he’d gone down too many times.”
Macfloofnation (floofinition) – a housepet’s scheming or crafty action or artful design to accomplish something it knows it’s not allowed to do; a group of animal lovers who also identify as Apple Mac users; (slang) housepets who enjoy eating food from McDonald’s restaurants.
In use: “As part of his macfloofations to get food off the plate, he put on his cutest face, holding it in place as he edged his paw forward.”
Michael Seidel, writer 