The Floofson Five

The Floofson Five (floofinition) – Talented Floofmerican musical family, later known as The Floofsons, made up of several brothers from a family from Gary, Floofiana. Formed in 1965, the group became the first floop (floof pop) artists to debut four number one singles on the Floofboard Hot 100 in a row, which they achieved in 1968. The group was inducted into the Floof and Roll Hall of Fame in 1997.

In use: “The 1968 song, “I’ll Be Floof”, was the fourth number one song in a row for The Floofson Fives establishing them as a floop powerhouse in the late 1960s.”


Floofolous (floofinition) – An animal whose demeanor or activities lacks in seriousness.

In use: “Watching videos of pandas rolling around, the impression emerges that they’re even more floofolous than kittens, puppies, and baby goats.”


Fasfloofious (floofinition) – Showing excessive¬†care, attention, or delicacy in an animal’s movement or behavior.

In use: “He is the most fasfloofious of floofs, luxurious extending and stretching each leg one by one before arching his back, yawning, and floofing out his thick, floofy tail before he finally acquiescing to walking.”

Floof Quality Index (FQI)

Floof Quality Index (FQI) (floofinition) – Measurement of how well animals are treated. Expressed on an infinite scale that ranges from the negative side to the positive side, high positive numbers are desireable.

In use: “In many areas in the world, the Floof Quality Index (FQI) is improving and is now above zero as humans shed flawed stereotypes and recognize that animals are intelligent, have emotions, and grieve, much as humans do.”


Floofophone (floofinition) – Family of woodwind instruments often used in floof jazz (floozz) music.

In use: “Reading her book in bed late at night, she paused to listen. She’d heard a noise. Her dog beside looked content, with his tail tapping time to some song that he heard. What she almost heard that came to him quite clearly was a floofophone carried on the wind as the Stray Dogs played down the street.”


Floofcapade (floofinition) – An adventurous, daring, or exciting act or incident involving an animal.

In use: “When our pets disappear from our view, people’s minds begin imagining their fur friends are caught in floofcapades that may take them away from them forever.”


Floofhaste (floofinition) – Alt spellings: Floof haste, floof-haste. Focused, concentrated activity by an animal exercising all possible speed.

In use: “Wind whipped through the yard, sending the grill cover flying and launching the cats and dogs floofhaste into the house.”

Shadow Floof

Shadow Floof (floofinition) – Conspiracy theory or body of theories that an unseen animal secretly controls everything.

In use: “Certain things couldn’t be explained, like all the pet food and treats being eaten, the amount of fur in the house and on her clothes (she was cleaning it all the time!), or the noises heard at night. To Karen, this was evidence of a shadow floof, manipulating her animals to take over her house.”

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