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Sunfloof (floofinition) – Animals who enjoy lazing, lounging, or sleeping in pools of sunshine, move with the sun across spaces, or sit with their face to the sun.
In use: “Five cats and three dogs, and all were dedicated sunfloofs, moving across the patio to remain in the sun, as if they’d cease to be without sunshine.”
Unfloofable (floofinition) – Animal behavior marked by supreme self-confidence, surety, and self-control.
In use: “The ginger boys were in a vet’s office for their check-ups after a thirty minute car ride, but purring and unfloofable, they looked as if they sat on their own porch, surveying their domain.”
Floofistry (floofinition) – A housepet’s subtly deceptive reasoning, persuasion, or argumentation, usually conveyed by using big eyes, purring, or soft whining.
In use: “When he got his sandwich, he knew he’d succumb to his pet’s floofistry, so, planning ahead, he made two additional plates with lunch meat on it – one for the cat, and one for the dog.”
Floofper (floofinition) – An embarrassing (and often comical) mistake done by a pet.
In use: “The dog rushed in, tried to stop, and slid across the hardwood floor, crashing into the a bookcase, sending books flying. Ignoring the floofper, he stood off, shook himself off, trotted to the other side of the room and sat down as if nothing had happened.”
Exfloofsive (floofinition) – An area, period, or activity established or reserved for animal use.
In use: “She hadn’t planned it, but Caramel made every evening at eight PM his exfloofsive time, fetching his brush without being told, bringing it to her, and sitting down before her, waiting to be brushed, with his bright eyes telling her, “You know what you must do.” Resistance wasn’t even considered.”
Spokesfloof (floofinition) 1. The outspoken pet that answers for the group when their people talk to them. 2. Persons, groups, or organizations that speak up on the behalf of animals to gain protections and rights.
In use: “Arriving home and seeing his menagerie, he always asked, “Who’s hungry?” Jade appointed herself as spokesfloof to reply, “Meee,” but the rest generally agreed with her after a few seconds.”
NIMB (Floofintion) – Acronym that means Not In My Bed, employed by housepets to register their disdain for anyone/thing disrupting their slumber.
In use: “Raising her head, she issued a plaintive NIMB growl when another animal jumped onto the bed. The other immediately fled.”
Flooftub (floofinition) – A typically wide, open, deep, and round container used for holding water, growing plants, etc., repurposed by pets as sleeping, hiding, and playing spaces.
In use: “During hot days, Ashley converted the main tub into a flooftub, stretching her long furry body out along the cool, porcelain bottom for afternoon naps that none dared to interrupt.”
It’s a sad situation; a neighbor ran over their cat while parking, the fifth time in my life that a friend or neighbor ran over their cat.
This victim was a cat, but it can happen with children, dogs, and other animals and people. The situation begins with a routine, complacency, and an assumption: “He/she is always there. I expected them to move. They always did.” That assumption is a killer.
His name was Buddy. He was a small, elderly black cat. Probably weighed seven pounds, but had the voice of a lion. He was sweet, trotting over to me for a treat and a scratch when I came out to do yard work or go check the mail.
I wasn’t present when Buddy met his demise. The woman’s three elementary school-age girls were.
The temp was in the nineties. Maybe Buddy was hot or ill, or deeply asleep. Like each of the other four situations, Buddy didn’t move as he usually does.
Such accidents and deaths can be avoided. Don’t assume. Get the visuals. Take the time to confirm the cat’s location. Confirm that he moved.
It’s already happened five times too many to my friends and neighbors during my lifetime. Please learn from Buddy.
Floofbicle (floofinition) – a small partitioned-off space pets use for sleeping and playing, sometimes called a box by the uninformed.
In use: “Although the floofbicle was too small for the bulldog, he ignored the limitations and tried sitting.”
Michael Seidel, writer 