Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofstacle Course (floofinition) – a path over which people negotiate going around and over their housepets to progress from one place to another.
In use: “Loaded with a large tray of fruits, cheeses, crackers, and breads, he had to get through the floofstacle course, edging around Daisy, his elderly retriever, stretching his legs over the big black and white Maine Coon, Panda, and then tip toeing past the sprawling but petite Lady.”
Flyfloof (floofinition) – 1. A small, lightweight housepet; 2. A bird pet; 3. A wingless quadruped who still thinks they can fly, or tries to fly.
In use: “At six pounds and twelve years old, Buddy was a flyfloof, but his vocal power rivaled anything Ella Fitzgerald ever belted out.”
Purflooftory (floofinition) – the period of waiting for word on a missing fur friend or the outcome of their medical procedure.
In use: “The day was a waste. He’d descended into puflooftory, piddling around to smother time until the vet called and told him, “The operation was a success. Camryn is awake. You can come and get him.””
Floofbrarian (floofinition) – an animal who resides in a library.
In use: “Harriet, a Brooklyn Art Library floofbrarian, is a great help to all who enter the library.”
h/t to ForwardDog.com and The Sketchbook Project for Harriet’s photograph.
Floof Row (floofinition) – part of a property or in a house frequented by lounging animals, particularly housepets.
In use: “The cats, dogs, kittens, and puppies made the guest room floof row, resigning Carrie to anticipation of a big clean once the foster animals were adopted.”
Floofbot (floofinition) – a machine that waits on pets, completing menial tasks necessary for their care.
In use: “As she gave the dog another treat and prepared to take him for a walk, she said, “Sometimes I think you think I’m your floofbot.” The dog sat down and gave her a hurt look. She rushed to him and hugged his big neck, kissing his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” Standing, the dog thumped his tale.”
Hummingfloof (floofinition) – a small housepet that flits around at amazing speeds, often making a humming sound as it goes by.
In use: “Bruni excelled at going from the living room sofa to the front window and back, but the little brown hummingfloof was faster than sound when the refrigerator was opened or a package was opened.”
Wild eyes and tame eyes
watching from under bushes
unseen by others
Floofnet (floofinition) – 1. Quantum communications systems used by animals to share information such as gossip, homes that give out food and treats, and warnings of danger. 2. World wide web that’s devoted to animals.
In use: “People always assumed that animals sniffed one another to pass messages and learn more. The reality is that such behavior was respected by the animals as an ancient tradition, although they admitted that it was also part of their disinformation campaign to keep humans ignorant of their abilities. They’d long before replaced sniffing with the floofnet, an almost instantaneous method of sharing information across long distances.”
Wolfloofrine (floofinition) – 1. a heavily built housepet whose appearance, behavior, or both, reminds people of a wolverine. 2. Slang for a housepet that resides in Michigan. 3. Housepet that acts like a tough anti-hero but is often a private sweetheart.
In use: “A classic mutt of confusing breeds like that found in an animal shelter, the dog’s wolfloofrine appearance and attitude made him difficult to adopt, but Shannon saw him, and it was love at first lick. She named him Logan, of course.”
Michael Seidel, writer 