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Joie de Floof (floofinition) – The intense joy or sense of vitality that an animal can deliver in a situation. Origins: France, 1889
In Use: “Gadget was a tripod but with a joie de floof that overwhelmed all in his sphere, and the videos of him soon had millions of hits.”
In Use: “After a tiring day, Duke’s singular joie de floof revitalized Dija and helped her shed the frustrations and irritations of that enforced pastime called ‘work’.”
Floofpes (floofinition)– Internet slang. Literally, ‘floof tropes’, overused cliches and outmoded themes about animals. Origins: Worldwide Web, early twenty-first century.
In Use: “One floofpes children often heard as they grew up was that they were ‘fighting like cats and dogs’, which many of them doubt as they see videos or personally witness dogs and cats getting along very well.”
Neofloofthic (floofinition)– Belonging to a previous animal and now outmoded. Origins: 1865, Sir John Floofbock.
In Use: “She thought that the dog’s toys were neofloofthic relics of another era when she began taking care of her daughter’s cat for two weeks but on the first day, the cat was attacking everything that the dog used to play with.”
Pecfloofniary (floofinition) – Of or related to the money spent on an animal, or an animal’s worth.
In Use: “After Jared spent money on his floof’s medical needs, many people focused on the situation’s pecfloofniary aspect, but to him, his dog’s companionship was priceless, and he would prostitute himself if it brought in the money for his dog’s medicine, surgery, and x-rays.”
Floofzantine (floofinition) 1. A complex animal. Origins: first noted on the Internet in the early twenty-first century.
In Use: “Little Serenity was a floofzantine, one moment a peaceful sweetheart, twisting into yowling destructor without even the benefit of a three-second countdown, making it difficult to engage with her for more than fifteen minutes at a time.”
2. An intricate or complex arrangement for animals.
In Use: “Living with fifteen rescued cats, a floofzantine structure was set up for the cats’ entertainment — which also entertained the homeowner.”
Confloofgence (floofinition) – The coming together of floofs; a unity among floofs. Origins: first noted use in New Floofland, 1860.
In Use: “The dog, cat, and kitten sitting together on the kitchen floor waiting to be fed was a moment of pleasing and historic confloofgence for Kamala, who never thought she’d see harmony among the floofs.”
Imfloofervise (floofinition) – 1. To informally make or arrange something for an animal without planning. Origins: 2020, worldwide web.
In Use: “Her floofie looked chilly, so Millie took off her sweater and imfloofervised a blanket for him.”
In Use: “Rescuing a kitten, Marcus had to imfloofervise a carrier to take the tiny sick animal home and give her care.”
2. An impromptu singing or acting performance by an animal.
In Use: “Simone ordered her dog to stop barking, and the dog responded by imfloofervising being shot, opening his eyes wide and collapsing on his side.”
In Use: “Jamal’s bird often surprised guests with imfloofervised comedy routines about what the dog was doing, when Jamal didn’t have a dog.”
Floofyfest (floofinition) – A gathering of animals to celebrate the joy of life, the happiness of freedom, and the need for independence. Floofstorians believe it to have originally been organized by cats. Its time and place remains secret. No human is said to have ever witnessed Floofyfest. To date, the only insight that Floofyfest ever took place is from mentions in the remnants of The Chronicles found at Floofhenge. Some floofologists suggest that Floofhenge was the secret site of the first Floofyfest. Origins: circa 3100 BCE, old Floofish.
In Use: “Humper disappeared for three days to attend Floofyfest, and even though she knew her family was devastated by her extended absence, the opportunity to attend Floofyfest was too great to pass.”
Infloofduction (floofinition) – The process of leading an animal or making it known to another person or animal via a formal act, announcement, or recommendation. Origin:
In Use: “The challenge of welcoming a new animal or family member to a household can often be mitigated by a patient and well-thought out infloofduction.”
In Use: “Sharon B. was prepared for cautious infloofductions between the new kittens and her old Tom, Catmandu, but Catmandu heard and smelled the little ones and began grooming them like he’d given birth to them himself.”
Floofartaphily (floofinition) – The collecting of knickknacks, artwork, trinkets, and materials related to or depicting animals. Origins: Circa 2000, Internet.
In Use: “Carolyn enjoyed floofartaphily, with little statutes of cats, dogs, geese, and cows abounding in shadow boxes or decorating shelves, but her passion were pigs, and there were two hundred items featuring pigs, including paintings, drawings, pillows with pigs on them, statues, and salt and paper shakers, in her living room.”
Michael Seidel, writer 