Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Cordnivore (catfinition) – a cat (or dog) that likes to eat electric and speaker cords.
In use: “Brad was shocked and dismayed when he went to turn on his phone and saw what his cat had done. The little cordnivore had chewed through every cord at the charging station. Nothing was fully charged.”
Boofloof (catfinition) – cat who likes to hide, and then spring out and surprise people; cat who enjoys playing hide and seek with people. The expression is sometimes used to refer to a dog with similar traits.
In use: “The kitten developed into a boofloof. When he ducked behind the sofa, the cat would race around it, leap at him, and then gallop away and hide behind a plant, waiting to be found.”
Bookfloof (catfinition) – a cat or dog who likes to mark books by rubbing their chin or head against them.
In use: “As he was reading, Quinn jumped upon his lap. A well-known bookfloof, he preceded to mark the edges of A Gentleman in Moscow.”
Floofalong (catfinition) – a cat or dog that persistently follows another’s lead, often annoying the one that they’re following.
In use: “The black cat played floofalong, imitating everything the big tom did, annoying the tom, which he demonstrated with tail swishes.”
Deconfloofing (catfinition) – the vain attempt to remove cat or dog hair from clothes, furniture, food, and other surfaces.
In use: “She spent twenty minutes deconfloofing, first with her fingers and then with a lint roller, but when she was in the sunshine in the car, she saw with miserable resignation that cat fur still covered her black pants.”
Flooftourage (catfinition) – a group, or clowder, of cats following a person.
In use: “Wherever he went – kitchen, office, bathroom, garage – the flooftourage was with him, as though his daily activities – making coffee, reading email, using the toilet, getting frozen berries from the freezer – were fresh amazements.”
Flooftch (catfinition) – stretching out in repose with all limbs extended in a flat position, giving an appearance of being melted down and pooled on the ground, generally done when a cat is very relaxed, warm, or both.
In use: “With the temperature reaching over one hundred degrees for a third day, the cats all flootched and napped. It looked so comfortable that he threw himself on the bed under an air-conditioning vent and flooftched as well.”
Deflooftarized Zone (catfinition)- the areas of a house, typically including counters and tables, where cats are not permitted; the space between cats that they maintain to spy upon one another.
In use: “Establishing a triangle with their bodies as the angles, the ginger, tuxedo, and black cat with a white diamond watched one another. Only the mellow little black-pawed long-haired cat passed through the deflooftarized zone.”
Does anyone else get annoyed with their cat because they hear you fart out loud and act like, “OMG, what was THAT?”
I’m asking for a friend. She says it happens to her all the time.
Floofalert (catfinition) – the sound that a cat makes, warning you that something is about to happen. Floofalerts are categorized in related activities, such as puking, fighting, and tearing up the house.
In use: “He’d heard a sound. Stilling, he sat up straight. Yes, a floofalert! One of the cats was puking. It sounded nearby.
“Putting his head down, he closed his eyes. He’d need to be careful and watch where he stepped when he got up in the morning.
“And then he realized that he had to pee.”
Michael Seidel, writer 