Tag: animal humor

Floofumnavigate

Floofumnavigate (floofinition) – 1. To go around an animal blocking a path. Origins: First use observed in England, late 1940s

In Use: “Most housefloofs scurry to safety when the vacuum cleaner or sweeper is powered up, but Onyx barely cracked open an eye, forcing Barb to floofumnavigate Onyx while cleaning.”

In Use: “Whenever meals were being prepared, Bishop planted his large body in the kitchen’s entrance to observe, forcing everyone to floofumnavigate the white dog’s mountain of a body.”

2. To follow an animal as though it is a guide.

In Use: “Floofumnavigating the yard behind Bailey was always fun and different as the dog zigzagged the landscape, nose down, sucking up smells and looking for sources.”

In Use: “Cookie was a superb mother, floofumnavigating the room as her kittens began their first waddling explorations under her unflinching vigil.”

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Floofsize

Floofsize (floofinition) – To have something upended or knocked over by an animal. Origins: late 1890s, first noted in Mississippi.

In Use: “Karol the Terrorcat walked along the dresser, leaving floofsized bottles and items on the floor in her wake.”

In Use: “Galumpfh, originally named Wilson by the family’s youngest member, often floofsized furniture when he galloped through the house, shaking the floor with his floofnormous thunderpaws.”

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Infloofpacitate

Infloofpacitate (floofinition) – Movement, positions, or activities limited by an animal or animals’ presence. Origins: Early Common Floof Era, from Middle Floofish. First noted use in England, circa 600 CE.

In Use: “Many people find themselves infloofpacitated by an unwillingness to disturb a furry friend napping on their body”

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Apfloofrition

Apfloofrition (floofinition) – A rare or unusual appearance of an animal.

In Use: “People enjoy sharing photos and videos on Flooftube of apfloofritions, particularly cats showing up in their house, when they don’t own a cat!”

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Floofcast

Floofcast (floofinition) – 1. A production about an animal available to the public for entertainment or informational purposes. The production may be posted to the net on social media or presented via cable or satellite communications.

In Use: “Many social media users end up creating and sharing interesting or amusing floofcasts about their pets or rescues and share them on the net, such as Owl Kitty.”

2. An advisory from an animal that something is on the verge of happening.

In Use: “At 9:03 AM one Sunday morning, Sandi’s dog leaped up and urgently barked. Then he grabbed Sandi’s hand and lead her to another room. An instant later, a large tree crashed into the room where Sandi had been sitting. If not for Barkley’s floofcast, Sandi may have been injured or killed.”

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Floofbit (2)

Floofbit (floofinition) – An animal who seems to have a job to make people get up and move around. Origins: 2007, Ohio, United States, Facebook

In Use: “When her son suggested that Karla needed a Fitbit to remind her to move, she pointed to her young dogs and replied, ‘Don’t worry, I got Crockett and Tubbs to keep me moving.’ As if that was a cue, Tubbs sprang up and started barking and racing around, which naturally drew Crockett into the vortex, and made Karla get up and go to the back door, yelling, ‘You two take that into the backyard.'”

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Tacifloof

Tacifloof (floofinition) – An animal who is mostly silent. Origins, Floofish, circa 1734, Flooflund.

In Use: “Yolanda’s big Maine tacifloof let out an angry tiger’s growl in the backyard, bringing her out in time to watch Kosmo chase a big black bear out of the yard.”

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Floofichor

Floofichor (floofinition) – Smells carried by or discharged by animals which triggers memories in others. Origins: ancient middle Floofish, first mentioned in Tales of a Traveling Floof, thirteenth century.

In Use: “Charlemagne pranced into the house’s mudroom from the rain, and with a shake of his thick wet fur, released floofichor which brought smiles to Pamela as memories of Huskies from her past trotted into her mind.”

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Nonfloofpete Agreement

Nonfloofpete Agreement (floofinition) Agreement between animals not to fight and to cooperate when socializing or interacting with humans. Origins: 18th Century Floofgress Instruments for Successful Living Among Humans (ISLAH).

In Use: “Humans don’t know about nonfloofpete agreements and are suprised when the cats and dogs and other creatures sleep and play together, sharing food, treats, and lap time.”

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