Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Moo-floof (catfinition) – cat whose meow sounds like a cow bellowing, “Moo”; cat whose markings bring a cow to mind.
In use: “”Moo,” he heard, and looking back, saw a small white-chested tabby energetically pursuing him. “Moo,” the cat repeated, its mouth opened wide. “Moo.””
Connectcat (catfinition) – comprehensive map of a cat’s location in an area via the traces and objects left behind.
In use: “Fur on a chair, a toy mouse under the table, and bags of treats began creating the foundation of the connectcat, which developed a story about where the housecats liked to go and do.”
Kittenstompen (catfinition) (German) – the forceful application of paws to a human’s kidneys or other vulnerable anatomy.
In use: “He said, “Sometimes, in the early morning, a cat decides that I don’t need any more sleep, and then there’s what German-speaking housecats call kittenstompen, which is the forceful application of paws to a human’s kidneys or other vulnerable anatomy.””
h/t to Thomas Weaver, North of Andover
Infloofnia (catfinition) – inability to sleep because of the activity of one or more cats.
In use: “Although he was tired, infloofnia struck as the cats took turns scratching at the door to get in and out, a desire on their part that infuriated him because he knew they wouldn’t want to stay out in that bad weather. Yet, they needed to go out repeatedly, like the weather may have changed in the five minutes since they’d last come in.”
Quinn was all excited, accosting me as I stepped out of the shower. “I have a new song,” he said. “I’ve written the lyrics. Let me sing them to you.”
WAKE UP!
I wannawanna wannawanna
wannawanna
I wannawanna wannawanna
wannawanna
I wannawanna wannawanna
eat now eat now eat now!
“Then it repeats,” Quinn said. “I’ll get T.C. to do a screaming guitar bridge. I call it “Blue Cat @4AM”. It’s a new sound I’m exploring that I call speed floof.”
My cats have started a musical band. They called themselves T.C. and the Backyard Boys.
T.C. is Tucker Cat. Black and white, he plays lead guitar and shares lead vocals with Quinn the black paws. Quinn is the brooding genius who writes their material. Their favorite songs are “Catch the Mouse”, “Watch the Birds”, “What’s that Noise”, and “You Want to Fight”.
Quinn plays the rhythm guitar, too, while Boo is on drums and Papi is the orange cat on the keyboards who also plays bass. Papi and Boo provide backing vocals, too.
Boo – no photo available.
Playing only at night, they call their music floof rock. It sounds like caterwauling to me.
Catphorism (catfinition) – a feline adage.
In use: “‘First floofspressions can be misleading’ is a catphorism often applied to Persian and Himalaya cats because of their naturally severe looking floofspressions.”
h/t to mydangblog
Floofpression (catfinition) – the look on a cat’s face.
In use: “Catologists agree that a cat’s floofpression can reveal it’s mood and intentions, whether it’s love, contentment, curiosity, or getting ready to attack.”
Fanfloofulous (catfintion) – an extraordinary cat; a cat of mythic abilities; resembling or referring to a cat in fables.
In use: “The Siamese’s ability to consistently climb up three floors on the side of a brick apartment building to reach her balcony and go inside lifted descriptions of Pearl from amazing to fanfloofulous.”
Remember, the first rule of Cat Club is, don’t step on, lay on, or sit on the cats.
The second rule of Cat Club is, keep the cats fed.
The third rule of Cat Club is, don’t sniff anything that you pick up from the floor. Just get rid of it and wash your hands.
Michael Seidel, writer 