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Floofspread (floofinition) – Animals found on a many people or distributed over a large area.
In use: “Household pets — dogs, cats, and the bird — were floofspread — on the carpet in sunshine, in beds, on chairs and laps, and sprawled across part of the sofa — a happy scene for all concerned, bringing smiles to faces, wags to tails, and purrs to the air.”
Interfloofcutor (floofinition) – An animal who takes part in a dialogue or conversation.
In use: “Of course the bird was always an interfloofcutor, whether the conversation was on Zoom, a phone, or in person, but her participation always woke the cats, who also needed to join conversation, which brought out the Husky, who then added his opinions.”
Flooflovian (floofinition) – Relating to classical conditioning conducted by an animal to create a predictable behavioral pattern.
In use: “The rescue cat, Elsa, was a flooflovian master, teaching her new ‘master’ to share her food, surrender her pillow, and generally do as the cat desired, mostly through purrs, gazes, and quiet meows.”
Floofveillance (floofinition) – An animal’s close watch kept over someone or something.
In use: “Although always respectful and well-behaved (unlike others she could name, like the cats), the German Shepherd maintained floofveillance on the grill as the steaks cooked.”
Floofton’s Cradle (floofinition) – Group sleeping position animals use to conserve warmth and energy.
In use: “The kittens quickly refined the floofton’s cradle with the retriever’s help, curling up in one snug heap of slumbering fur.”
Flooftypal (floofinition) – Very typical of a certain kind of animal.
In use: “Mama Meow was one of the growing flooftypal mothers seen on the net of late, willing and eager to raise orphaned babies from another species — squirrels, in this instance.”
Floofsensical (floofinition) – Something strange or baffling that makes complete sense to an animal.
In use: “It was floofsensical to everyone — including the cats — but the French bulldog loved nothing better than getting on his back and slowly sliding down the carpeted steps, and would do so again and again. His family began calling him ‘The Stairmaster’.”
Eqflooflibrium (floofinition) – An accepted balance of power between two or more housepets, or between housepets and their owners.
In use: “An appropriate eqflooflibrium was found between the cats: Daisy would have Cheri’s lap during the day, and Petunia would sleep with her in the bed at night. Other than that, they would respect a three foot do-not-enter zone. Entering the other’s zone would immediately set off mewailing that brought Cheri’s intervention.”
Floofxiomatic (floofinition) – Self-evident truth to an animal, or matter taken for granted by an animal.
In use: “It’s floofxiomatic to many pets that they’ll sleep in the best locations, and when people eat, they will naturally partake of that food, too.”
Floof face (floofinition) – 1. Expressions made when speaking with animals.
In use: “Seeing the ginger tabby wander into the dining room, she put on her floof face. Her eyes got big, lighting up from behind their brown irises. Dropping to one knee, she extended a hand and started speaking in a gentle, sweet tone associated with talking to infants.”
2. The acquisition of animal fur on cheeks, chin, forehead, etc.
In use: “His dog, god love him, always joined him in a nap, which both enjoyed, but afterward, he always had a little floof face in a ball of dog hair tangled up in his short beard. He learned on getting up, to look in the mirror and groom such collections off.”
Michael Seidel, writer 