Flooftender (floofinition) – a housepet who lays claim to head pet throne who is held to have no just title.
In use: “The new cat thought she’d make herself queen, but the established calico soon taught the flooftender her place.”
Mettlefloof
Mettlefloof (floofinition) – a spirited housepet; a housepet full of vigor and stamina.
In use: “The household was used to quiet, dignified pets. The new mettlefloof of a lab puppy was anything but quiet and dignified, shaking it up with gallops around the house, invitations to wrestle, and eating any food found anywhere.”
Dutifloof
Dutifloof (floofinition) – conscientiously or obediently fulfilling one’s duty to their pets; a housepet who remains loyal and conscientious toward others.
In use: “She had a meager income, but she was dutifloof, ensuring that her miniature collies had the best foods and medical treatment possible. They were her best friends and a comforting presence. Making them happy and keeping them safe made her happy.”
Floofloaf
Floofloaf (floofinition) – a housepet that resembles a rolled up towel or a loaf of bread; a healthy pet that prefers not to move around, but lazes in one spot; a person who doesn’t change positions because a pet is on them.
In use: “He’d been a young fighter when they’d brought the orange kitten into the house but within a year, he became a floofloaf who enjoyed nothing more than a good nap, a warm lap, and a bit of kibble a few times a day.”
Overfloof
Overfloof (floofinition) – in households with more than one pet, the pet that usually keeps order (if there is any order).
In use: “In a household of two Beagles, one German Shepherd, and one Jack Russell along with four cats (and a hamster), a bird was the overfloof. Able to mimic the doorbell, garbage truck, and vacuum cleaner along with the sound of crinkling plastic and their masters’ voices, the bird kept the animals in a wary but peaceful vigil.”
Floofvana
Floofvana (floofinition) – in floofism, a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, because one is with their housepets, and the world feels as perfect as it can be, at least for a moment.
In use: “Tired from working and cleaning the house, and running around on errands, she sat down on the couch. The Corgi and cat soon joined her, making room for themselves and each other on her lap. With one purring and both looking drowsy, she soon entered floofvana. Everyone should have pets, she thought. It would make the world a better place if they did.”
Floofxiety
Floofxiety (floofinition) – worrying about a housepet; a housepet’s worry about a noise, activity, or another animal.
In use: “He was on vacation, staying at a lovely beach house, but floofxiety flooded him when he heard about a wildfire near his town. He didn’t care if he lost his house or its contents. He just wanted to ensure his cats and dogs were safe.”
Floofgry
Floofgry (floofintion) – a hungry, drowsy look that housepets use when they’ve been asleep and are awakened by the sound of an opening container.
In use: “Hearing him open a new package of toilet paper, the small orange tabby raised his head and favored him with a floofgry look.”
Quadrafloof
Quadrafloof (floofinition) – surrounded by four housepets.
In use: “Quadrafloof was the normal situation when he and his wife settled down in the evening. The cats took the laps, the dog took an end, and the bird took a shoulder. Then, eating popcorn and watching a movie was the standard practice until the popcorn was gone, all were asleep, and the television went on with its broadcasting.”
Foot-floof
Foot-floof (floofinition) – a housepet who likes to sit or lay on someone’s foot or feet as part of their expression of affection.
In use: “He didn’t know where and how they’d learn it but whenever he stopped, the dog sat on one foot and the cat sat on the other, rendering it impossible to ignore them. He believed that was the plan. They never got on his lap; they always were on a foot, originating their nickname, the foot-floofs.”
Michael Seidel, writer 