Bumblefloof(floofinition) – 1. An animal (other than a bee) which reminds others of a bumblebee with its sound or colors.
In use: “The little dainty gray and white cat looked nothing like a bee but her purr made her a bumblefloof, earning her the floofbriquet of Bumble.”
2. An ungainly or awkward animal who stumbles, trips, or falls over, without medical reason.
In use: “Toni was an enthusiastic big-pawed bumflefloof as a puppy, galloping about, bounding into furniture and people, knocking things over and bowling over other animals.”
Salfloofbrious(floofinition) – An animal whose presence is favorable to health or well-being, or promotes harmony and peace.
In use: “Beginning in the weeks before Debra’s breast cancer diagnosis, Karma became very loving and attentive, staying with her side as Debra underwent treatment and the cancer went into remission.”
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. Today is Tuesday, October 12, 2021. The big local topic is trick or treating. It’s coming up, you know. Large bags of fun-size candies leaped into local stores back in September. Right on their heels came the early Christmas offerings of decorations and lawn ornaments.
The T or T question came up because everyone wanted to know, what’s the plan? Should offerings be purchased to give out to children? Well, we usually don’t. They don’t come up our street. It’s steep. Not many street lights, making it dark. Houses are spaced apart. I don’t know. These are my guesses. But we’ve purchased in the past and then ended up eating that stuff. So, no more. Sorry, kids, but our light will be off.
Sunrise struck bold and beautiful at 7:20 AM. Steam rose off the ground as the icy and frosty grounds warmed up. Pretty in its own way. We were supposed to drop to 27, 28 F last night. When I went to bed at 1:30 AM, we were still at 36 F and it was that temperature when I got up just after sunrise. Sunset will occur at 6:34 PM. We’ll hit a high of about sixty-five between those hours, a bit warmer than yesterday.
We have a gas fireplace in the living room. We turn it off during the summer. With temperatures often sniffing around one hundred degrees, we feel having the fireplace pilot light going is just adding to the heat and we don’t want that. We’re trying to chill out. But now, we’re down into the range where having the fireplace available to turn on is beneficial.
I got down and went through the steps to light the fireplace pilot. Songs and cats accompanied me. The cats were helpful as I looked into the workings, asking, “What are you doing? What’s in there? Can I go in there?” After I told them, “No, move back,” they started giving me big eyes and telling me how mean I am.
The songs included The Doors with “Light My Fire” and then Jose Feliciano’s cover of the same song. Then, as the pilot wouldn’t lit, my mental Alexa fired up Billy Joel with “We Didn’t Start the Fire”. But the pilot came on, the fireplace was lit, and all was well. After that, as I gazed at the fire, The Bangles played “Eternal Flame” from 1989. That’s the song which started squatting in the morning mental music stream. I offer it to thee to displace it.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the vax. Here’s the music. Now, where’s my coffee? I had it just a minute ago…
Floofmedy(floofinition) – Humorous events or activities involving animals.
In use: “The early surge in videos and information on the web was fueled by floofmedy as people shared stories about animals stealing food, swimming in pools, and sleeping in strange places or unusual postures.”
Lumberfloof(floofinition) – 1. Animal who moves in a clumsy, awkward way.
In use: “As kittens, the polydactyl orange tabbies were lumberfloof, tripping over their paw and belly-flopping when attempting jumps, but they soon were agile little speedsters, jumping with Olympian grace and skill.”
2. Animal who climbs trees.
In use: “Many animals are natural lumbefloofs, but Jack the Beagle proved to be one, too, surprising everyone — especially the squirrels.”
Friday’s sunrise at 7:15 AM was like riding in a Yugo: a limp journey. The Yugo sun seemed gray on this Friday of October 10, 2021, gray as his thoughts. Alexa informed him that the area humidity was ninety-one percent but that no rain was expected. Cloudy gloominess was just the valley’s mood. It suited him. He was gloomy because the cats had indulged in intense floofgames. The games had disrupted his sleep. He didn’t feel rested. Maybe the sky was like that — unrested and tired.
Sunset is expected at 6:41 PM. With a temperature perking up from 39 to 48 on his way to a weak 60 degrees F, he wasn’t expecting much of the day. Maybe coffee would help. Couldn’t hurt.
An old Paul Simon song occupied his morning mental music stream. Using ‘old’ amused him. What is old to one because it’s very familiar is fresh and new to another. That’s how ‘old’ music kept acquiring new fans.
This song was called “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”. Came out in 1975. Yeah, he remembered that. First year in the military. Year his spouse graduated high school. She’d been in his dreams. So had the cats. They were a confused miasma. Also involved looking for clothes. Recurring tropes.
As he thought about the dreams, clumping about in a sullen manner, the cats sang for their food. Simon’s song morphed into “50 Ways to Feed Your Kitty”. Just open a can, Sam. Give ’em a treat, um…Meat. Pour out kibble, Sybil. Just give ’em some food.
Stay positive, he told himself, mentally snorting with mental derision. Test negative — yeah, fingers crossed, always. Wear a mask. Uh-huh. And get the vax. Well, he’d done that. Waiting on word for the booster.
The coffee had arrived. He sat back to listen to the music and stare at the cloud. Where is the sun, he wondered. Where is the sun?
Floofpunction(floofinition) – The need to act to help an animal, often driven by principles, morality, a sense of justice, anxiety, or guilt.
In use: ‘She spotted a tiny object on the highway shoulder. Even as she flew past at fifty miles an hour, beginning to brake, turning to see what that was, she realized it was a puppy. Slamming on the brakes, jerking her SUV onto the shoulder, floofpunction caused her to run back, pick up the poor animal and whisper as she held it, “I will take care of you.”‘
I often start the day with a scan of the news provided by the nattering nabobs of negativism. Agnew coined the phrase. Remember it well because I heard it on the news and then Mrs Rubenstein discussed it in current events the next day.
Today is Thursday, or Thor’s Day, as we call it — don’t want to offend any Gods — October 7, 2021. Just a month until we set our clocks back in most of the U.S. Speaking of that, today’s sunrise percolated in with bright sunshine but little warmth at 7:14 AM. The sun’s presence will be stolen away from our valley by the forces of nature at 6:42 PM. A heady 38 F last night, prompting the cats to declare that they’re coming inside and staying. Good sleep was enjoyed all around. Up to 48 F now. Today’s high is a mild 66 F. Surprising me yesterday, we didn’t even break 60. I’m thinking that it’s time to break out my long pants and put away my shorts.
And, yes, today’s theme music was cat inspired. The three floofketeers were clamoring for their AM wet food. I was asking them, “Are you hungry? Want canned cat food?” Teasing them, you know. And they were responding, “Yes, damn it, will you feed us already?”
I then responded, “Love is all you need.” To which they replied, “Enough with the bull. Open the can, capisce?” By then, Simple Minds had flooded the morning mental music stream with “Sanctify Yourself” from 1986.
Control yourself, love is all you need Control yourself, in your eyes Sanctify yourself, sanctify Be apart of me, sanctify Sanctify yourself, sanctify Sanctify yourself, set yourself free
A fun video from a different era. Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the vax, yeah? I’m having coffee, as well. Here’s the music. Cheers
Melfloofdic(floofinition) – Sounds created/made by animals which sound like music. Songbirds by nature are melfloofdic, but other animals’ sounds can also be characterized as melfloofdic. As with much music, the results are dependent can be dependent on the listener.
In use: “The Beagles raised their voices and howled, a melfloofdic explosion of their interaction with the world that brought chills to Iris’s arms and wonder to her mind, what do those dogs know?”
Mefloofiate(floofinition) – To negotiate an acceptable position between several animals or humans and animals via a third party. Pet owners often end up attempting mefloofiation with their pets regarding how often treats are given, what pets are permitted to do, where it’s acceptable for them to sleep, and so forth.
In use: “Lara attempted several times to mefloofiate acceptable places for her dog to sleep and permissible activities with her husband as the arbitrator, but the dog still slept where he wanted, kept taking umbrage at the squirrels (and barking to make his position known), and stealing her shoes (just hers, damn it!), so she finally gave up.”
Michael Seidel, writer 