Floofsticate

Floofsticate (floofinition) – To live among animals or with animals, or to live a life involving animals. Not to be confused with floofticate. Related: rusticate.

In use: “The COVID-19 pandemic saw a surge in pet ownership as more humans chose to floofsticate with animals, a recognition of the warmth, comfort, and friendship that animals offer.”

Floofstress

Floofstress (floofinition) 1. Force or influence caused by an animal.

In use: “Joan and Carrie would love to travel more but the floofstress brought on by adopting several special needs animals kept them at home.”

2. Pressure or anxiety brought on by an animal.

In use: “Whenever he’d not seen his cats for an hour, he went and found them, assuring himself that they were okay, alleviating the floofstress which he felt.”

3. Female animal who has power, authority, or ownership.

In use: “Moose outweighed his mother by two to one but she was the house floofstress, and he obeyed her just like the other ‘normal’ sized felines and dogs.”

Floof Squared

Floof Squared (floofinition) – Economic principle that costs involving animals will be exponentially larger than reasonably anticipated.

In use: “Knowing of the floof squared rule, Ron expected pet food to be expected, but with recent inflation, the costs of feeding his cats and dog were through the roof.”

Floofship

Floofship (floofinition) – 1. A title of respect used to address an animal of regal manner or high standing.

In use: “Three cats shared the home with four days but only one cat was always addressed as ‘Your Floofship’ in recognition of her status within the floofhold.”

2. The state of affectionate companionship between animal and human, or between two or more animals.

In use: “Jennifer’s children had grown and begun their own families, and she’d been twice divorced, but now she found floofship with her dog, Uhtred, to be a most rewarding experience.”

3. A vessel or conveyance animals use to travel.

In use: “Every new moon, a floofship landed on Earth, delivering new animals to the planet, and taking others away for those ready to leave. So it had been since the first dinosaurs used a floofship to leave when they learned an asteroid was going to hit Earth over sixty-six million years ago.”

Flooftortion

Flooftortion (floofinition) – The skill of bending and twisting one’s limbs body into strange and unnatural positions to accommodate actions or functions associated with an animal.

In use: “Once he opened a can, the floofs were right there, waiting to be fed, underfoot, forcing him into flooftortions to avoid stepping on them or tripping over them as their meal was delivered.”

Floofarm

Floofarm (floofinition) – Medical condition where an arm becomes stiff, sore, or numb because of the unwillingness to move it because of an animal. Related: Floorleg, flooffoot, floofbutt

In use: “Despite a serious case of floofarm setting in (and getting ravenous and having a bladder screaming for sweet release), Rikki refused to move because she didn’t want to disturb the puppy napping in her arms.”

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