Tag: Cat

Floof & the Gang

Floof & the Gang (floofinition) – American floof music band formed in 1964 in Floof Jersey. Working through multiple line-ups, Floof & the Gang began as The Ark Project, an inside joke derived from the number of animal species who played in the band. Once the lineuo stabilized, the band developed a floof funk (flunk) floof-hop sound that found an audience in the early seventies.

In use: “Creating, recording, and releasing songs such as “Ladies’ Floof”, “Jump Up On It”, “Jungle Floofie”, and “Floofanna”, Floof & the Gang made an infloofible mark on the floof music scene.”

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Floofvict

Floofvict (floofinition) – 1. Expel an animal from a location, especially a pet.

In use: “When he went to his office to work he had to floofvict a cat from his keyboard and a dog from his chair.”

2. Declare an animal to be guilty of an offense according to the house rules.

In use: “Fur on the counter was the evidence. “Harley,” she said, turning on the cat. “You were on the counter. The cat returned on innocent gaze. “Fur.” She swiped her fingers across the surface and held them up in the ginger’s direction. “Floofvicted.” Marching over, she said, “You will be punished with hugs and kisses.” Picking him up, she began kissing his head with loud noises. Though Harley her swatted once, he closed his eyes and purred.”

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Visiting With My Cats

I visit with my cats several times a day. They demand. Scratches are required. I’m either going to give them, or I’m going to get them. I better do it right, too.

Tucker is the house alpha cat. A street rescue who was probably left behind when his people moved, he used to love fighting the other cats and imposing his will. Remembering this, they’re now wary of him in the same way that Americans are wary of Russians because they used to be the Soviets.

The Soviets would be a good name for a punk band.

Tucker has changed, though. The others don’t realize it. Tucker has come to understand that I disapprove of him stalking and ambushing the others, so he’s stopped. I know because I watch. The other cats don’t know he’s there. He gives them a look, but then I see him reining himself in.

The three boys are interesting regarding people. Whatever their pasts (all are rescues), Boo and Papi (aka Meep) want nothing to do with anyone except my wife and me. People come to the front door, they go out the pet door in the back. When a Zoom call takes place, those two shake their heads. “Nope. Too many people. I don’t know who they are, and I don’t want to find out.” Out they go. The fact they can’t see the people seems to make it worse.

“Invisible people,” they say. “Who needs that?”

Tucker, though, makes the rounds. “Hello, hi, hey, how you doing?” He joins the Zoom sessions like he’s been invited by name.

All three love it when a cupboard or closet door opens. Eyes on one another, they hurry over to peer in. “Is it Narnia? No? Where’s it go? Is there anything to eat?”

Although they love being my shadow (Tucker is right beside my laptop right now), they usually sleep through the day. They often change positions and locations. Being a doting floof father, I check on them. Sometimes their sleep seems so deep that I worry, “Are they alive?” I watch for breathing, then an ear moves, and I’m reassured. If I’m really worried, I open a can of food.

That always wakes them.

 

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Exflooferbate

Exflooferbate (floofinition) – To have a situation worsen or a problem complicated by the presence or behavior of animals.

In use: “Her day was already scrambled beyond her limits when the cat exflooferbated it by bringing in a live robin and setting it free in the living room.”

 

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Floof Out

Floof Out (floofinition) – Animal who reacts to another animal with an overly ostentatious display.

In use: “A doe stole into the yard and began nibbling at the grass. Star rose up with an outraged howl and glared through the glass at the interloper. Sighing, Barb said, “Stop the floof out, Star. It’s just a deer.” Then she took a photo of the cat and deer and posted it on Facebook.”

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Floofworthy

Floofworthy (floofinition) – An entity that’s deserving to be associated with or be the companion to an animal.

In use: “As humans and animals develop greater appreciation for one another, animals are beginning to think that some humans are floofworthy, and are reaching out to people in new and touching ways.”

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Floof in Chains

Floof in Chains (floofinition) – American flock rock (flock) band formed in Seattle in the late 1980s. Initially identified with stray music, the band rose to international fame and then gained commercial success.

In use: “Sometimes shortened to FIC, Floof in Chains scored it first major hit with “Flooster”, a song the vocalist wrote about his father.”

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Floofpetus

Floofpetus (floofinition) – The driving force provided by an animal, particularly a pet.

In use: “She didn’t feel tired at all, or ready to go to bed (probably because of that piece of triple chocolate black forest cake (she shouldn’t’ve, but it was so delish) or that cup of coffee (decaf, but even it seemed to energize her), but her cat was a stickler for routine, so under the meowing floofpetus, she went to bed.

 

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