Tag: cats

Floofkate

Floofkate (floofinition) – Floof Goddess of Moon, Earth, and Time. Floofkate was one of the profloofitors of the original floof kingdom, and learned to harness quantum energy in a way that others see as magic. A persistent myth exists that Floofkate was one of the many animals which are mentioned in human legends, but no longer exist. Most frequently cited is the unicorn.

In use: “As animal consciousness grew, connecting to one another on a quantum level in exponential numbers, Floofkate’s influence increased. Soon, with her help, they began dominating the Internet.”

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Alterfloof

Alterfloof (floofinition) – 1. Housepet or animal with more than one personality. 2. An animal or housepet who originated in another universe. 3. Slang for an otherworldly behaving housepet.

In use: “Sometimes Maxine could be terrifying. She was an alterfloof, frequently cuddling and sweet, but then suddenly growling and baring her teeth at everyone, spreading fright through the household. No one knew what caused the shifts.”

 

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Floofzilla

Floofzilla (floofinition) – 1. An animal that is much larger than average. 2. A housepet or animal that terrorizes others or is particularly adept at mass destruction. 3. Mythical pet that is cited as being responsible for the destruction of many ancient civilizations, including Timflooftu.

In use: “At six weeks old, the puppy transformed into floofzilla, wreaking havoc with towels, curtains, pillows, and toilet paper rolls.”

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Headfloof

Headfloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal that’s in charge. 2. An animal, especially a housepet, who likes to sit on people’s heads. 3. Housepet who enjoys messing with people’s minds.

In use: “Rocky was a headfloof, which was cute when he was tiny, but by the time he weighed more than ten pounds, his habit of jumping on your head was a pain in the neck.”

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Afloofdala

Afloofdala (floofinition) – Small, lima-bean shaped mass of gray matter located in the medial temporal lobes, that allow humans to emphasize with, love, and care for and about animals.

In use: “Surveys and interviews show that people with small or inactive afloofdalas often thought animals didn’t feel pain and lacked intelligence. Those with active afloofdalas reported otherwise. Interesting, but the size and activity of the afloofdala didn’t affect whether people kept pets, but it did affect how they regard their pets and how the pets are treated.”

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Floofza

Floofza (floofinition) – 1. A pizza made or bought specifically for an animal. 2. Pizza claimed by an animal for their own consumption.

In use: “His cats always wanted pizza, so bowing to the inevitable battle, he always created a floofza for their consumption. They still came after his pie, though.”

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Floofws

Floofws (floofinition) –  Recently received or noteworthy information about animals, particularly about important events.

In use: “By careful culling, he made floofws almost all that he saw on the net, reading, gathering, and posting humorous stories or daring rescues involving animals. After five decades of following politics, sports, and the economy, he was tired of the craziness and inclined to move to the comfort of the floofws.”

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Floof Age

Floof Age (floofinition) – The first known period of animal culture, characterized by the animals domination over the Earth.

In use: “When animals’ first floofcraft arrived on Earth after their escape, they settled in neolithic humans settlements and passed on their knowledge of agriculture and architecture to help humanity survive and flourish, a neolithic era often known among animals as the Floof Age.”

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Floofcialize

Floofcialize (floofinition) – Animal’s friendly participation or interaction with other animals or people.

In use: “Although the kitten was six weeks old and had been living rough on the streets, he floofcialized within an hour, rumbling up to the German Shepherd for companionship, playing with resident queen feline in another hour, and comfortably napping with his new human friends within three hours. By the next day, it seemed like he’d always been there.”

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Nirfloofa

Nirfloofa (floofinition) – 1. A transcendental state humans feel when with an animal in which there is no suffering, desire, or a sense of self. 2. A transcendental state that animals enter when extremely satisfied, or high on natural herbs, such as catnip.

In use: “After sitting down and sighing to let the tension and stress of the day’s work and subsequent drive home drain out of him, the dog came over and put her head on his leg. After a few minutes of stroking the dog’s soft fur, nirfloofa came over him, and a new sigh, of satisfaction, slipped out.”

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