Tag: animal humor

Aflooessment

Aflooessment (floofinition) – Inspection and evaluation by an animal of another’s accomplishment or completed task.

In Use: “After Michael completed the jigsaw puzzle, Tucker completed his aflooessment of it, and then napped upon it, which is the official mark of approval.”

In Use: “Many floofs enjoy surprise aflooessments and will come check on people as they’re making the bed in the morning, ensuring that humans are upholding the floof’s high standards.”

In Use: “Always concerned that their people are eating well, house floofs will often attempt to taste the people’s food so they can conduct an aflooessment, but worrying about what grade their food will receive, people will obstruct the floofs’ tests.”

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Floofclipse

Floofclipse (floofinition) – An animal of such qualities or presence that it overshadows the rest. Origins: WorldWideWeb, 2024.

In Use: “Luna was a huge dog, with markings like a Holstein heifer. But it was his personality and intelligence, the way he looked and listened, as though he thought about what was being said, that really made him a floofclipse.”

In Use: “A ginormous but intelligent and sweet cat, Barnaby was a floofclipse that intimidated others with his presence, but he loved playing with anything and anyone above anything except lounging with other creatures.”

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Metafloofphosis

Metafloofphosis (floofinition) 1. A person who imitates animal behavior and sounds so often that they give the impression that they’re becoming an animal themselves. Origins: 15th century Fleek.

In Use: “Julie’s habits of barking to her dog in conversation and getting down on her hands and knees to play with him worried her husband, who often began telling others, ‘I think she’s going through a metafloofphosis and wouldn’t be surprised if she woke up as a dog one day.”

2. An animal’s change of attitude, behavior, or looks. Origins: 19th century American Floofish.

In Use: “Mahommes arrived as a young feral cat whose furious strikes and angry expression shouted, ‘Mess with me and I WILL DESTROY YOU.’ But with patience, food, treats, soft words, and time, he went into a metafloofphosis and emerged as a sweet, loving boy who enjoy laps and playing.”

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Confloofdant

Confloofdant (floofinition) – An animal to whom others entrust secrets. Origins: 1646 Middle Floofish

In Use: “The man was a paid killer but the only one who knew this was his cat, Stormy. The little black cat had been saved from the side of the road during a storm. He’d rescued the feline after killing an abusive husband for a woman in need. And that same night was when Stormy became Wilson’s confloofdant.” Excerpt from the novel, Confloofdant: The Cat Who Knew Too Much.

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Melfloofmene

Melfloofmene (floofinition) – One of nine Floouses who acts as a patron of arts, music, and creativity. Origins: Floofo-Roman floofthology, circa 8th century Common Floof (CF).

In Use: “When she began writing her novel, Sherman, her big dog, acted like Melfloofmene, going on long walks with her to think through her plot and characters, remaining by her side in her small home office as she wrote and edited, and forcing her to take breaks to feed him.”

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Cryptofloofency

Cryptofloofency (floofinition) – Mostly related to pets, animal activities, behaviors, and sounds which seem unique, mysterious, or unusual to other, most especially people who live with the animals. Origins: 1983, United States.

In Use: “One huge learning curve for people extending hospitality to floofs is cryptofloofency, strange things the fur critters like to do, such as galloping through rooms, sleeping in sinks, singing at midnight, opening doors, and going nuts over squirrels and other critters seen in their domain.”

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Ventfloofloquism

Ventfloofloquism (floofinition) An animal’s production of sounds in such a way that locating the true source seems impossible. A creature practicing ventfloofloquism is a ventfloofoquist. Origins: 1775, Flooftin; vent (to speak) + floof (animal) + loquism (location elsewhere).

In Use: “Kelley heard Prism meowing but either the little furball was a ventfloofoquist or he was meowing and then darting off to another place to confuse her. And it was working; she was confused — confused, exasfloofrated, and annoyed.”

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Floofkaesque

Floofkaesque (floofinition)– Weird, surreal, or unusual noises or actions done by animals. Origins: 1990s Internet, based on Kafkaesque, a word derived from the writing style of Franz Kafka (1883-1924)

In Use: “When Oaou first joined the household, the small ginger whirlwind would come to the room entry where his people and bark like a small poodle, squawk like a parrot, or issue another floofkaesque noise, causing constant wonder about the little cat’s floofstory.”

In Use: “The crow was already friendly if floofkaesque, bringing shiny gifts such as metal tableware, bracelets, single socks, and plastic storage lids in return for the snacks Dee set out for him every morning and evening.”

Recent Use: “Social media provides many floofkaesque scenes, such as a video of a cat, dog, deer, and duck sitting together on the front porch of a person who has no pets.”

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Misanfloof

Misanfloof (floofinition) – Person or animal who avoids the company or society of animals. Origins: Greek, first used in the stated meaning in 1683.

In Use: “She thought he might be a person she wanted to spend her life with until she decided to adopt a puppy and learned that he was a misanfloof.”

In Use: “Karen loved having a pet floof but somehow always managed to adopt one who was a misanfloof who angered whenever any other animal of any sort was around.”

Recent Use: “His latest movie was about a misanfloof who becomes a prophet surrounded by animals after a climate change disaster.”

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Floofpell

Floofpell (floofinition) – Urge or drive forward or on by an animal’s exertion, coercion, or insistence to do something. Origins: from Middle English, derived from Latin. First noted use 15th century.

In Use: “Intimidated by the cat, the dog was floofpelled to surrender the pet bed, even though he outweighed her by fifty pounds.”

In Use: “Many cats seem to learn early how to floofpell people to get up and let them in or out of the house, or to feed them in the middle of the night.”

Recent Use: “Animals often effectively employ ‘doe eyes’, a hopeful, charming gaze, to floofpell people to do things for them.”

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