They slumber in vinca
or under the grill,
but you’ll never see them
because they stay so still.
They only come out when
something is offered to eat,
and that comes after the sun is setting,
and there’s a lot less heat.
Independent Floof
They’re an independent floof of independent means,
(At least, that’s how they see it, just between you and me).
Going where they want, doing as they wish,
Eating off of everything,
Especially your dish.
You can tell them otherwise,
And order them, “Don’t you dare.”
And they’ll wait until you go away,
And then do what they please.
And though you may get angry,
You might even get mad,
You know when they’re gone,
You’ll be very, very sad.
Floogle
Floofgle (floofinition) – To search for information or stories about animals on the web.
In use: “Interested in fostering animals, Joyce floogled ways to get involved with animal rescue organizations.”
Floofidecimal System
Floofidecimal System (floofinition) – Process by which animals can make them seem like they weigh ten times as much as their normal weight or appear to ten times their actual size.
In use: “Marcia loved sleeping with her dog and twin felines but they often used the floofidecimal system and end up taking over the entire bed, leaving a small edge for her to use.”
Efloofzable
Efloofzable (floofinition) Easily beguiled or manipulated by an animal.
In use: “Everyone knew Bonnie was so efloofzable; a doe-eyed look from her dog, a smile from her cat, or the brush of fur against her skin stopped everything else as she asked her fur friends what they wanted and how she could make them happy.”
Agitfloof
Agitfloof (floofinition) 1. An animal who displays irritating habits or behavior, or makes sounds which others find annoying.
In use: “The three new puppies were adorable, but the boy — who became known as Mephistopheles — was an agitfloof with huge energy bands, galloping and attacking when the others were sleeping, curious about everything going on, and generally getting into the middle of all activities, invited or not.”
2. Play objects or behavior designed to spur animal’s physical activity and thinking.
In use: “The mousebot — Phelps’ nickname for the toy — was agitfloof that sent a mechanized furry gray mouse racing out of its little gray plastic hill, leading the kittens on a chase for five minutes before ducking back into its plastic hidey hole to dock and recharge.”
Floofgom
Floofgom (floofinition) – Floofish word that roughly translates to ‘just enough’ or ‘good balance’.
In use: “For many cats, when floofgom is reached when their belly is being rubbed, they will immediately announce, ‘That’s enough’, often by love bites or some quick claw action.”
Arifloofacy
Arifloofacy (floofinition) – Governing or ruling by a small set of animals.
In use: “The novel by George Orwell, Animal Farm, is about an arifloofacy and the changes it brings to the farm’s dynamics, but anyone with pets have probably experienced an arifloofacy in action, or had to deal with it, for example, fending off the arifloofacy while eating.”
Michael Seidel, writer 