Haifloof #140
Floofstock
Floofstock (floofinition) – 1. Supplies stored for animals’ use. Origins: First noted in the 1897 pamphlet, “Mandatory Requirements for Keeping & Tending Floofstock”.
Un Use: “Learning their animals’ eating habits can drive people to have a large floofstock to satisfy their picky fur friends.”
2. Legendary music venue held by animals, featuring such acts as Canned Floof, Ten Floofs After, and the Grateful Floofs.
In Use: “The First Floofstock Music & Treats Festival was hyped as a three-day conflooftration of good purrs and mellow woofs and attracted more than half a million animals, including elephants and a giraffe.”
Floofcedarian
Floofcedarian (floofinition) – Someone learning about the rudimentary needs of animals, especially housepets. Origins: floofcedary “floof primer” (going back to Middle Flooflish floofcedary, derived from Middle Flooftin floofcedārium). First known use, 1703 – “Practickal Advice for Floofcedarians”.
In Use: “After rescuing a vocal kitten from a heavy, Sly and Benji became overnight floofcedarians, chasing information on the net about to care for the first pet either of them had ever had.”
Floofmulus
Floofmulus (floofinition) – An animal’s private secretary or personal attendant. Origins: Floofman, from Flooftin for servant. First use noted in print 1854, “The Travails of A Royal Floofmulus”.
In Use: “Two days after adopting a rescue cat, Becca realized she was a floofmulus, scheduling checkups and planning meals while ensuring she’s safe, comfortable, and entertained.”
Floofline
Floofline (floofinition) – An imposed date or time by which things must be done for animals. Origins: Unknown, first cited in writing in 1885,“A Feline’s Guide to A Well-Managed Household”.
In Use: “Abig-gal joined the house on February first, and established her flooflines for fresh water, breakfast, lunch, supper, dinner, tea, snacks, treats, and desserts by February second.”
In Use: ‘In Chapter 1 of “A Feline’s Guide to A Well-Managed Household”, Queen Florence decreed, “Humans must be made to understand that flooflines, such regular feeding times, must be established and consistently met if there is to be order and happiness among the household pets.”‘
Floofteel
Floofteel (floofinition) – An animal who exhibits high class, or aristocratic mannerisms and behavior. Origins: 1603, Flooflish derived from Flench, itself originating with Old Flooftin, floof, meaning a furry creature. Traced to ‘gentle floof’ which grew into its current form, floofteel.
In Use: “A long-haired floofteel, Cora received guests visiting her owner, JaMykael, like she was a queen meeting subjects there to pay homage.”
Floofswoggle
Floofswoggle (floofinition) To trick or deceive an animal. Origins: Southern United States, 17 century. First noted in print in A Human Guide to Fascinating Floofs & Their Flummoxing Fancies.
In Use: “One recent net trend shows people floofswoggling dogs with the ball trick.”
In Use: “People cutting cakes made to look like a cat in front of a cat is an example of how people entertain themselves by floofswoggling their housefloofs.”
Rattlefloof
Rattlefloof (floofinition) – An animal who behaves in a flighty or silly manner. Origins: 1707, from The Book of Floofs & Other Mysteries.
In Use: “Just as the house settled for a quiet post-dinner reading and talking, the rattlefloof known as Digit galloped into the room, leaping over tables and chairs and non-stop talking before sprinting away with the sound of claws scrambling for traction on the hardwood floor.”
Gesfloofilate
Gesfloofilate (floofinition) – 1. Using non-verbal language to emphasize commands or orders given to animals. Origins: circa 1809, Flooftin roots, gesfloofulatus.
In Use: “Finding the cat on the kitchen counter preparing to take some cooling bacon, Cory shouted “No, Trouble, get down,” and gesfloofilated by snapping her fingers and stamping a foot.”
2. Non-verbal motions animals employ to ask favor or help from humans.
In Use: “Stopping by Josh’s desk, Suggs gesfloofilated for attention with a wagging tail and raised ears and paw.”
Tendflooftious
Tendflooftious (floofinition) – Marked by a tendency in favor of animals. Origins: 1874, probably of Floofman origins but first noted in print in Flooflish in that same year.
In Use: “With three cats, two dogs, a bird, and several fish, his decision making was often tendflooftious, putting concern for his non-human companions above his own.
In Use: “Her love for her dogs drove a tendflooftious attitude, so all of whatever she ate was prepared with an eye to sharing with her beagle and collie.”
Michael Seidel, writer 