Tag: animal humor

Infloofition

Infloofition (floofinition) – The ability to know without direct evidence, rational thought, or inference, what an animal will do. Origins: Middle Flooflish, from the Flooftin, first noted use in 1600.

In Use: “Connie’s infloofition caused her to sigh, put down her novel, and head for the door. Rascal had gone out through the pet door six minutes before, and a fight was overdue.”

In Use: “Taylor put their plate down and went to fetch a glass of tea when infloofition made them rush back to their food just as Munchkin arrived to make it hers.”

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Lethflooflogica

Lethflooflogica (floofinition) – Inability to remember an animal’s correct name. Origins: Attributed to Carl Floong, borrowed from ancient Fleek.

In Use: “Bunchy had acquired so many names — neighbors called him one thing, different family members referred to him by other names like Sparky, Blackie, Onyx, and he’d come to the family with a foster name — that the pet sitter often suffered lethflooflogica and referred first to the other animals’ names before landing on Bunchy.”

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Floofitorium

Floofitorium (floofinition) – Hall, building, room, or space used for a gathering of animals. Origins: 1640, borrowed from the Flooftin, from floof “animal” + -tōrium, suffix of places.

In Use: “The way the cats and dogs took over the new house’s sun room, it was immediatly referred to as the floofitorium.”

In Use: “Although not the sunniest room, the spacious living room was carpeted and quiet, with several large houseplants, encouraging the household pets to treat it as their own floofitorium during late autumn and winter.”

In Use: “Her home office was a tiny place, but the animals all crowded in with Priscilla, leading her to laughingly tell others that she worked in a floofitorium.”

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Frida’s Wandering Thoughts

We share our house with two floofs. Both are cats, strays that decided to call our place home. One is Papi, the ginger blade, also referred to as Meep and Butter Butt. The alpha cat is Tucker (pronounced Tuck-ah), a black and white mixed fur cat with shades of Maine Coon. He’s older by several years.

Tucker has recently taken to not responding to me. Not responding, that is, until I mention Papi’s name. I can and do say, “What’s up, Tucker, are you hungry, what do you want,” etc., and get nothing. But if I say, “What is it, Papi?” Whoa, Tucker turns and marches over.

In my mind, I attribute this whole thing to Tucker trying to trick me into thinking he’s Papi. When I call Tucker by Papi’s name, Tucker is thinking, “I did it! He thinks I’m the other cat.”

As anyone who lives with an animal knows, this is basic flooflighting.

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Floofcake

Floofcake (floofinition) – 1. Term of endearment for a sweet animal. Origins: 1829

In Use: “Rachel often referred to her chubby yorkie as her floofcake, an expression which the dog accepted but did not like.”

2. Wrestling move by many animals to dominate others by throwing their dead weight down on them. Origins: 1932, United States

In Use: “No more than twelve pounds when she was wet, Caramel would put herself on top of Cassie and pin Cassie in bed like Caramel weighed a hundred pounds.”

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Floofstruse

Floofstruse (floofinition) – An animal who is difficult to comprehend, predict, or understand. Origins: December 1, 2024, Ashlandia, Oregon, USA.

In Use: “Even after ten years of living with Corky, he was a floofstruse enigma, alternatively loving, sweet, and friendly, and then sullen, remote, and sad.”

In Use: “Bob always told others that Lucy was floofstruse, usually happy, sweet, and playful, but then another side emerged, and she became Lucifer.”

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Vagafloof

Vagafloof (floofinition) – An animal who enjoys wandering. Origins: 15th century Middle Floofish.

In Use: “As much as he cringed from what could happen to Turbo, Patrick accepted that his pet was a vagfloof, familiar to all of the neighbors in a radius of several blocks.”

In Use: “Although now a fair-weather floof, Mouse (a misnomer if ever there was one) was a vagafloof in the house, visiting Carol while she worked in the office, and periodically checking on all rooms and activities thoughout the day.”

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Floofingent

Floofingent (floofinition) – A decision or activity conditional on an animal’s mood, activity, behavior, or decision. Origins: 15th century, Middle Flooflish, borrowed from Middle Froof & Medfloofal Latin.

In Use: “Invited out for a holiday dinner, Bob hedged, telling others that his cat seemed down, so his attendance was floofingent on her.”

In Use: “Barb’s acceptance of men in her life was largely floofingent on her dogs’ reaction to the guys she brought home. If the dogs said no, the relationship was done.”

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Telephloofny

Telephloofny (floofinition) – A person who speaks to animals in conversation as if they’re having a phone conversation with them. Origins: Oregon, United States, 2024.

In Use: ‘Taylor didn’t now when she became telephloofny — was it because of her mother — maybe — but as she went through the house, dressing, eating, cleaning, she spoke with her cats, dog, birds, and fish, telling them her plans, rejoicing over a change of the weather for the better (“Sunshine and blue skies, and look at you all, already in position to enjoy it”), finishing by asking each, “Do you have any special plans for the day? Digging up a plant? Just floozing?”‘

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Flooftaposition

Flooftaposition (floofinition) Positioning of two or more creatures in close proximity that highlights their differences in demeanor, form, or markings. Origins: 2024, worldwide web.

In Use: “Kittens or puppies rambunctiously cavorting around a stoic and patient mother is one of the classic flooftapositions familiar to people.”

In Use: “The flooftaposition of floofchievous ferrets playing around their calm feline brother has captivated the Internet.”

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