Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofhat (floofinition) – Formed in London, Floofland in 1971, Floofhat is a floof rock (flock) band noted for incorporating the slide guitar in their songs. Initially active until 1984, the band took a floofatus before regrouping in 1993. They remain active to this day.
In use: “The 1975 Floofhat song, “Slow Floof”, from their album Fool for the Kibble, broke into the top twenty in Canfloofda and Floofmerica.”
Floofventory (floofinition) – An animal’s wary assessment of a situation.
In use: “Sitting down, the stray dog conducted a floofventory of the person calling him and the outstretched hand offering food, and then carefully approached and accepted the meal.”
Floofhaste (floofinition) – Alt spellings: Floof haste, floof-haste. Focused, concentrated activity by an animal exercising all possible speed.
In use: “Wind whipped through the yard, sending the grill cover flying and launching the cats and dogs floofhaste into the house.”
A snake in a bag was included, and a cat, along with crystal stemware and stairs. Oh, and Matthew McConaughey. It ended with music.
I’d arrived, alone, at a large conference center, one of those mega places, part mall, part hotel and restaurants, and offices. A clean and busy place, I was there to do some work on my own.
Walking along the main corridor, I spotted a young woman in a large island shop. All glass, she had it fenced off on all sides, and the top. As I came closer, I realized it was because she had a black and white cat with her, and her arrangements were to keep the cat in.
I struck a benign conversation up with her and petted her cat, then continued on. Veering to one side, I entered a place loaded with tables. Finding an empty one, I unpacked my gear and set to work.
An attractive woman on one side began flirting with me. She was young, with blonde hair. An equally attractive young brunette woman on my other side then engaged me.
That put me on a high cloud, to be flirted with in that way. I reciprocated, then checked the time and decided I’d worked enough. Standing and packing my gear, I saw myself in a mirror. My appearance pleased me.
Saying bye to the women, I wondered around the bright, clean complex. Busy, nothing of interest drew my attention so I drifted back the other day.
A large canvas bag was thrown out in front of me. As I went around it, I realized it was holed, and then saw a large and angry snake was inside it. After watching for some seconds, I clarified that it was a large and angry rattlesnake, and it was trying to get out.
I worried about the young woman and her cat. Going to her, I told her about the snake. She decided she’d close and leave, to protect her cat.
I’d decided to leave. Shouldering my backpack with a glance back toward the bag with the snake (it may have escaped, I thought), I went down the stairs.
A stack of crystal stemware blocked the middle of the narrow staircase. Right and left of it were trays of dirty dishes.
It looked like dining tables had been bused, but they’d not taken the dirties away, which pissed me off. I turned around to report this to the receptionist, but she was on the phone.
Well, I wanted to leave. I carefully picked my way through the mess and made it without disturbing anything.
Free. I headed toward the exit.
Matthew McConaughey plowed into me. “Did you know that with one thin dime, you can be a free and wealthy man?”
I kept walking. Matthew was a friend, but I didn’t want to hear this now. “Get away from me, Matthew. I’m not interested.” He held up a dime.
“Not interested.” He walked with me. “I’m talking about a great opportunity. Do you have one thin dime, Michael?”
At that moment, I heard music on the loudspeaker and stopped. “Listen.”
“To what am I listening?” Matthew asked.
“The music. Recognize it?”
“I do not.”
“It sounds like the beginning of Deep Purple doing “Highway Star'” on their live album.”
“I don’t know it.”
Matthew’s response amazed me. “You don’t know it?”
The music began, and I was right about the song.
The dream ended.
Floofrogative (floofinition) – An exclusive or special privilege, power, or right that an animal believes it has.
In use: “It’s an Internet fact that in most households with pets, the animals assume the floofrogative to sleep anywhere they want, despite human protests and commands.”
Fifloofa Apple (floofinition) – Eight-time Floofie Award nominee, Fifloofa Apple is a floof rock (flock) and pop singer, songwriter, and poet. Born in Floof York, she spent time in her childhood in both Floof York and Floof Angeles.
In use: “Fifloofa Apple’s 1997 song, “Floof Criminal”, charted well and won a Floofie Award for best vocal performance by a female.”
Smash Floof (floofinition) – Floofmerican floof rock (flock)/pop group formed in San Jose, Califloofia, in 1994, eventually becoming noted for their retro style as the released covers of others’ popular songs.
In use: “One of Smash Floof’s early big hits was “Nappin’ in the Sun”, which went to number one on Floofboard Modern Rock Tracks in 1997.”
Now I lay me down to sleep,
move your toes, I’ll attack your feet.
If I awaken before the sun,
it means my work wasn’t done.
And if I’m bored while your eyes are closed,
I’ll nip your chin and bite your nose.
Coxsfloof (floofinition) – Animal who has charge of others, especially pets in charge of people or other pets.
In use: “The cat, Petty, was the youngest, newest, and smallest household member, but she’d become the coxsfloof within a week of her arrival, mesmerizing the dogs, humans, and bird.”
Orcfloofstrate (floofinition) – A surreptitious or covert arrangement by an animal to establish a desired outcome.
In use: “Housepets often quickly recognize how to manipulate their owners by orcfloofstrating sympathy and pity with their eyes.”
Michael Seidel, writer 