Tag: cats

Monday’s Theme Music

I began as a ZZ Top fan in high school art class in 1973. I introduced them to my friend, who became my girlfriend and then my wife when Tres Hombres came out that year. “La Grange” become a song that had her reaching for the volume knob and twisting it hard right whenever it came on.

I’ve seen them in concert three times. Today’s song came about from a dream last night. Multi-tasking in the dream, one sequence had me trying to feed the cats. They were going nuts for the food that I was offering them. I was trying to keep them out of it while putting the food in bowls for them. Meanwhile, a dozen interruptions were transpiring.

Anyway, from that feeding sequence, I started singing to them, “Gimme all your kibble, all your hugs and kisses, too,” because that’s how it seemed in the dream. My music stream picked it up and started cranking out “Gimme All Your Lovin'” from Eliminator (1983).

Never seen the video before, though. I was overseas during those years in places that usually didn’t have television available. Kind of a cheesy video. But it was the 1980s.

 

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Habflooftual

Habflooftual (floofinition) – customary or regularly practiced manner for interacting with housepets or animals.

In use: “Seeing a dog kicked his habflooftual responses in, and he’d immediately drop down to his knees to say hello, and if the dog was willing, and it was permitted, to give the dog a few ear skritches.”

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One-upsfloofship

One-upsfloofship (floofinition) – a housepet’s practice of outdoing or keeping one jump ahead of people or other floofs.

In use: “In classic one-upsfloofship, Tiny the St. Bernard took Jumbo the tabby’s favorite sleeping location. A floof too savvy to be outdone, Jumbo settled himself on Tiny’s head and groomed himself.”

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Floofaby

Floofaby (floofinition) – a song sung to housepets, typically when a loving session takes place.

In use: “When petting his cats, he would often sing a floofaby and scratch their ears, reveling in their purrs and soft fur as they curled up against him and went to sleep.”

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Floofjinks

Floofjinks (floofinition) – boisterous or rambunctious carryings-on by housepets.

In use: “Nothing like the red dot laser point to start floofjinks among the cats. Once they were started, even the dogs got into the floofjinks.”

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Floofket

Floofket (floofinition) – slang for a housepet that’s capable of exerting sudden bursts of energy to accomplish incredible physical feats such as knocking people over, executing high leaps, racing faster than lightning, or snatching food from others’ hand or mouth in less than an eye-blink.

In use: “Hearing a package open in the kitchen, the cat kicked into floofket mood. Leaping from sound sleep on the sofa over the coffee table, he shot into the other room, sliding to a halt at the man’s feet with a tall tail and trilling mew.”

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Floofvoyance

Floofvoyance (floofinition) – a housepet’s power or faculty of discerning objects not present to human senses.

In use: “I doubt floofvoyance is real, but I can’t explain how my cat knows that things are going to happen before I have a clue that they’ve begun.”

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FNA(Floofino Nucleic Acid)

FNA (Floofino Nucleic Acid) (floofinition) – self-replicating fur initially shed by housepets. FNO is present on almost all clothing, furniture, and food in a home with housepets, and can also be found in hairballs and animal feces. According to reports denied by NASA, FNA was discovered on the Moon during the first manned lunar landing.

In use: “Floofcon 2019 rose to international prominence when an announcement came out that floofologists had created a home FNA (Floofino Nucleic Acid) test kit to determine specifically from which animal hairs, hairballs, and the errant turd that turns up on the floor, originates.”

h/t to Jill Dennison, Floofologist

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