Tag: cancer

Tuesday’s Theme Music — Where the Hell

Ashland, southern Oregon – Tuesday, October 13, 2026.

Gorgeous, full-throttled autumn day out there. All of nature is actively participating to give us the full fall experience of changing leaves, blue sky, and crisp morning air. We’re going to heat up to 70 today and expect a warming trend for the coming weekend.

Mom is still doing poorly. Mom complained that she was out of pads and feeling a lot of pain urinating, and several other issues. We discovered that she doesn’t tell the assisted living staff any of that, due to her sense of privacy. There are people who can help her with her issues, but she doesn’t tell them she’s having issues, so they don’t offer help.

My sister went over today with new pads and to check on Mom. Found her in the rec room with others. Gina reported that Mom is very lethargic. Mom’s room smelled like urine. Gina has been going back and forth with the assisted living director, Mom, and Mom’s doctors. Gina has also delved more deeply into Mom’s medical records on Mychart.

It’s a busy morning for us. Workmen were expected to arrive and fix the flashing around the bathroom skylight and a few other minor issues on the roof. They were expected between 9 and 10 but didn’t show.

Meanwhile, I’d scheduled the same time for a contractor to come by to inspect the fence and give us assessment about what needs done, if he’ll take the job, and all the details that go with it. He showed on time and that went well. The fence is in pretty good shape overall, with just three posts requiring replacement. He will do those repairs, power wash the fence, and then paint it.

After that, I called the roofers to see what was going on. The other job they were on took longer than planned. They just arrived at 12:30 to begin the work.

My doctor’s office called and told me the Cologuard results were in. My tests were positive, so they’re going to schedule me for some tests and surgery to see if I have colon or other kinds of cancer down there.

My wife is in a cranky mood. She has a nervous disposition and high anxiety and couldn’t sleep last night because of today’s appointments. So it’s one of those if it’s not one thing, it’s another kind of days so far. All in all, it’s still a better life than many others experience. I complain because that’s who I am.

Probably won’t be able to get out and write today, though, which is a bummer. That’s my escape from the insanity, my coping mechanism. I will write at home but it’s not quite the same. For one, I enjoy the coffee shop’s helter skelter energy. Two, when I write at home, my wife often interrupts. She will actually ask, “Can I interrupt you?” Yeah, I’m a curmudgeon of sorts. *smile*

Today’s music is “Where Is My Husband!” This is a 2025 song by Raye. It played on the radio yesterday morning as my wife and I did our food deliveries. I ‘adapted’ it to “Where Is My Congress?” The Neurons like that twist and kept it in the morning mental music stream.

I enjoy the song on its own, though. Here’s the sample lyrics for you.

Sample Lyrics

Baby (whoo-hoo), where the hell is my husband? (Whoo-hoo)
What is taking him so long (whoo-hoo) to find me?
Oh, baby, where the hell is my lover?
Getting down with another? (Whoo-hoo, yeah)
Tell him if you see him, baby, if you see him
Tell him, tell him he should holler

Why is this beautiful man waiting for me to get old?
Why he already testing my patience?
I only fear he’s taking time with other women that ain’t me
While I’ve been reviewing applications

Wait ’til I get my hands on him, I’ma tell him off too
For how long he kept mе waiting, anticipating
Praying to the Lord to give him to my loving arms
And despite my frustrations

He must need me (he must need me) completely (completely)
How my heart yearns for him
Is he far away (is he far away?), is he okay? (Is he okay?)
This man is testing me, uh-huh, uh-huh
Uh, help me, help me, help me, Lord

Of course, yesterday morning, I was singing, “Where the hell is my Congress!” Then I created other lyrics.

May this day find you healthy, peaceful, and ready to vote blue and take the nation back.

Thanks for visiting. Cheers

6

Monday’s Theme Music — Words

Ashland, southern Oregon. Monday, October 5, 2026.

Another summery autumn day was upon us, high 80s, thin clouds, blue sky, sun.

Last night’s dream was a short, weird one. My wife has been blowing her nose a lot yesterday, complaining, “I have one nostril which seems like a leaky faucet.” I ended up dreaming that she was blowing her nose. Her snot was coming out like yellow mustard. I then blew my nose in the dream; my tissue ended up looking like a slice of white bread thickly slathered with yellow mustard. I went into the other room and showed her, saying, “I have what you have.”

Had my first BCG wash today. Wasn’t ‘quite’ like I expected in some ways but was otherwise exactly as I expected.

The BCG wash is why I’m late posting today. Had to be there at 1:40. Doing the math, I needed to leave at 1:10. Before leaving, I wanted a three-hour writing session so that needed to begin at 10:10 AM. Ergo, leave the house by ten, which means getting dressed, getting up, getting routines done, etc.

Other things happening threw off that timing. But I was finally there, preparing for the BCG. One thing I immediately noticed was how different it is in medical offices and dentist offices. At the dentist, they provide a picture for you to look at while things are being done to you. Music is playing.

Not so at the medical offices. It’s all medical function, like you, the patient, are barely considered.

I had a good tech and a good nurse, Nurse Chrissy C, who did my procedure. I was told to strip off my pants and underwear, then sat in a chair. A large paper, like a giant paper towel, was spread across me for modesty. A foot rest was raised and the back was leaned back, kind of like a barber’s chair. Then they pulled the paper back and began doing things to my wee willie winkle.

Hibiclense was employed to wash my genitals. Lidocaine was injected to numb my pecker. Brrrr, cold. The tech left and the nurse entered. She explained that they only get two vials of the almost dead tuberculosis bacilli a week and it must be immediately used once it’s mixed. Each vial can be used for three treatments, so three of us are done in parallel at the same time.

I surmised something like that was going on because two other people were called simultaneously at my appointment time. One of these people was a teenager, and the other was a heavy woman in a wheelchair with one foot in a walking boot.

My narrow urethra cropped up, of course. The foley catheter wasn’t going in. “Breath deep and cough for me,” the nurse ordered, which I did multiple times. I explained about my previous experiences with catheters, my narrow urethra, and the kink that vexes everything partway through it.

She got it in, though, pumped out my urine, and then filled it with the treatment. Then I was free to clean up, dress and leave. “Don’t urinate for one to three hours,” she said. Only problem was I was already ready to go — with a bowel movement. Yikes.

Here we go again with Donald Trump. After trying to change voting by mail and raging that it’s ‘inherently corrupt’, Trump has spun 180 degrees.

Trump urges supporters to vote by mail despite fraud claims

Donald J Trump added a bitter word salad to explain his new position:

“They can vote by mail if they want, because we seem to have no choice because a lot of people want to vote by mail, but a lot of very good people also want to vote in-person. You can do either.”

I had “Word Up” playing in my morning mental music stream after seeing some video about Donald Trump making a speech. After that speech, he did that smug, mind-smothering dance of his. That triggered The Neurons into making a connection with “Word Up”.

Sample Lyrics

Wave your hands in the air
Like you don’t care
Glide by the People as they start to look and stare
Do your dance, do your dance, do your dance quick

And that was the connection between what I saw Trump doing — dancing like he doesn’t care, making his MAGAts laugh because he’s one of them — and the 1986 song by Cameo.

4

Sunday’s Theme Music — Run

Ashland, southern Oregon. Sunday, September, 27, 2026.

A full-fledged fall day here — cool at 63 degrees F, warming to 73 today, with sunshine breaking through cloud blockades.

All quiet with Mom today. My sister, Gina, called Mom to see what was needed and she could help. That seemed to mollify Mom. Not to make light of it, or anything, because Mom’s needs are real. But she becomes fixated, and it often seems to stem from her sense of helplessness and isolation.

Today’s theme song is “Run Like Hell” by Pink Floyd. The song was on the album “The Wall”, released in 1979. My younger cousin was so into Pink Floyd and tremendously excited when this album came out. I was stationed at Randolph AFB in Texas at the time. He lived not far away, in San Antonio. We had a lot of fun when we could hook up. Sadly, he passed away from cancer a few years ago. I can’t hear any song off “The Wall” without remembering him.

The Neurons plugged the song into the morning mental music stream today after seeing a Robert Reich Bluesky post.

“I feel optimistic about the midterm elections, just over five weeks away. But my stomach aches when I think of what’s at stake. Call me nauseously optimistic“

Yes, that’s me, too. And if Trump loses, many will see it as validation that Trump is wildly unpopular and unsuccessful. Angry as hell, Trump will probably tilt more into authoritarian ignorance and violence, while shouting, “Cheating! National emergency!”

“Run Like Hell” is about a rock star who orders an attack on the riff raff, so it’s appropriate as hell for my feelings today. I’m optimistic, nauseous and anxious, and quite ready to metamorphically run like hell.

Sample Lyrics

You better run all day
And run all night
And keep your dirty feelings
Deep inside.

I hope you have no need to run like hell today unless it’s because you decide to run out and get a favorite treat for yourself. Remember to treat yourself kindly and try to do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.

Back to coffee, writing, hopes, and dreams.

Cheers

0

Tuesday’s Theme Music — Smithereens!

Tuesday, September 1, 2025. Ashland, southern Oregon.

September arrived in Ashland, bringing colder weather. 58 F now, our projected high is 72 today with 72% chance of thunderstorms. Tomorrow is expected to top out at 60 F, with 98% chance of rain. So rain will come at last.

Meanwhile, most of the United States east of the Rockies to the Atlantic, north to Canada and south to the Gulf of Mexico, are enduring a heat wave

I’m a bit dispirited today. Another friend has prostate cancer. And Mom sent me a lengthy text last night. Another of my sisters, Lisa, took Mom new checks, along with a new tee-shirt and sweater. Mom told me that she felt chest pains yesterday and rested in bed. Also told me that it takes her three hours to get ready for bed. If true, that’s actually reduced from the three hours she required for several years. I was always astonished when visiting her and she would announce, “I need to get ready for bed.” She usually went to bed at midnight but began getting ready at 8:30.

Today, Mom texted me to ask, “Should I use my old checks to pay my rent?” I just went over that with her last Friday. So did two of my sisters.

Over in Iran, attacks began again as the war, begun in the winter, drags on toward autumn. I remember the days when Trump said the war was already over.

Instead, we have Trump offering a cartoonish AI-generated video of blowing up Kharg Island, declaring it’s “blown to smithereens”.

Like, wow. How old are you, grandpa? I know the expression but I’ve honestly don’t think I’ve heard it in years, maybe decades. It’s extremely bizarre to hear it said by an adult while discussing a war. I mean, it’s such a childish expression.

It’s a useful video for Trump, however. As part of Operation Epic LOOK — SQUIRREL!, Trump’s video has us wondering about his word choices and sanity, instead of dwelling on the continuing affordability crisis, or his lies, corruption, and general incompetence.

There are no reports that Kharg Island has been ‘blown to smithereens’. A US military official in fact said it was not targeted.

Your Trump Quote of the Day:

Yes, I’ve used that quote before. But it’s important, I think, to remember that when Trump was running for office in 2024, he blamed President Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris for bombs falling in the middle east — Gaza. He was arguing that the Biden administration had produced exactly the things he said a Trump presidency would prevent. Then he won, took office, and started war after claiming he would prevent wars, causing the inflation and rising prices which he claimed he would prevent.

Infuriating as hell.

Meanwhile, the Roberts Court said Trump could proceed building the Epstein ballroom. They avoided saying that it was legal for Trump to tear down a wing of the White House and start building something else without funds approved by Congress. That’s perfectly aligned with the weak principles of the Roberts Court. Equally, Roberts was part of the dissent, which is particularly laughable. He was basically bemoaning what the monster he helped create was doing.

Trump’s use of smithereens provoked My Neurons to bring up songs by the Smithereens. Among the songs in my morning mental music stream was “Only A Memory”. The 1988 song is about love, memory, loss, and history. As I have no love for Trump and wish he was history, it seems like a fine song for today.

I hope your spirits are high and your hopes are strong, and that you have the fortitude to overcome whatever is thrown your way.

Cheers

7

Tuesday’s Theme Music — Jail

Ashland, southern Oregon — Tuesday, July 14, 2026.

Gonna be hot today, probably 96. Reached 96 yesterday, too. Today’s sky offers blue, blue, blue, and blue wherever you look. It’s a comfortable 74 degrees F right now with a mild breeze gracing us.

It’s the birthday for one of my younger cousins today, but she passed away from cancer several years ago. I remember her with fondness for who she was, sadness for her reduced life and the disease she endured.

Trump announced another blockade of the Strait of Hormuz in conjunction with his war on Iran. Then Trump said that he was going to charge ships a 20% fee to go through, something well-established as illegal.

Then Trump TACOed and rescinded that announcement.

I suspect it was just another Operation Epic LOOK — SQUIRREL! move. Keep us distracted from his many failures and setbacks, such as that other distraction, the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool fiasco, and that mess called the Epstein Ballroom, sartorially named after Trump’s good friend.

Your Trump Quote of the Day:

Judge Kathleen Williams blocked Trump’s sweeping IRS settlement. If you remember, Trump sued the IRS, demanding $10,000,000,000 in damages. The DOJ announced a settlement between the IRS and Treasury in which a victim fund of $1.47B was established to be paid out. It also said the IRS agreed never to audit Trump and his family and their businesses or tax returns.

Judge Williams found some problems with the settlement.

I read her 56-page ruling yesterday, skipping many of the footnotes and some of the legal precedents. Fun read, though.

The Federal judge said this is a case of Trump against Trump, with Trump controlling both sides. She cited Trump’s early Executive Orders when he took office for his second term, noting that he made it clear that he was in charge of the executive branch and all of its offices, personnel, and decisions. As the case pitted the Treasury against the IRS and both of them are part of the Executive Branch, and Trump controls both, it’s like arguing with yourself.

Judge Williams also went on to note the lack of evidence, documentation, and statements made by the defendants. All this pointed to a lack of adversity, so the two sides were not arguing about anything. There were also a few comments made about the lawyers, and things the lawyers said in testimony to Congress and public statements.

Along with all that, she found the fund they established as a ‘settlement’ made no sense, because it awarded money to be given to parties unrelated to the lawsuit, and it established no means for controlling it.

I like the way that Judge Williams put it after laying out her reasoning:

“The Parties used the existence of federal litigation as a means of conferring
legitimacy upon a course of action that they were unwilling to subject to judicial review.
The context of the “settlement,” the relationships of the people involved in negotiating and
approving it, the ethical implications of their conduct, and the Parties’ swift efforts to
dismiss this case after the Court raised fundamental jurisdictional questions all support
this conclusion.”

Other news found the Trump Administration unfreezing money meant for blue states. Trump had the $10B HHS funds for the five states frozen, claiming that they were perpetuating fraud. Standard for Trump, he offered little evidence for his claim and made sweeping allegations.

The affected states sued. A federal judge blocked the freeze and mandated that Trump administration needed to explain why they’d frozen the money and justify their action. Rather than share their thinking, the money was unfrozen.

Trump also finally paid the $5M plus interest Trump owed E. Jean Carroll. A court ruled three years ago that Trump owed her the money for sexually assaulting her in 1996 and defaming her.

After all that, I was thinking about Trump and jail. The Neurons noticed and slotted a Thin Lizzy song into the morning mental music stream, “Jailbreak”. *smile*

I hope this day gives you many reasons to smile and be happy.

Cheers

6

Medical Update

Received my biopsy results the other day and saw my urologist today.

The TURBT procedure seemed to get all of the cancer. Didn’t get into the muscle tissue, blood, or connective tissue.

That’s all good news.

My bladder seems to be healing well, based on observations. No pain, clearer urine.

The next steps begin in August, maybe September. After my bladder has healed from its surgery, we’ll begin a series of BCG washes. This is an instillation of tuberculosis bacilli into the bladder. This trains the immune system to attack the disease. It then also attacks any cancer cells which dare to show. I’ll go through that once a week for four to six weeks. There’s a less than 1% chance that I’ll develop TB from it.

CT scans with contrast will follow after the BCG wash protocol to see what shows in my bladder. Cystoscopy if or as necessary to see what’s in there. Three-year follow up program of checking and washes.

First steps have been taken. While it’s all positive to date, it won’t be done for a while. Meanwhile, I’m energetic. In good spirits. Overweight — got to eat less and exercise more, but I can’t exercise properly for two more weeks — but optimistic.

Thanks for all the support. I’ll try to reciprocate to the best I can.

Cheers

15

Thursday’s Theme Music — Fighting Fires

Ashland, southern Oregon — Thursday, June 25, 2026.

Cooler today — just 85 F — but the summer mix of blue sky and sunshine continues without interruption in our valley.

I haven’t been watching the World Cup games. Not my kind of football. But I dreamed that I was working with a gregarious black guy, trying to sell team jerseys to fans. He’d come into a large shipment of them at a discount, but he didn’t know what sizes he had. All had been manufactured outside of the US, and they weren’t using the labels familiar to me. I was using the Internet to help him size them so he could sell them.

Results are not back from Mom’s tests yesterday, except they have confirmed she doesn’t have a yeast infection. My sister, Gina, related that Mom was complaining about the sunglasses Mom was wearing: they were too big. She went on a rant that Frank probably let his sister, Joan, wear them, because Joan has a big head. She finished, “I could just kill Frank.”

Gina replied, “Mom, you do know that Frank died last year, don’t you?”

I feel like I’m in a variation of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel. In that 1989 song, he recites court decisions, celebrity names, historic events, and pop culture fads and trends that took place between 1949, when Joel was born, to the current date in 1989. As I read the news, there’s a Billy Joel rhythm: Supreme Court rules, shooting leaves x dead, earthquakes, wildfires, flooding, climate change denial, Trump texts, Trump promises, Trump lies, Trump claims, distraction, distraction, distraction, fake news, elections, corruption, facts, truth, history, Epstein files, Epstein ballroom, tariffs, Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, Israel, Gaza, Lebanon, Iran, Strait of Hormuz, Musk, Venezuela, Ukraine, Russia, China, ICE in the cities, economy, jobs, prices, prices, prices, crisis, crisis, crisis!

Trump didn’t start the fire. But he threw gasoline on it and gave it oxygen. He didn’t start it but we’re gonna fight it.

The song had a lot of airplay back in the early 1990s but has since faded. Not one of Joel’s better offerings, the chorus was pretty familiar to everyone because of the airplay.

Despite those thoughts, The Neurons have the Allman Brothers performing “Statesboro Blues” in my morning mental music stream. A favorite song and cover, it has a jumping, thumping sound to it which always kickstarts my energy.

I hope you have great day, summer or winter, wherever you inhabited for now, and that all goes well for you and yours.

I’m off to my appointments. Cheers

1

Wednesday’s Wandering Thoughts

I have bladder cancer surgery tomorrow. I’ve been told what they’ll do, and I have my instructions for washing, sleeping in clean clothes, when to show, what to wear – what I can and drink, when. Anyone who’s had surgery or knows someone who went through surgery is probably familiar with these guidelines.

I’m in a good space for it. Inconveniences abound, yes, and some potential for a life-altering outcome, but I have the healthcare insurance to cover it. Have a team to do it, and a safe place to recover. I won’t need to worry about food or shelter, and my wife is there for me.

I was thinking about how much worse this is for my wife than me. She has to endure the waiting. I mean, if something happens to me, well, it happens. She must deal with the aftermath.

So, I worry about how she worries. I’m anxious about her anxieties.

I asked her, “How are you feeling about my surgery tomorrow?”

She replied, “I feel good about it. I’m not worried at all.”

Which is exactly what I wanted to hear.

No matter what happens to me, I hope she’ll be okay.

5

Trumptoids

The new Trump phone is here! The new Trump phone is here!

Unfortunately for its buyers, many are already referring to it as overpriced junk. Perhaps it’ll find a second life on eBay.

The GOP called for a resolution to end Trump’s war in Iran. Then, realizing it might pass, they pulled it.

Tulsi Gabbard is out as DNI due to her husband’s health. Wonder if Kash and Stephen Miller can find similar reasons to resign…

I don’t wish cancer on anyone. And I wish her husband and their family well as they endure his cancer and treatment. But I am jaded and cynical, wondering if Trump’s declining popularity and continuing chaos played into Gabbard’s resignation.

And I think, ‘who made who?’ Did the current environment make me as cynical as I am, or did my thinking help create this environment?

Probably a bit of both, with a little help from my friends.

Project Epic LOOK – SQUIRREL! took an unsurprising turn this week when the Trump administration announced they’d indicted the ex-President of Cuba. Here’s a quote that had me laughing/gagging:

‘While announcing the charges, Acting US Attorney General Todd Blanche said President Donald Trump “will not forget its citizens.” Separately, the president said the US will make an announcement on the embargo against Cuba “pretty soon.”’

The headline in the link says:

Indictment holds accountable those who kill Americans, Blanche says

Hell, if that headline was true, ICE would be facing accountability, as they have killed Americans.

This is just more Trump theater. He’s lost approval among voters and found a way to get some love from the Cuban/American community. $1776 to service members, a slush fund for J6 insurrectionists, attacks on Iran for the war mongers…and do you see how he’s releasing women from his cabinet?

Wonder who he’s trying to win with that move.

In other news…

Read the entire article at NPR where the Trump voter says, yes, he and his wife cope with high food prices by fasting, while giving Trump an A+.

It’s frustrating to read this article. This Trump voter claims he’s a critical thinker and that’s why he voted for Trump.

Why? What was it? Was it Trump’s claim that if Kamala Harris became POTUS, we’d be at war in Iran? Was it Trump’s business bankruptcies, his multiple marriages, his failure to come through with his promises to have Mexico pay for the wall? Was it Jan 6 when Trump encouraged rioters and attempted to overturn the election? Trump’s continued lying and obsession with losing in 2020, claiming without any evidence that the election was stolen? Was it Trump’s documented 30,000 plus lies in his first four years in office?

What, what, what did this critical thinker research and think to come to his conclusion that Trump was the answer? That’s what we really want to know.

Because now this Trump voter claims that the high prices are worth it if Iran is put into its place. Yet, Trump had them worried about Kamala Harris started a war there.

Lot of critical thinking going on there…yessir…

Likewise, Donald Trump keeps making crap claims like this: President Biden had FBI agents in the Jan 6 crowd.

Those critical thinkers who support Trump overlook the fact that Trump was POTUS on Jan 6, and had been for the previous four years. How would yet to be POTUS Joe Biden have that power?

Ah, yes, the eternal MAGA boogey man: the deep state.

This is what we face. Fact-adverse Trump supporters who turn away from everything he does that goes against what he said he’d do.

No new wars.

A unifier.

Drain the swamp.

How many more years will it take for them to learn?

Well, that question assumes that they CAN — or that they want to.

4

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑