Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Crucifloofbalist (floofinition) – An animal, person, or entity skillful in solving problems involving angry or irritated animals. Origins: Flooftin cruci-, crux cross + floof animal+ English -alist (as in verbalist)
In Use: “Just 8-years-old, Megan showed herself to be a natural crucifloofbalist, marching up to the quarreling cats and yelling, “No,” which ended the noisy standoff post haste.”
Floofmaste (floofinition) – Traditional greeting of respect among animals, often accompanied by sniffing butts or touching noses.
In use: “Young animals are often taken aback by older animals offering floofmaste for the first time, but generally quickly grasp the concept as its origins and meanings are explained. Many then try it on humans, who are often amused or delighted.”
Inspired by cats and “Bohemian Rhapsody,” by Queen (and sung to that melody, with the instrumentals). We pick it up about a third of the way in.
I’m just a ginger silhouetto of a cat.
Scalaboosh, scalaboosh, can we give him some kibble?
Thunderbolt and lightning,
His claws are very frightening to me.
Galileo. Galileo.
Galileo. Galileo.
His name’s not Galileo,
Is it Magnifico-ooo-oooo?
Oh, no, no, no, no, NO!
I’m just a ginger cat, nobody loves me,
He’s just a ginger cat, from a ginger litter,
Let him sleep on the bed tonight.
Easy come, easy go,
Let me go back out.
You just came in,
We will not let you out.
Let me out.
We will not let you out.
Let me out.
We will not let you out.
Let me out.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
Oh, Mama Mia, Mama Mia,
Mama Mia, can I keep this cat?
You can’t keep this cat because it’ll be more work for me,
For ME,
For MEEEE!
So you think you can lock me inside?
So you think I won’t run around and cry?
Oh, human,
You can’t do this to me, human.
I just gotta get out,
Just gotta get right
Outta here.
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
I’m just a feline that you must…
Pleeease.
Sorry, Queen.
Michael Seidel, writer 