Haifloof #40
Dreamfloof
Dreamfloof (floofinition) – 1. The perfect, most wonderful pet. 2. An animal who only appears in visions.
In use: “Except for her intolerance to other animals, Flash was a dreamfloof.”
Floofmandering
Floofmandering (floofinition) – Dividing a house in a way to give one pet an advantage over others.
In use: “The cat realized that the the only way into the main part of the house was through one hall, so, floofmandering like a classic politician, she positioned herself as a tollfloof in the hall after the dogs went into the game room area, and dared them to try to get by back into the main house.”
Unrefloofpant
Unrefloofpant (floofinition) – No exhibition of shame or remorse by a housepet for its behavior.
In use: “The cat pushed a bottle of nail polish off the counter. “Stop it, Jade,” she shouted. Unrefloofpant, Jade looked at her and batted a bottle of pills to the floor.”
Floofgasm
Floofgasm (floofinition) – Net slang for a feeling of intense pleasure derived from animal companionship.
In use: “All I remember is napping with the kittens and puppies through the afternoon’s long, sweltering heat. What a floofgasm.”
Infloofticated
Infloofticated (alternative spelling: inflooxicated) (floofinition) – emotionally excited, elated, or exhilarated by a housepet’s presence.
In use: “Home after a rough trip, the triplets – two tabbies (siblings) and her big white Spritz/Samoyed mix, Max – rushed to welcome her back. Within seconds of their welcome, she felt infloofticated, and weariness sloughed off her.”
Floofhole
Floofhole (floofinition) – 1. An obnoxious pet who seems deliberately contrary and unruly, often bothering and annoying others. 2. A pet who seems insatiable.
In use: “A big dog, he ate with gusto and ran with energy, a floofhole who seemed to swallow cans and bags of food without noticing, trying to eat everything else within reach, too. Nothing was safe.”
Floofarchy
Floofarchy (floofinition) – social organization marked by the pet’s supremacy in a household or family.
In use: “His love of animals was apparent, and his social posts suggested that he supported a floofarchy, allowing his pets to do anything (or so it seemed) while treating them like England’s royal family.”
Michael Seidel, writer 