Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floof Bush (floofinition) – A plant where an animal likes to sleep or sit. Note: not to be confused with floofbush.
In use: “The middle poplar (of three) was the backyard floof bush, a space on a little hillock where the yard could be surveyed, sunshine swept in past leaves, and breezes kept whatever creature residing there from getting too hot.”
Horofloof (floofinition) – Animal’s sense of time, ability to maintain a schedule, and their associated method of tracking time.
In use: “Humans are often amazed by their pet’s horofloof, especially when dogs go to the door to greet their returning people. Scientists speculate that this might be because dogs note that their people’s smell has faded. Animals, however, know that as an amusing theory; their minds are attuned to the cosmic view that lets them see beyond the immediate moment.”
It’s snowing again! That’s pretty unusual for us in Ashland. This whole situation is unusual. We generally don’t receive so much snow. When we do, we all remember it. And, usually when snow is received like this, the sun bursts out of cover and melts it all away. That the snow has lingered, that it’s snowed multiple days, that the temperatures are staying on the cold side, are all departures from the norm.
Today is Friday, the final day of 2021, December 31. The temperature is 33 degrees so the snow isn’t staying. Just landing on top of old stuff, covering the street, then melting away, even as more snow falls. I guess this is technically snow flurries or snow showers.
Sunrise was a gray affair at 7:40 AM. We’ll lose our graylight at 4:49 PM.
A 1980 Judas Priest song, “Living After Midnight”, is playing in the morning mental music stream. This was a gift from the cats. One decided to imitate Paul Revere’s midnight ride and gallop around the house. The other cats were instantly concerned about this energetic burst. Checking the time, I saw it was just after one AM. That triggered the line, “I took the city ’bout one a.m. Loaded. Loaded.” The lines were changed to reflect the moment: “I took the house ’bout one a.m. Meowing. Meowing. The weird thing about this song is it never sounds like Judas Priest to me. Seems too pop. But it’s a good song for New Year’s Eve, innit? Yes! Happy New Year’s. See you after midnight. See who’s still rocking besides the cats.
Stay positive, test negative. Wear a mask as needed, avoid cruise ships, and get the jabs and coffee when you can. I got my jabs. Now I’m gonna get my coffee. Cheers from the snowside.
Prefloofpitation (floofinition) – Moisture thrown off by an animal.
In use: “Coming in from outside with a snow covered back, the dog shook, filling the room with prefloofpitation.”
Door Floof (floofinition) – Animal obsessed with doors.
In use: “Tucker could not stand a closed door. Pantry, front, closet, the door floof liked to stand beside whatever closed door he encountered and demand the door be opened for him to look within. What humans didn’t understand was that he was checking for invaders from other dimensions. He didn’t want to do it, but it was his duty.”
Libflooftarian (floofinition) 1. Animal who enjoys minimum supervision, rules, or intervention by others.
In use: “Many cats are natural libflooftarians, eschewing assistance and ignoring rules, going wherever they want, doing whatever they wish.”
2. Movement which upholds maximum freedom for animals.
In use: “Libflooftarians stand against caged chickens, pigs, and cows, applauding such laws Proposition 12 passed in California in 2018, which requires animals be given enough space to stand and turn around, as a first decent step.”
Schrödinger’s Floof (floofinition) – A pet who may or may not hear their name being called and who may or may not respond.
In use: “Every cat he ever had seemed to be Schrödinger’s floof, but that never deterred him from walking around shouting their name, although it did exasperate him and cause him to swear.”
Floofnosticate (floofinition) – An animal’s ability to foretell events.
In use: “When the cat jumped up on the counter and began stalking items, the dog sat up with a soft, “Ruff,” and watched in amusement, floofnosticating that the cat was going to knock things over and get into trouble.”
Floofstare (floofinition) – Intense gazing done by an animal to draw attention and to make others do their bidding. Floofstares can be enhanced by longing, such as a need for a treat or some attention, or emotions, such as anger because their food bowl is partially empty.
In use: “He was busy typing but the ginger boi settled in the office door and focused a floofstare on him. As time went on and the power intensified, he had no choice but to go do what the cat wanted because he could no longer endure the floofstare.”
It’s either the start or the end but it seems like the middle, too, because there’s never a pause. The days keep coming and going.
Today’s visitor is Sunday, December 19, 2021. Weather here is blustery, my friends, with bloated clouds puffing up their white chests and declaring, “Maybe I’ll rain. Who knows? Depends on how I feel.” The temperature is climbing the incline toward a high of 47 F. After trudging since sunup at 7:35 AM, it’s reached 46. Should manage 47 by sunset at 4:41 PM, donchathink?
That holds one of the period’s more interesting aspects for me. Sunrise continues getting later, minute by minute. But sunset had a pause, and now is slowly scaling back. Of course, we’re coming to that symbolic day when it’s the shortest of the year up north and longest of the year down south. Call it symbolic because your days may vary.
I’m in a funk again. Never a merry person at the yearly holidays — they want to socialize, and I’m not adept at the s thing — it adds stress, you know? — and I like my routines — a myriad of minor issues has sprouted to layer more stress and frustration. Lay this all on top of COVID restrictions and I’m as happy as a clam on warm cement road: not where I desire to be. So, today’s morning music mental stream occupant — the MMMSO, pronounced meso, if you’re tracking at home — is a 1966 Cream song, “I Feel Free”. Yes, this is a redundant theme song offering. Was just used on a Friday in March of 2021, when the sun rose at 7:06 AM and set at 7:30 PM. So, sue me. Or turn the page. Swipe right. Click away. (“Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and click away…”) But it’s special circumstances, innit? Motivation music to break out of the encumbrances levied on us by season, situation, and strife.
Stay positive, test negative, and be circumspect, as Doctor Fauci suggests — weigh the risks, wear masks as needed, and get the vaccine and booster when ye can. I’m off on a coffee quest. It’ll take me far away from here, all the way into the kitchen, almost twenty-two feet as the cats jog. Here’s the music. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 