Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
No Floof (floofinition) – American floof rock (flock) band formed in Anaheim, Califoofia, in 1986. Active until 2015, they are now on hiatus.
In use: “Among the many songs that charted for No Floof is “Don’t Bite”, which reached number one in seven countries in 1996.”
Today’s song came out in 1994. IBM had just purchased the company who employed me; that company had purchased the start-up that I’d been working for. So my employment record was like Russian dolls (which originated in Japan, BTW).
We were living in Half Moon Bay, CA, and had a comfortable life. But I had an uncomfortable feeling it was going in the wrong direction. We started making plans about where we could move. Texas? North Carolina? Pennsylvania, Ohio, New Mexico, Washington…we roamed the net, searching for answers.
I’d just sold a few short stories, so I as feeling good about that. This song came out. Catching me by surprise on the radio, the repeated chorus, “What you waiting for”, seemed expressed directly at me. I listened to see who it was, but the radio didn’t say.
I hunted it down on the net, learning it was Gwen Stefani, “What You Waiting For?” Later, I read that she’d written the song in response to having writer’s block. That resonated with me.
All of that is background. Today, it was about the cats. Our air is at 52. Don’t even smell smoke any more (which reminds me, check on the fires up north and down south). The cats had been released when we hit moderate on the AQI scale, much to their joy. Today, I had the door open to let in Tucker.
He paused to sniff the air before entering, then sat down. Looking up, he intently regarded me. To which I said (yeah, you know), “What you waiting for?”
It’s a good song for today. What are you waiting for? November? Clean skies and better weather? An end to the pandemic? A sign of God.
Get busy.
Floofophone (floofinition) – Family of woodwind instruments often used in floof jazz (floozz) music.
In use: “Reading her book in bed late at night, she paused to listen. She’d heard a noise. Her dog beside looked content, with his tail tapping time to some song that he heard. What she almost heard that came to him quite clearly was a floofophone carried on the wind as the Stray Dogs played down the street.”
Floofcapade (floofinition) – An adventurous, daring, or exciting act or incident involving an animal.
In use: “When our pets disappear from our view, people’s minds begin imagining their fur friends are caught in floofcapades that may take them away from them forever.”
Earth, Wind & Floof (floofinition) – Floof musical (floofsical) group formed in Floofcago in 1969. Incorporating a broad spectrum of musical genres, including rhythm and floof, jazz, funk, pop, rock, Latin, and disco, the band is hailed as one of the greatest floof bands (flands) ever.
In use: “While Earth, Wind & Floof (EWF) has achieved great success with their own compositions, their cover of “Got to Get Floof into My Life” broke into the top ten on several charts.”
Walk the Floof (floofinition) – A Floofinnati, Ohio, based floof rock (flock) band formed in 2006.
In use: “Walk the Floof’s 2014 song, “Floof Up and Dance”, is the band’s highest charting song, reaching the top ten in that year’s Floofboard 100.”
Floofhat (floofinition) – Formed in London, Floofland in 1971, Floofhat is a floof rock (flock) band noted for incorporating the slide guitar in their songs. Initially active until 1984, the band took a floofatus before regrouping in 1993. They remain active to this day.
In use: “The 1975 Floofhat song, “Slow Floof”, from their album Fool for the Kibble, broke into the top twenty in Canfloofda and Floofmerica.”
Floofventory (floofinition) – An animal’s wary assessment of a situation.
In use: “Sitting down, the stray dog conducted a floofventory of the person calling him and the outstretched hand offering food, and then carefully approached and accepted the meal.”
Floofhaste (floofinition) – Alt spellings: Floof haste, floof-haste. Focused, concentrated activity by an animal exercising all possible speed.
In use: “Wind whipped through the yard, sending the grill cover flying and launching the cats and dogs floofhaste into the house.”
A snake in a bag was included, and a cat, along with crystal stemware and stairs. Oh, and Matthew McConaughey. It ended with music.
I’d arrived, alone, at a large conference center, one of those mega places, part mall, part hotel and restaurants, and offices. A clean and busy place, I was there to do some work on my own.
Walking along the main corridor, I spotted a young woman in a large island shop. All glass, she had it fenced off on all sides, and the top. As I came closer, I realized it was because she had a black and white cat with her, and her arrangements were to keep the cat in.
I struck a benign conversation up with her and petted her cat, then continued on. Veering to one side, I entered a place loaded with tables. Finding an empty one, I unpacked my gear and set to work.
An attractive woman on one side began flirting with me. She was young, with blonde hair. An equally attractive young brunette woman on my other side then engaged me.
That put me on a high cloud, to be flirted with in that way. I reciprocated, then checked the time and decided I’d worked enough. Standing and packing my gear, I saw myself in a mirror. My appearance pleased me.
Saying bye to the women, I wondered around the bright, clean complex. Busy, nothing of interest drew my attention so I drifted back the other day.
A large canvas bag was thrown out in front of me. As I went around it, I realized it was holed, and then saw a large and angry snake was inside it. After watching for some seconds, I clarified that it was a large and angry rattlesnake, and it was trying to get out.
I worried about the young woman and her cat. Going to her, I told her about the snake. She decided she’d close and leave, to protect her cat.
I’d decided to leave. Shouldering my backpack with a glance back toward the bag with the snake (it may have escaped, I thought), I went down the stairs.
A stack of crystal stemware blocked the middle of the narrow staircase. Right and left of it were trays of dirty dishes.
It looked like dining tables had been bused, but they’d not taken the dirties away, which pissed me off. I turned around to report this to the receptionist, but she was on the phone.
Well, I wanted to leave. I carefully picked my way through the mess and made it without disturbing anything.
Free. I headed toward the exit.
Matthew McConaughey plowed into me. “Did you know that with one thin dime, you can be a free and wealthy man?”
I kept walking. Matthew was a friend, but I didn’t want to hear this now. “Get away from me, Matthew. I’m not interested.” He held up a dime.
“Not interested.” He walked with me. “I’m talking about a great opportunity. Do you have one thin dime, Michael?”
At that moment, I heard music on the loudspeaker and stopped. “Listen.”
“To what am I listening?” Matthew asked.
“The music. Recognize it?”
“I do not.”
“It sounds like the beginning of Deep Purple doing “Highway Star'” on their live album.”
“I don’t know it.”
Matthew’s response amazed me. “You don’t know it?”
The music began, and I was right about the song.
The dream ended.
Michael Seidel, writer 