Flooftirement
Flooftirement (floofinition) – 1. Withdrawing from activities, work, or social commitments to spend time with animals.
In use: “After more wearying, depressing news, he went into flooftirement with his cat, dog, and a book, figuring the world could go on without him but he couldn’t go on without them.”
2. An animal’s withdrawl or change of status from a working position or occupation.
In use: “He’d been a working dog, a service dog which gave his person needed emotional support, and when she passed on, he gratefully accepted flooftirement to a quiet home.”
BFT
BFT (floofinition) – Floof shorthand for ‘Begging for treats’.
In use: “Tucker told Papi, ‘Stand back, kid, and watch a master BFT.’ Settling before his human, Tucker began with the big eyes, then magnified it into an intense gaze. As his human continued ignoring him, Tucker added a loud, Merow,’ and tacked on a purr like an idling diesel engine.”
WTF
WTF (floofinition) – Shorthand slang for ‘What the floof’, an expression people with animals often employ when they see what the animals have done.
In use: “Seeing photos of pet mischief and destruction wrought by cats and kittens, dogs and puppies, and goats and birds on the net, commenters responded with laughing emoticons and ‘WTF’.”
Slinky Floofy
Slinky Floofy (floofinition) – A common exercise routine used by my animals, which calls for the animal to stretch its limbs while lowering itself to the ground. In its most basic configuration, the animal stretches either the rear or front limbs first, followed by the other end, will lowering their body as far as possible.
In use: “Quinn was a master of the slinky floofy, almost flattening his chest to the ground as he splayed his paws and stretched his front legs, and then leaning forward, lowering his rear as he extended his rear rear legs to their maximum.”
FloofFlock
FloofFlock (floofinition) – Video-focused social floofworking service which that provides short formats produced by animals for animals.
In use: “Many animal videos on FloofFlock center around pranks that pets play on their humans, such as hiding items like car keys, prescription glasses, and phones, or stealing socks from the laundry.”
Floofcaster
Floofcaster (floofinition) – 1. A person who predicts what an animal will do.
In use: “From years of observation, Jeff had become an adept floofcaster regarding the backyard interactions between the neighbor’s cat, the squirrel, the jays, crows, and his dog, Pixie.”
2. An animal who makes predictions.
In use: “Whether by hearing or some psychic abilities, Merlin the Cat always not just knew someone was coming, but the floofcaster showed by behavior who was coming, bolting to hide if it was a stranger (or Meg, who he couldn’t stand for reasons he never gave), and rushing to the door to greet friends, family, and those deemed worthy of is affection.”
Floofslide
Floofslide (floofinition) – 1. Procrastination caused by an animal’s presence, conditions, or involvement.
In use: “Cary’s chores suffered a floofslide as the puppy unmade the bed while she made it, then diverted her attention with antics involving the cat, Mystery (who still hadn’t wholly accepted the puppy as a worthwhile housemate), a ball, and a spider.”
2. A deterioration in an animal’s situation or health.
In use: “Despite everything which he did, Marvel’s floofside continued, forcing Ray to consider the inevitable, that Marvel was not going to get better.”
3. A maneuver in which an animal slides over a surface, such as a hardwood or tile floor.
In use: “The two cats chased one another, claws scrabbling on the floor as they executed long floofslides, changed directions, and bolted down the hall.”
Flooflan
Flooflan (floofinition) – An animal devised language created to help them communicate with humans.
In use: “After using telefloofy to communicate with the dog and cat in his new house, Bowser discovered that the humans couldn’t comprehend his thoughts, forcing him into using flooflan, which was mostly, IHO, just silly barking, as the humans didn’t seem to understand that, either!”
Michael Seidel, writer 