Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Monday’s floof has a pretty face.
Tuesday’s floof likes to run and race.
The floof born on Wednesday has an appetite for love,
While a floof coming to life on Thursday is a gift from above.
Friday’s floof is fond of the sun,
And Saturday’s floof exists just for fun.
But Sunday’s floof has a little of all,
Enjoying life and having a ball.
-Ancient Floofverb
Floofcode (floofinition) – 1. An agreement for behavior and cooperation between floofs or between humans and a floof or floofs.
In Use: “According to the floofcode, if Lucy fell asleep on Bob, Bob would stay motionless and not disturb his fur friend until the floof awoke of their own accord.”
In Use: “Although Sam would swat Kay to warn her, adhering to the floofcode, he never employed his claws.”
2. Method of communicating for humans with animals, or the converse.
In Use: “Rosa and her smart little puppy’s floofcode included her saying, “Beep beep,” meant he needed to move out her path or her chair.”
In Use: “Jade, rumored to be the world’s smartest cat, developed her own floofcode to deal with Brenda. Knocking things off the dresser at two AM meant she wanted out; throwing kitty litter out of her box onto the floor meant she was upset.”
Flooftwin (floofinition) – Person and animal who bear startling resemblance to each other. Origins: 1960s United States.
In Use: “Among some of the stereofloofs that exist is the meme that bulldogs and their male owners are frequently flooftwins.”
In Use: “Sometimes, in response to a perception that a person and their pet are flooftwins, the human will start dressing the animal in the same style of clothes that they wear.”
Infloofition (floofinition) – The ability to know without direct evidence, rational thought, or inference, what an animal will do. Origins: Middle Flooflish, from the Flooftin, first noted use in 1600.
In Use: “Connie’s infloofition caused her to sigh, put down her novel, and head for the door. Rascal had gone out through the pet door six minutes before, and a fight was overdue.”
In Use: “Taylor put their plate down and went to fetch a glass of tea when infloofition made them rush back to their food just as Munchkin arrived to make it hers.”
Lethflooflogica (floofinition) – Inability to remember an animal’s correct name. Origins: Attributed to Carl Floong, borrowed from ancient Fleek.
In Use: “Bunchy had acquired so many names — neighbors called him one thing, different family members referred to him by other names like Sparky, Blackie, Onyx, and he’d come to the family with a foster name — that the pet sitter often suffered lethflooflogica and referred first to the other animals’ names before landing on Bunchy.”
Floofitorium (floofinition) – Hall, building, room, or space used for a gathering of animals. Origins: 1640, borrowed from the Flooftin, from floof “animal” + -tōrium, suffix of places.
In Use: “The way the cats and dogs took over the new house’s sun room, it was immediatly referred to as the floofitorium.”
In Use: “Although not the sunniest room, the spacious living room was carpeted and quiet, with several large houseplants, encouraging the household pets to treat it as their own floofitorium during late autumn and winter.”
In Use: “Her home office was a tiny place, but the animals all crowded in with Priscilla, leading her to laughingly tell others that she worked in a floofitorium.”
We share our house with two floofs. Both are cats, strays that decided to call our place home. One is Papi, the ginger blade, also referred to as Meep and Butter Butt. The alpha cat is Tucker (pronounced Tuck-ah), a black and white mixed fur cat with shades of Maine Coon. He’s older by several years.
Tucker has recently taken to not responding to me. Not responding, that is, until I mention Papi’s name. I can and do say, “What’s up, Tucker, are you hungry, what do you want,” etc., and get nothing. But if I say, “What is it, Papi?” Whoa, Tucker turns and marches over.
In my mind, I attribute this whole thing to Tucker trying to trick me into thinking he’s Papi. When I call Tucker by Papi’s name, Tucker is thinking, “I did it! He thinks I’m the other cat.”
As anyone who lives with an animal knows, this is basic flooflighting.
Floofcake (floofinition) – 1. Term of endearment for a sweet animal. Origins: 1829
In Use: “Rachel often referred to her chubby yorkie as her floofcake, an expression which the dog accepted but did not like.”
2. Wrestling move by many animals to dominate others by throwing their dead weight down on them. Origins: 1932, United States
In Use: “No more than twelve pounds when she was wet, Caramel would put herself on top of Cassie and pin Cassie in bed like Caramel weighed a hundred pounds.”
Floofstruse (floofinition) – An animal who is difficult to comprehend, predict, or understand. Origins: December 1, 2024, Ashlandia, Oregon, USA.
In Use: “Even after ten years of living with Corky, he was a floofstruse enigma, alternatively loving, sweet, and friendly, and then sullen, remote, and sad.”
In Use: “Bob always told others that Lucy was floofstruse, usually happy, sweet, and playful, but then another side emerged, and she became Lucifer.”
Vagafloof (floofinition) – An animal who enjoys wandering. Origins: 15th century Middle Floofish.
In Use: “As much as he cringed from what could happen to Turbo, Patrick accepted that his pet was a vagfloof, familiar to all of the neighbors in a radius of several blocks.”
In Use: “Although now a fair-weather floof, Mouse (a misnomer if ever there was one) was a vagafloof in the house, visiting Carol while she worked in the office, and periodically checking on all rooms and activities thoughout the day.”
Michael Seidel, writer 