Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofplay (floofinitiion) – Floofternative rock band form in London in 1996 who achieved worldwide stardom with the release of their first album in 2000, Parafloofs.
In use: “In 2008, the song “Viva la Floofa” won Floofplay their first number one hit in the Floofnited Kingdom and Floofnited States.”
Flooftoring (floofinition) – Act of teaching employed by animals to help humans learn what needs to be done.
In use: “Many animals discover that humans inexperienced in pet ownership require flooftoring to teach the humans to respond to their commands. The animals are often disappointed in the humans’ limited abilities to learn and grow, but the animals keep trying, usually through repetition of lessons.”
Last night feature dream was in two parts. Both were about confrontation and communication.
The first had me and my wife visiting some people who may’ve been the wife’s distant relatives. Children and cats were strongly featured. Other than me, my wife was the only adult.
According to the children’s excited chatter, I’d arrived in a Ferrari, which, yes, I acknowledged with a smile. That impressed them. The place, a home where the children lived, was sprawling and one story, aging but in respectable condition, a modern-form-follows function shape. The children, probably eight to nine years old, three to four in number (I never got a good count on them), sandy haired and white, showed us around and helped us settle in. Cats were playing and running around, busy supervising it all. On a command from one child, all the cats hurried to one room, found a space, and settled down. A child closed a glass French door on them. I looked in at the cats on perches, seats, and sofas. There were at least five but there might have been seven. All were long haired.
Being discreet, I opened the door to visit the cats. The door’s round brass handle broke off in my hand. I attempted to stick in back on, but it’d been sheared, so that was impossible. Still, deciding I’d be able to get back out, I closed the door. After circulating and visiting with the cats, who were all well behaved and friendly, I went to leave. The door handle mechanism fell completely out. I decided to bring this to the children’s attention. When they didn’t grasp what I was talking about — that the door was broke because the handle had come off and the rest had fallen out — I asked them where their parents were.
Now, though, it was time to go. I had a speaking engagement and my wife and I were lunching first. With a dream shift, we were in an Asian city. Sitting outside on a leafy plaza, we were enjoying ourselves when I noticed black smoke in the sky. The smoke distracted me as the column grew thicker. I told my wife, “I think that’s our hotel.”
An explosion rocked the area. As everyone reacted with gasps and shouts, I could see that an upper floor of our hotel had exploded and was on fire. I told me wife that we should go back to get our stuff if we could
We joined others watching the hotel entrance. People were queuing to enter, so we got in line. A stocky Asian man in a red vest and white shirt was manning the door, controlling who entered. The line snaked forward until it was our turn. He asked for papers, some evidence that we were staying at the hotel. I had papers in my rear pocket so I reached around to get them out. The movement caused my arm to tremble.
The doorman demanded in a brusque tone to know why my arm was shaking. His tone and question outraged me but I answered that I’d broken the arm and it was still rehabilitating, and certain movement still caused me problems. With my wife trying to calm me, we went back and forth in rising tones about it, with the doorman implying or me inferring there was something sinister about me having a shaky arm. After we were admitted and walking away, I heard him say in snarky terms, “Oh, look at the strong man going away.” I turned to go back to have words with him.
The dream ended.
The Floofnd (floofinition) – Canfloofdian rhythm and floof singer and songwriter known for his floofcentric style. Born in Floofronto in 1990, he achieved his first significant international success in 2014.
In use: “The Floofnd’s first number one hit in Canfloofda was “Floof Hills” in 2015, while he’d hit number one with “Can’t Feel My Tail” in the Floofnited States, also in 2015.”
N.F.L. (floofinition) – National Floof League, organization of animals devoted to enlightening humans about floof lives and culture with the dual goals of eliminating animal abuse and enhancing relations between animals and humans.
In use: “The N.F.L. has a number of human members. Most, including Jane Goodall, were inducted for their work helping humanity understand animals.”
7:31 AM and 5:15 PM mark the times the sun rises and sets in Ashland, Oregon, today, Sunday, January 22nd. It’s 30 degrees F out, and feels like it. There are some days when the temperature doesn’t feel as cold (or as warm) as it’s supposed to be. That whole index and wind chill thing, I suppose. Today, though, felt 30 when we were out.
Yes, we were ninja shopping again, hunting fresh produce for soups, smoothies, and salads. My wife always times these things because experts say we should be in and out at the speed of sound because that confuses COVID-19. When people zoom by, COVID-19 reacts, “What was that? Someone there? Hello?” Then it forgets what it was doing and walks off muttering to itself, “I know I heard something. I know something was there.” Yes, COVID-19 is becoming old news.
I found myself humming “Days Like This” by Van Morrison. The song came out in 1995 but sounds like it’s from the 1960s. That makes sense because Van based it on the 1961 song, “Mama Said”, which was a hit for the Shirelles. I don’t know if I knew that before and had forgotten but Wikipedia claims it’s the truth, so it must be.
It was a day like this. My wife likes to be at the store at the beginning of time or the vulnerable hours, whichever comes first. I dislike shopping at the vulnerable hours, objecting to that expression, which is shorthand for “hour set aside for vulnerable and elderly people to go shopping”. To avoid the term, I tell myself we’re going at victory hour — you know, vee for vulnerable, vee for victory. I don’t want to call it the vee hours because there was a television show (and maybe a movie) called “Vee” about alien visitors. I don’t want to think of myself as a vee, in case I turn out to be a visiting alien the next time that I see a doctor. (Doctor: “It appears that you’re an alien.” Me, looking around, “Whooo, meee?”) Don’t mock me; my body is constantly revealing new information. Like, as my hair has thinned, I’ve noticed what appears to be a treasure map on my scalp. It could also be where a dead body is buried, so I’m not going to check it out, just to be safe.
On a side note, I had a special moment today. I went into the bathroom to do some business and not one of my three cats showed up to supervise, even though they’re all in the house and awake (because I saw them watching me on the way to the bathroom). Although I was first surprised, then hurt (“Don’t they care any more?”), I was then delighted to be in on the can alone. I so enjoyed it, I lost track of what I was doing and ended up wondering if I should paint the baseboards, of it they’ll just come clean with Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. Upon exited the restroom, I discovered one of my cats waiting for me. Looking at me, he said, “I would have come in, but it stinks in there.” He wasn’t smiling. (He sort of looked like Abe Vigoda as Fish on “Barney Miller”.) Then I encountered the other two cats waiting in the hall. They said, “He’s right, it stinks in there. You should have that checked out.” Like they know what they’re talking about. They’re cats. They can’t even open a can or use a spoon.
For the record, we were in the store for nineteen minutes and spent $115.10. That works out to $6.06 a minute. 2021 is gonna be an expensive year. I’m glad that we weren’t in there an hour.
Is there a song called, “Years Like This?”
Be positive, test negative, wear a mask, and get vaccinated. Here’s the music. Listen to it while I go get some coffee. I need it.
Megafloof (floofinition) – Floofmerican heavy metal floof rock (flock) band. Formed in Los Flangeles in 1983, the band is considered one of the top thrash metal bands. Its lyrics and performances have caused several controversies, some called by misinterpretation of the band’s lyrics, and other incidents arising from drunk performances and ongoing feuds.
In use: “Megafloof’s illustrated mascot, Vic Rattlefloof, frequently appears on show posters and in concert signage.”
Floofblematic (floofinition) – A difficult issue to solve involving animals.
In use: “Finding a stray can be floofblematic as the animal might be someone’s pet who has become lost, an issue that microchips and the database of pets and owners is hoping to reduce.”
Nine Inch Floofs (floofinition) – Industrial floof rock (flock) band. Formed in Clevefloofland in 1988, the group’s name is frequently stylized as NIF, and their fans are known as NIFits. Nine Inch Floofs were inducted into the Floof and Roll Hall of Fame in 2020.
In use: “Nominated for thirteen Floofy Awards, Nine Inch Floofs won twice, including for their song, “Floofiness in Slavery” in 1996.”
Superfloof (floofinition) – A staple of the seventies and one of the biggest floof rock (flock) bands of the era, Superfloof was formed in London in 1970. Although they achieved commercial breakthrough with their third album, Floof of the Century in 1974, the group’s zenith came in 1979 with Breakfast in Floofmerica, which produced four top ten singles.
In use: “Superfloof’s 1979 release, “The Logical Floof”, was the group’s first number one hit in any country.”
Michael Seidel, writer 