Floofsumptive

Floofsumptive (floofinition) 1. Descriptor for an animal’s approach who assumes they are the apex resident in a household. First noted use circa 1970, New York, USA.

In Use: “Closed doors impinged Queen Champ’s floofsumptive foundation that something must be happening on the other side. This was her empire and announced her displeasure with loud caterwauling and scratching.”

2. An animal which takes for granted that they are authorized to go anywhere, do anything, and eat everything. Origins: 1740 colonial America.

In Use: “As soon as food was set down, Sheldon made a presumptive claim with his chompers, no matter the food group.”

3. A belief that animal’s movements, activities, or behavior is expected and predictable. Origins: AOL, late 1990s.

In Use: “Following a floofsumptive bias, Kelly expected Hannibal to trot out and greet her, but the little pup was nowhere in sight, inducing floofxiety in her that something had happened to him.”

Floof-adjacent

Floof-adjacent (floofinition) – Compliment among floofs that someone or something is almost as good as an animal. Origins: Early nineteenth century United States, esp. New England.

In Use: “The cats declared of their person, Jill, ‘The way she respects our needs, honors our rights, and keeps us well-groomed and fed, she’s as floof-adjacent as we can find among humans, so I say we keep her.'”

Recent Use: “The big ol’ house dog, Charleston, told the new foster kittens, ‘Look here, Richard is about as floof-adjacent as you’ll find. Once you have more knowlege about the people world, you’ll come to realize how fortunate you are.'”

Filopolus

Filopolus (floofinition) – An animal who loves people. Origins: early 1900s, USA

In Use: “Eva was a popular filopolus, visiting with every and any person she encountered, but she was a misfloofynist when it came to animals.”

Floofgom

Floofgom (floofinition) – Floofish word that roughly translates to ‘just enough’ or ‘good balance’.

In use: “For many cats, when floofgom is reached when their belly is being rubbed, they will immediately announce, ‘That’s enough’, often by love bites or some quick claw action.”

Flooping

Flooping (floofinition) – To follow an animal or to repeatedly circle back to an animal to check on its health or to play with it.

In use: “He was supposed to leae for work at 7, but his dog was sick, so he called in sick, staying home and flooping back throughout the morning to his pet to see how she was doing.”

Edfloofcation

Edfloofcation (floofinition) – 1. Process of learning and understanding specific animals.

In use: “Once a new animal joins a household, humans and the resifloofs go through edfloofcation about the newcomer, as the newcomer does the same, sniffing and testing boundaries, adjusting to the sounds and patterns of a new life.”

2. General procedure for spreading and sharing information about animals in order to combat bias against them.

In use: “The net has become an important tool in edfloofcation, as stories about animal courage, love, and intelligence are shared, hopefully dispelling ideas that animals are unthinking and unfeeling creatures, instead firming the foundation that animals deserve the same rights and protections which humans expect for themselves”

Floof Lunge

Floof Lunge (floofinition) 1. An animal’s sudden forward thrust to attack someone or seize something.

In use: “Jack Ryan was the household’s smallest canine, but the Dachshund was a floof lunge master when it came to treats, often gobbling up several of the other animals’ offerings before they even realized it was there!”

2. A person’s sudden attempt to grab an animal.

In use: “They were attempting to capture the cat now called Comet but she was adept at reading animals and always evaded their floof lunges.”

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