Tag: body functions

Betrayal

Had happened before. Wouldn’t bet against it again. Always without a hint. Always from unexpected direction.

This time, it was below. A knee went off on an excursion. He was walking up steps. Not hurrying. Nothing special. But that knee took a detour to the right. An action that almost threw him back down the stairs. Made him grab the handrail and gasp. Pause to breath. Swallow pain. Yeah, and fear.

Others saw. “You okay?”

He nodded. Not sure what they saw. “Just.” Didn’t know how to explain it. Didn’t want to. “Caught my toe. Tripped myself.”

They were looking. Mute. Knew what had happened. Understood why he lied. Nodded. Accepting.

Continued on.

He followed. Betrayed by his body again. Worried that another betrayal was imminent. Maybe not a knee. Maybe memory. Or cognitive process. Damn body. No long trustworthy.

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Morning Confessions

Okay, I blew my nose this morning, one of the first things I did after peeing. Then I looked at what I’d blown out.

Not the sort of thing to think about, isn’t it?

Some people don’t like to. Bodies may be temple, but whatever is in it should stay hidden.

That’s not what I believe.

I started thinking about this because a rant on Facebook was about how horrified someone was by another blowing their nose and then looking at it. I thought, why not? This is a discharge from my body and its processes. Of course I’m going to look at it. I want to know what the hell is coming out of me. Especially if I’m feeling a little under the weather, more stopped up than usual, or I’m recovering from something, or coping with a health issue, or, like today, dealing with unhealthy air. Doctors and nurses will ask you about its color and consistency; you should know it.

Likewise, I check out my urine and feces. I want to know the results of my bowel movements. Again, it’s part of my body and evidence about what’s going on in there. If I could check my blood regularly and get test results, I would. One thing learned as I’ve aged is that symptoms of underlying conditions don’t usually reveal until they combine into something serious that starts taking me down.

I’m tired of people being dainty about these things. Hiding it, not looking at it, not discussing it unless they’re being closed doors. Ridiculous. Knowledge and information can help us understand and grow. Hiding your knowledge about your body from yourself and others just spreads ignorance.

So don’t turn away. Look at what comes out of you. Talk about it with others. How the hell are you supposed to learn otherwise?

I’m weary of all the silos we’ve built in the name of conventions, norms, and polite societies. I don’t think these manufactured artifices serve us.

So come on. Stop crying, “TMI,” and join the information revolution.

Start telling your friends about your crap.

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Another Complaint

I’m one of those people who look into the hankie or tissue after I blow my nose.

Apparently, this offends or horrifies some people. The very idea of blowing their nose seems terrible, terrible, to them.

I’m surprised. That stuff coming out of my nose offers clues about what’s going on inside my body. As often as my body frustrates me with its secrets, I need to do everything I can to find clues about what it’s up to.

It’s the same thing about having a bowel movement and checking out what’s in the can afterward, but I won’t go there. I can already imagine the horror spreading across the net. Then there’s menstruation, which I’m sure has many crying, “Enough!” I don’t menstruate but I’ve learned from my wife that menstruating can offer a lot of clues to what’s going on inside.

Admittedly, I had a hard time considering it when she was menstruating. Yes, it was blood, and that was part of it, and it’s coming out of her was another part of it, and from that body part contributed to my initial discomfort and revulsion. Then I started thinking, why did I react like that?

We really need to re-think how we socialize ourselves about our bodies and its processes. Some steps have been made. Everybody Poops has been out for years. Period. End of Sentence., a film about menstruation, won an Oscar this year. So, yes, progress is evident, but we’ve got a long way to go.

Next: “Let’s Talk About Farting”

 

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Multi-tasking

I was having drinks with a friend the other night. Frank is fully twenty-three years older than me, putting him in his mid-eighties. A retired professor and writer, he’s good company.

So it wasn’t surprising that we were ribbing each other and laughing when he suddenly sneezed and loudly farted. My reaction was to ask, “Frank, are you all right?”

“You notice that?” he said. “I did four things simultaneously.”

Before I could think more or speak, he said, “I laughed, sneezed, farted, and peed all at the same time. Now that’s multi-tasking.” Standing, he added, “Excuse me. I need to go to the restroom.”

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