One Floof Wrecking Crew

One Floof Wrecking Crew (floofinition) – Floofdiom used to denote that an animal is extremely messy, causes trouble, or gets into mischief.

In use: “After puking up a hairball, Tucker suddenly became a one floof wrecking crew, letting out banshee yells while gallivanting around the house, stalking the other cats, and scratching his claws on the furniture, drawing Michael’s ire.”

Saturday Strings

Haven’t mentioned a few things (skunk, arm, Fitbit) in a while. Being egocentric, I thought I would today.

  1. Oh, the skunk. She (my wife is certain it’s a female) has gained the upper hand on we puny humans. She thumps the board aside (I keep it there so I know she’s coming and going) and does her business.
  2. Last night, however, came turmoil under the house. Thump, thump, at first, rousing me from my television viewing. My wife had retired to bed. The cats were slumbering in preparation for their three A.M. rounds. I was watching “The Expanse” (the UN has just declared war on Mars and the Roci is heading to Io). The thump was singular and distant at first, causing me a “WTF, did-I-really-hear-something” pause. The show was stopped and I listened, counting cats (two were with me) when I did. Yep, the thumps repeated, more numerous and louder. Pushing the cat off my lap (he was listening, too), I leaped up, checked on the third cat (Papi, sleeping in the living room), and traced the sound. Finding its general area, I began thumping around in retaliation.
  3. The thumping underfoot increased in volume and frequency. My wife called, “Are you hearing this, too?” Uh, yeah. The sounds from beneath gravitated toward the front. Grabbing the flashlight, I turned on the front lights and headed outside.
  4. I arrived just in time to see the skunk exit the crawl space and bolt down the sidewalk, down the driveway, and across the street. Its perfume filled the air.
  5. Returning inside, I learned, we’ve been gassed. I reported my findings to my wife. The smell was mostly gone this morning, probably aided when the furnace kicked on and circulated the air. (The garage, though…you can spoon it out like Jello in there.) (Skunk Jello; that’s a thought.) As to what happened…it’s another of nature’s mysteries. I put the board back up this morning.
  6. My broken arm’s recovery continues. Rotation, flexibility, strength, and dexterity improves by day. I can now use ten pound weights to restore my arm and shoulder strength. I try twelves, but my wrist barks with sharp pains, so I cease. It’ll come. Persistence and perseverance. Raising my arm over my head (to put on a shirt, for example) taxes my shoulder. Yeah, working on it.
  7. Can’t do any pushups or chair-dips with my arm/wrist, though. Well, I can do modified pushups, where I’m on my knees. I can plank, and that’s up to three minutes a night.
  8. Meanwhile, Fitbit has congratulated me on hitting my distance goals every day for seventy-eight continuous days. My daily average is twelve miles a day. Although that pleases me, it comes with caveats. I only seriously walk outside three or four days a week, heading up the hills around my house, typically for one to three miles. Most of my daily stuff is derived from running around the house or jogging in place. I have several routes in the house, doing figure eights around the dining and living rooms. I’d like to walk outside more, but darkness comes early, and it’s wet and chilly, and I’m essentially a cream puff. I’ve considered walking in the morning or early afternoon, but that interferes with writing and housework. Priorities, don’t you know.

That’s all that’s fit to print. The cats (Boo, Tucker, and Papi) are all healthy and doing well. Tucker has said no to going outside, which is fine by me. Boo likes to go out in the morning and evening to do his business, but those turns are getting shorter quick. He resorted to the litter box last night. (Um, yea?) Papi, though, is a youngblood, and must roam the night. As its cold, his outside visits are getting shorter, but then, he’s bored, and wants to go out (or have me stay up and play with him, which ain’t gonna happen). Can’t wait till he matures enough to stay inside more.

Hope your life is going well. Take care.

Cheers

Floof off

Floof off (floofinition) – 1. A floofdiom which means to engage in idle activity, or to waste time.

In use: “For animals, one of the joys of being accepted as a housepet is that it frees them to floof off by sleeping, playing, and pretend wrestling.”

2. A rude expression employed by animals to tell another to leave them alone or go away.

In use: “Henry was a solitary cat with solitary ways and didn’t hesitate to tell other animals to floof off with a swat, snarl, and hiss.”

Pet Shop Floofs

Pet Shop Floofs (floofinition) – Flooflish floof pop (floop) duo formed in 1981, known for their synth sound and dance music.

In use: “Inspired by T.S. Floofiot’s poem, “The Waste Floof”, “West End Floofs” is one of the Pet Shop Floofs’ best known songs.”

Floof Convention

Floof Convention (floofinition) 1. A meeting or formal assembly of animals.

In use: “Floofcon One is the largest and longest running floof convention on Earth. Originally started by dinosaurs, it was discontinued for several ice ages before being rebooted by mammals. Humans were invited to the rebooted meeting but chose not to participate, and have been left off the invite list ever since.”

2. A rule, method, or practice established by animals for animals to follow.

In use: “By floof convention, humans are not permitted to learn floofspeak, the universal language that animals employ.

3. West Floofman floof disco (floofco) recording act formed in Floofnich in 1974.

In use: “Floof Convention’s biggest hit is “Fly, Robin, Floof”, which reached number one in the Floofnited States.”

The Village Floofs

The Village Floofs (floofinition) – Floofmerican floof pop (floop) and floof disco (floofco) musical band formed in 1977. The group became widely known for their suggestive lyrics and elaborate costumes and stage productions, hitting their peak popularity in the late 1970s.

In use: “The Village Floofs had several major hits, including “Y.F.C.A.”, “In the Kennels”, and “Macho Floof”, all of which scored big with floofco crowds.”

Floofvocate

Floofvocate (floofinition) – 1. A person who pleads causes for animals before others.

In use: “More floofvocates are rising, speaking out against animal cruelty, whether its agribusiness and slaughterhouses, puppy mills, or big game hunters who senselessly kill animals as sport.”

2. Among housepets, to promote receiving a share of meal or snack, a reward, or special treatment through behavior geared toward making humans surrender.

In use: “When Sally made a sandwich, her cat and dog sat down beside her, floofvocating their hope for a share with large, imploring eyes. Naturally, she — again, and as usual — gave in.”

Prefloofstory

Prefloofstory (floofinition) – Of, relating to, or existing in times antedating an animal or species’ current existence.”

In use: “With rescue animals, many elements of a pet’s prefloofstory are lost, but despite the apparent terrible straits or conditions of their lives, the animals often become loving and trusting.”

Los Floofos

Los Floofos (floofinition) – Floofmerican floof rock (flock) musical group from East Floof Angeles. Formed in 1973, floof and roll, Floof-ex, country, and F&B influenced their sound, along with more traditional genres such as floofbia, floofleros, and floofteña. The band  achieved its first major success in 1983.

In use: “Los Floofos most major hit is “La Floofba” in 1983, itself a cover of Ritchie Flooflens’ version of the floofditional folk song.”

Floofsolution

Floofsolution (floofinition) – 1. Act of forgiving an animal for a sin or bad behavior.

In use: “Even though the cat had once again knocked over the trash can and picked through it, she scolded him but then gave floofsolution, because he had such a damn cute face and deep purr.”

2. A remedy adopted for the betterment of an animal’s existence or comfort.

In use: “The dog loved eating popcorn, so the only floofsolution was to make enough for the dog, too, and ensure it was safe for him to eat.”

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