Gakdar

Gakdar (floofinition) – A system of instincts and senses used to spot an animal’s vomit before it is stepped in. Origins: circa 1960s, United States slang.

In Use: “His gakdar failing, Michael walked right into a small, wet present from one of his floofs.”

In Use: “Many people living with a pet for the first time soon learn that good gakdar is a necessity.

DFZ

DFZ: Deflooferized Zone (floofinition) – Space or location where an animal’s presence is discouraged. Origins: Late 1950s, United States.

In Use: “Many people who share a space with a floof attempts to create DFZs, like beds, sofas, and counter tops. But modern video surveillance systems inform them that once they leave the house, DMZs become comfort zones.”

Kitfloof

Kitfloof (floofinition) Animal who always arrives in the kitchen to beg for a treat when someone goes in to get food. Origins: Circa 2020, Oregon via Internet.

In Use: “A reliable kitfloof, Tucker always roused himself when Michael entered the kitchen, slow trotting in to see what he could beg off his floofman; perhaps a few pieces of chicken (his favorite), a small cheese offering, or the chance to like the dishes after. Michael rarely failed to give him something.”

Floofmulent

Floofmulent (floofinition) 1. An acceptable or satisfactory animal. Origins: 1996 American television.

In Use: “Jackson’s family took him to pick a kitten at the animal shelter. But an elderly cat marched straight to him, and Jackson announced the cat was floofmulent and named him Captain Jack.”

2. Something that animals are willing to accept, or that satisfies them.

In Use: “Although Devon preferred a tennis ball, Max couldn’t find her normal ball. After a little trial and error, Max found a stick which Devon thought floofmulent, and a game of fetch commenced.”

Floofymoon

Floofymoon (floofinition) 1. A lunar event that seems to make animals more energetic or active.Origins: Internet, early 2000s.

In Use: “Bristol couldn’t see the moon because of clouds (and he never looked up at the moon anyway, and privately wondered why that was), but he figured whateverI it was, it was a floofymoon, because the three rescue floofs (they’d chosen him) were rebellious and rambunctious in everyway imaginable, knocking things off the desk, kitchen counter, bedroom dresser, and bathroom counter! It was a night of madness and then they slept like angels.”

2. Short time when all animals or people and animals are getting along well.

In Use: “Most of the time, Bats and Snacks went at it like Steelers playing the Browns, so there was mega levels of barking, hissing, growling, and running 1440 minutes a day, but once in a while, a floofymoon gently landed, and the dog and cat groomed each other and napped together.”

Doorfloof

Doorfloof (floofinition) – Animal who likes to be at a door but doesn’t want to go through the door. Origins: circa 2000 BCE.

In Use: “A classic doorfloof, Tommy wanted the door opened, but then sat down in the open doorway so that he was half in and half out, and just watched the world and snoozed.”

In Use: “After moving into her house, Julie discovered a squirrel at her front door. The little doorfloof was present every morning at about ten AM through spring, summer, and autumn’s early days. Accepting the situation, Julie researched squirrels’ eating habits and was soon ready with a treat for her little friend, who she named Sparkle, for the little rodent’s bright eyes.”

Grrness

Grrness (floofinition) – Quality or depths of an animal’s anger or willingness to fight. Origins: Early 21st century Internet. Synonyms: Feistiness, spiciness

In Use: “Seeing the other cat approach, Papi’s grrness ascended. Eyes narrowing, he stood, lowered his head and tail, and unleashed a long, low growl.”

In Use: “Although only a two-legged human, Jill often exhibited a floof’s heightened grrness when writing about Trump and injustice.”

In Use: “When Walt ignored Casper’s appeals for some of Walt’s food, Caspar’s grrness punched up. Seizing half a sandwich with his mouth, he turned and darted away as Walt furiously shouted.”

The Tigers Dream

A bit of a shambolic dream IMO.

There’d been some sort of apocalypse. Buildings and cities remained but the people were gone. Well, most. Handfuls of survivors roamed. I was one of them. We were extremely wary of one another. I somehow came to be with another man (no one known in real life). He and I had established a sort of fortress for ourselves. Large, well lit, mostly white with wooden accents, the hallways were broad and tall. Snug and comfortable, we were well-stocked and sure we’d survive. The big question hampering us was, but survive to what end? We halfheartedly spoke of it but reached no conclusions.

As I went through one section of our fortress, enjoying sunshine streaming through high windows, I discovered two deer in a room. That surprised me but turning, I realized that another room had two huge tigers. Bent on going after the deer, the tigers didn’t seem to notice me. Sneaking over, I closed the door on the tigers’ room. Then I closed the door on the deers’ room so they wouldn’t wander through our place. I was confused about how the animals had gotten in and also worried about how we were going to get them back out.

Going around to find my partner to warn him about the tigers and tell him about the deer, I found people trying to get into the front door. That was an all-glass area, and I could see them. Seeing me, they called out for me to let them in.

Scene shift.

Now we had like a little village going and were helping others. An enormous number of tigers were prowling. I figured they must have all escaped from zoos and then procreated. I kept encountering them but none ever threatened me. They didn’t even seem to notice I was there. But others were oblivious to the tigers, and I’d need to rush forward and give them warning. Most of them that I warned were children and women.

In parallel to this, I began collecting computers and testing them to see if they worked. When they didn’t, I’d take them apart to see what parts were needed and then go look for parts. I soon had a collection of many parts and had several computers going.

Then I was distracted from working on them by a leopard threatening a group of children. A leopard was a surprise; I’d not seen any before. Tail slashing back and forth, the leopard gazed at me as I approached. Yelling, “Shoo, shoo,” and making a shooing motion, I jumped toward it. Snarling a bit, the animal turned and left.

Dream end.

Supfloofvisor

Supfloofvisor (floofinition) – Animal who oversees or takes charge of organizing or directing activities. Synonym: Supfurvisor. Origins: 1970 United States

In Use: “Border collies and corgis are two dog breeds known for being supfloofvisors, and often want to round up other animals and guard things.”

In Use: “Popsicle, aka Pop, always arrived for meal preparation, setting himself as supfloofvisor, meowing and waving a paw until he was permitted to sniff each ingredient.”

Loveser

Loveser (floofinition) – Animal slang or floof slang (flang) about an animals who is serious but loving. Origins: Internet circa 2024.

In Use: “The big dog was never seen to play and earned a rep as a loveser, hanging with his people, tolerating other animals, never barking or whining, but frequently wagging his tail.”

In Use: “In the clowder of six kittens, gray furred Penelope was a solemn big-eyed cutie, soon revealing herself as a loveser, preferring a comfortable lap with a few scratches around her chin and ears over kitten games.”

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