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Negoflooate (floofinition) – Conferring with an animal to settle a disagreement or resolve an issue.
In Use: “‘Look,’ Richard negoflooated with his floof, ‘Drink some of this slurry first, and I’ll let you go out into the yard, okay?'”
In Use: “Beginning to negoflooate with her dog, Sharon said, ‘What will it take to get you to stop barking like a mad dog? You want treats? Treats? Okay, then.’ The negoflooations ended with a floofpromise.”
Floobating (floofinition) – Arguing with an animal even though you speak different languages. Origins: Internet, circa COVID-19 Pandemic.
In Use: “Jessie would raise her voice to make her point floofbating with Spanx but it wasI no damn use because the cat would just get even louder until Jess finally gave up.”
In Use: “Many dogs begin floobating and employing nonverbal language whenever their humans suggest showers or baths.”
Floofturbance (floofinition) – 1. The act of an animal interrupting an activity or a state of calm. Origins: 13th century, Flemish Floofish
In Use: “The summer’s peaceful evening broke up with a floofturbance out front as two dogs staged a bark-off.”
In Use: “Knowing it would gain attention they could leverage for what they wanted to get, the three house floofs comenced a floofturbance.”
2. Disrupting an animal’s repose or usual procedure or order.
In Use: “A glass bowl slipped out of Becca’s hands and fell to the floor, shattering with an ear-splitting sound and created a floofturbance which sent the cats and dogs sprinting in four different directions — except for Arnold, who leaped up and emphatically barked, “Woof,” just once.”
Occuflooftion (floofinition) – An activity engaged with an animal. Origins: 14th century French floofish.
In Use: “Derek declared himself as ‘not a cat person’ to his wife but after the kittens came and demonstrated an aggressive and fearless willingness to attack anything, Derek’s primary relaxation at home became an occuflooftion like feeding the cats, playing with them, or napping together.”
In Use: “As Barb aged, she adopted an energetic puppy, and walking him become a time-consuming but enjoyable occuflooftion.”
Humfloofbo (floofinition) – A practice used by animals to help develop relationships with people. Origins: Old Floofish. Modern scholars theorize the word means ‘human-floof-bond’ but no evidence has been brought forward to support that idea.
In Use: “Humfloofbo evidence is experienced by many every day, and cell phones and social media help spread awareness of its existence.”
In Use: “Many young floofs such as kittens or puppies attempt early humfloofbo efforts by nuzzling, licking, or biting humans while elephants will use trunks to stroke people as part of their humfloofbo.”
Floofnomen – The name by which an animal or animals refer to people. Origins: Roman empire.
In Use: “Many people mistakenly believe that cats reduce people to their roles, i.e. can-opener or spare human one, but almost all floofs give human specific floofnomen, although the floofnomen can often translate to things like ‘primary food giver’ and ‘the door man’.”
In Use: “Michael didn’t know it but his floofnomen among his cats was Mrupew, which was like an amusing sound to him, but which translates to ‘warm body person’ in Floofish.”
Winmace (floofinition) – Expression of distaste or disgust displayed by animals when encountering wind.
In Use: “Dodger was never a wind fan, and the big lab would always winmace and bound back into the house whenever breezes began shaking the tree branches.”
In Use: “Winmacing, little Mae moved backward into the house when the wind hit her face.”
Kama Flooftra (floofinition) Ancient book composed by animals displaying positions used to scratch, pet cats, and sleep. Many animals study the kama flooftra in pursuit of living better. Origins: First noted in Mesopatamia in 600 BCE.
In Use: “Dixie was forever surprising her people with the positions they found her but they were unaware that she was a fervent fan of the Kama Flooftra, being totally unaware the book even existed!”
Complefloofrianism (floofinition) – Floofological view that animals have equal but different roles from humans in life. Origins: First used by The International Order of Floofs (TIOF) in 1988.
In Use: “As practitioners of complefloofrianism, Beth’s pets ignored her orders as they’d gotten together and elected one of their own, Beanie, as the house’s ruler, and limited Beth’s roles to cleaning and feeding duties.”
Monufloofal (floofinition) 1. A huge, or ginormous (relative to its species) animal. Origins: late twentieth century Internet.
In Use: “Col Sanders (named for where he was found and rescued but often called Jumbo) was monufloofal, and when he slept with people, he seemed to double in size, rendering laps numb, and taking up all the space wherever he slumbered.”
2. A highly significant or important animal. Origins: early twenty-first century world wide web.
In Use: “Ol’ Jax was an undersized Jack Russell to most people, but Ol’ Jax was a monufloofal aspect of the homeless vet’s street existence.”
Michael Seidel, writer 