Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofspiration (floofinition) – The process of being mentally stimulated by an animal, especially a housepet, to do or feel something.
In use: She was down, but the dog walked up with this dopey look, with his leash hanging out of his mouth. Floofspiration seizing her, she laughed. “You’re right. It’s too nice a day to sit here feeling sorry for myself. Let’s go for a walk.”
Another floof-inspired choice. Two of our three boys squared off. Mewing, yowling, and growling, Boo said, “There’s not room for two of us in this entryway.” Papi’s got us back up. “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? There’s no one else here so you must be talkin’ to me.”
It was Saturday night. “Enough,” I said. “Keep it up, and I’ll get the squirt gun. Boo, be quiet. Papi, go around him.”
They did as told. Yeah, surprised me, too. Guess they feared that squirt gun. As Boo went out and I closed the door behind him, I finished, “Saturday night’s not alright for fighting.”
That, of course, introduced the Elton John/Bernie Taupin tune of that name from 1973, when I was just seventeen. Here we go.
Impromptfloof (floofinition) – 1. Acquiring a pet or animal housemate without planning. 2. An action done by an animal, especially a housepet, without apparent thought or planning.
In use: “She saw the puppy injured on the road’s shoulder. She thought he was dead, but picking him up, he yelped and licked her face. After a stop at the vet for treatment, she was an impromptfloof pet-owner for a sandy-colored dog named Road.”
Ambiflooftrous (floofinition) People (or animals) able to enjoy the love and company of more than one species of animal.
In use: “Men frequently declared themselves to be dog people, but Tom was ambiflooftrous, sharing his life, love, and company with cats, dogs, birds, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, tropical fish, a goat, and a turtle.”
Floofstory (floofinition) – 1. The study of past animal events, particularly in housepet affairs. 2. The complete series of events connected with a specific pet or animal.
In use: “The black cat’s floofstory was brief: he’d showed up at their house wounded and hungry, so they’d gotten him help. Meanwhile, nobody showed him as missing, so he came to be their pet though floofmentum.
Floofmentum (floofinition) – The impetus gained by an animal, especially a housepet, particularly when addressing how the animal joined a household or won someone over.
In use: “The giant parrot had to have once belonged to someone, but it’d landed in the yard and then invited itself into the house, and then, through floofmentum, came to be Lily’s best friend and constant companion.”
Double Floofex (also called dooflex in net slang) (floofinition) – Time and place where two animals are laying together, often with paws and tails wrapped around one another.
In use: “The ginger cat and Golden Retriever often napped as a double floofex on the sofa.”
Flooftweet (floofinition) – 1. Tweets about animals. 2. Tweets made by animals.
In use: “Many flooftweets (about a pet) could be flooftweets (made by a pet), as animals love secretly gaining control of people’s phones and computers and sending messages. As people never suspect animals are behind it, they often accuse others of hacking their accounts.”
Flooflantis (floofinition) – A lost continent where animals established their first settlement after arriving on Earth. Highly advanced, Flooflantis was said to exist in the Atlantic Ocean and was lost for several eons due to tectonic shifts. Humans who later learned of its existence attempted to pass it off as a lost Human civilization, as people didn’t believe that animals could be so advanced and capable.
In use: “Learning of Flooflantis through guarded conversations with pigeons, squirrels, dogs, and cats, Francis Bacon adopted the tale, changing the name to Atlantis and populating it with humans.”
Floofbreak (floofinition) – 1. Taking a holiday or vacation away from animals, especially household pets. 2. A pet or animal’s escape from a place or situation.
In use: “Carole King made national news after her Border Collie’s floofbreak because Carole searched for fifty-seven days to find her friend.”
Michael Seidel, writer 