Still as river stones
His unflinching eyes study
Waiting for trouble
Qafloof
Qafloof (floofinition) – Discredited and scurrilous anonymous organization who foment theories and lies aimed to undermine animals’ fair treatment, health, and safety.
In use: “Qafloof adherents often believe that animals lack souls and intelligence, can’t experience emotions, and are unworthy of kindness and protection.”
Stand-by
He stays on stand-by
Lurking nearby, just in case
Food drops on the floor
Papafloof
Papafloof (floofinition) – Senior male animal who becomes the father figure for other animals.
In use: “When rescue kittens were brought in to be fostered, big Beau, the tough, menacing retired K-9 German Shepherd, became papafloof, licking the little felines clean, watching over them when they slept and played, protectively cupping them with his big body, gently guiding them with his enormous paws and snout.”
Obfloofitory
Obfloofitory (floofinition) – Something mandatory or required to be done for an animal.
In use: “The poodle’s polite bark established an obfloofitory walk for business was needed now, so she put on her shoes and jacket and gathered his leash as he sat by the door with an exfloofant expression.”
Newfloof
Newfloof (floofinition) – (Floof slang (flang)): A new animal to the area, household, or organization.
In use: “Candice came in with a small puppy in her arms, her newest rescue. The other housefloofs immediately came up to welcome the newfloof with sniffs and licks.”
Mockfloof
Mockfloof (floofinition) – Animal or human pretending to be an animal or another species.
In use: “Many people and their pets enjoy it when the humans become mockfloofs, getting down on all fours to meow, growl, or bark, pretending to lick or bite their pet, sniffing them as the animals often do the people, and even ‘wagging their tails’.”
Lovefloof
Lovefloof (floofinition) – An animal or pet who enthusiastically give or receive love.
In use: “The pit bull cowered in the corner for the first week, trembling whenever someone approached him, but slowly, with love, patience, and food, he became a sweet lovefloof who enjoyed cuddling, walks, and playing fetch with a ball.”
The Flooftenders
The Flooftenders (floofinition) – Alternative Flooftish-Floofmerican flock band, known as a floo-floo-floo band in the biz, formed in 1978. The band’s sound straddled punk’s rawness and new wave’s bouncy offerings. Inducted into the Hall of Floof in 2005, the group remains active despite the deaths of several original members.
In use: “The Flooftenders’ first Floof K number one single was “Treats in Pocket” in 1978, which also reached the top forty in the Floofnited States.”
Kilofloof
Kilofloof (floofinition) – A collection of one thousand animals.
In use: “Although there were ‘only’ fourteen puppies and kittens (from four mothers), on some days, it felt like a kilofloof running about underfoot.”
Michael Seidel, writer 