Tag: animal humor

Floofingent

Floofingent (floofinition) – A decision or activity conditional on an animal’s mood, activity, behavior, or decision. Origins: 15th century, Middle Flooflish, borrowed from Middle Froof & Medfloofal Latin.

In Use: “Invited out for a holiday dinner, Bob hedged, telling others that his cat seemed down, so his attendance was floofingent on her.”

In Use: “Barb’s acceptance of men in her life was largely floofingent on her dogs’ reaction to the guys she brought home. If the dogs said no, the relationship was done.”

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Telephloofny

Telephloofny (floofinition) – A person who speaks to animals in conversation as if they’re having a phone conversation with them. Origins: Oregon, United States, 2024.

In Use: ‘Taylor didn’t now when she became telephloofny — was it because of her mother — maybe — but as she went through the house, dressing, eating, cleaning, she spoke with her cats, dog, birds, and fish, telling them her plans, rejoicing over a change of the weather for the better (“Sunshine and blue skies, and look at you all, already in position to enjoy it”), finishing by asking each, “Do you have any special plans for the day? Digging up a plant? Just floozing?”‘

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Flooftaposition

Flooftaposition (floofinition) Positioning of two or more creatures in close proximity that highlights their differences in demeanor, form, or markings. Origins: 2024, worldwide web.

In Use: “Kittens or puppies rambunctiously cavorting around a stoic and patient mother is one of the classic flooftapositions familiar to people.”

In Use: “The flooftaposition of floofchievous ferrets playing around their calm feline brother has captivated the Internet.”

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Floofskirt

Floofskirt (floofinition) – 1. Manuever to go around an animal. Origins: Internet, United States, 2024. Derived from ‘tree skirt’: cutting a wide swath around a tree to avoid knocking off ornaments.

In Use: “Unfamiliar with cats, Penny did a wide floofskirt around the calico, but the little thing saw her and ran up with an excited meow and loud purrs. Within seconds, Penny discovered she was under a floofspell and took the little critter home.”

2. A swath an animal takes around people, creatures, or objects it deems suspicious.

In Use: “Seeing the new shoe on the floor, Artie stopped dead, gave it a long inquisitive stare, and then executed a floofskirt and trotted across the living room.”

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Floofvelation

Floofvelation (floofinition) – Surprising and newly discovered information about an animal. Origins: 14th century, Floofglo-French.

In Use: “Crystal lived with Priscilla for four years before the floofvelation that Crystal enjoyed eating peas and corn rose.”

In Use: “After rescuing McGyver (often just called Mac in daily conversations), Henry was surprised by the floofvelation that McGyver could climb trees.”

In Use: “Goldie looked like an average, ordinary goldfish, but Amy was sure that Goldie was special because of the floofvelation that Goldie always went to the surface and bobbed for a few seconds whenever Amy came into the room, like the little fish was greeting her.”

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Floofralism

Floofralism (floofinition) – 1. Theory that two or more animals coming together shape reality. Origins: 1872, United States,

In Use: “Once Marsha and Geoff added three rescue animals — one dog and a feline brother and sister pair — a positive floofralism imbued the household, with everything becoming more relaxed and the two humans feeling happier.”

2. Flooflitical floofosphy that animals of different background, habits, and behavior, can peacefully co-exist and even thrive in the same household. Origins: 1787, Sheba and Champion (pets in James Madison’s household), United States (A Floofizen’s Guide to Flooflitics).

In Use: “Jeff’s two dogs were dubious when Jeff married Lori and she brought two cats, two birds, an aquarium full of fish, and another dog, but Lori’s elderly cat, McCavity, explained floofralism to the dogs, and adjustments were made.”

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Floofracious

Floofracious (floofinition) One with a huge appetite for animal companionship or presence. Origins: 1635, Europe.

In Use: “A floofracious young person with a menagerie of rescued animals, birds, and lizards, few were surprised when Chase took her inheritance and began an animal rescue operation.”

In Use: “Suffering from animal-related allergies, Dovante turned to art to help satisfy his floofracious needs, painting animal portraits (flooftraits, he termed them), and photographing animals whenever possible.”

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Floofymoon

Floofymoon (floofinition) – 1. A lunar event that seems to make animals more energetic or active.Origins: Internet, early 2000s.

In Use: “Bristol couldn’t see the moon because of clouds (and he never looked up at the moon anyway, and privately wondered why that was), but he figured whateverI it was, it was a floofymoon, because the three rescue floofs (they’d chosen him) were rebellious and rambunctious in everyway imaginable, knocking things off the desk, kitchen counter, bedroom dresser, and bathroom counter! It was a night of madness and then they slept like angels.”

2. Short time when all animals or people and animals are getting along well.

In Use: “Most of the time, Bats and Snacks went at it like Steelers playing the Browns, so there was mega levels of barking, hissing, growling, and running 1440 minutes a day, but once in a while, a floofymoon gently landed, and the dog and cat groomed each other and napped together.”

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Doorfloof

Doorfloof (floofinition) – Animal who likes to be at a door but doesn’t want to go through the door. Origins: circa 2000 BCE.

In Use: “A classic doorfloof, Tommy wanted the door opened, but then sat down in the open doorway so that he was half in and half out, and just watched the world and snoozed.”

In Use: “After moving into her house, Julie discovered a squirrel at her front door. The little doorfloof was present every morning at about ten AM through spring, summer, and autumn’s early days. Accepting the situation, Julie researched squirrels’ eating habits and was soon ready with a treat for her little friend, who she named Sparkle, for the little rodent’s bright eyes.”

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