Haifloof (floofinition) – an unrhymed verse form about housepets, typically with three lines containing five, seven, and five lines.
In use:
Counterproflooftive
Counterproflooftive (floofinition) – actions people take to prevent or inhibit housepet’s activities or behavior.
In use: “Doors were closed to the cats and dogs, counterproflooftive measures to keep the toilet paper intact, keep animals from drinking toilet water, and keep the house clean. It was marginally effective.”
Cofloofinute
Cofloofinute (floofinition) – reduction of something to small particles by a housepet.
In use: “He was a sweet but young Dutch Shepherd, and quickly demonstrated that he could cofloofinute the mail into confetti as it came through the slot.”
Floofbelly Elegy
Floofbelly Elegy (floofinition) – collection of memoirs by housepets, the people they lived with, and their values.
In use: “In one chapter of Floofbelly Elegy, a calico named Agent 86 told of how she liked to let people pet her, drop onto the ground and roll on her back, exposing her belly, and then attack people when they tried rubbing her belly.”
Infloofstigate
Infloofstigate (floofinition) – a housepet’s study or observation by close examination and systematic inquiry.
In use: “Whenever the door opened, Capri began to infloofstigate by going to a safe distance, listening and sniffing, and then move closer, listening and sniffing, until she was in touching distance of the visitor. That was only the beginning.”
Floofview
Floofview (floofinition) – a housepet’s range or limit of authority, competence, responsibility, concern, or intention.
In use: “When it comes to floofview, few animals have taken it to Beth’s level. The large German Shepherd believed everything was within her floofview, especially new puppies and kittens who need care and help.”
Floofzing
Floofzing (floofinition) – napping in a semi-somnolent state, with senses alert for intrusions, threats, or someone eating something.
In use: “The floofzing cats’ ears turned when he drew a bag of granola from the cupboard, tuning into the sound as they napped and waiting to see what developed.”
The Road-Show Dream
My wife and I were traveling in a car. I had a sense that we were changing locations, moving to somewhere new, an exciting prospect.
Along the way, we stopped in a town. It was pre-arranged for us to meet with a local musical band. My wife and I were to sing with them that evening. We sat with the musicians and coordinated the set list and discussed when we would arrive and what else was required for our performance. Part of the latter entailed doing more work, including find the song lyrics to several songs.
After that, we had time to kill, so we first went around the town a bit, just being tourists, and then got something to eat. Our big black and white cat, Tucker, was traveling with us, except that he was a furry, fist-sized black and white spider in the dream. He was in a cage but got out. The car door was open. I saw him leaving the car, but I wasn’t positive. Either way, I searched for him, but didn’t find him, and ran out of time.
Our appointment for meeting the group to prepare to perform had arrived. We met with the group at the convention center where we were to perform. Meeting with the band, I stepped back and let others lead. After a few minutes, it seemed to me that they were off track. Everything that’d been discussed was changed. I reminded them of our earlier conversation but they were confused, and seemed unable to remember anything that I said.
That’s where the dream ended.
Carpe floof
Carpe floof (floofinition) – the enjoyment of the pleasures of a housepet without concern for the future.
In use: “Much spring cleaning remained but the cats and dogs’ loving looks inspired a carpe floof mood, and she found herself with her pets on a chair in the sun, eating a pastry while reading a book.”
Michael Seidel, writer 