I’ve had about twenty-four pages left to edit and revise in the novel in progress for about a month. Reason exists for that number: I keep re-writing and revising the first ten pages of one chapter. I’ve done so six times. After the sixth time — I’m a slow thinker — I realized that I didn’t know enough about the two characters and their relationship.
He was the main character and I’d been writing about him for months. His actions, thinking, and talking filled most of the 420 pages already revised. The other character had never shown up but was obliquely referenced. He was her son, but she wasn’t really his mother. He didn’t know that when he was young, only learning much later in life. He knew she resented him but didn’t know why. He thought he’d murdered her, but it turned out that she hadn’t been killed. Yes, it’s complicated.
After fleshing these things out more, I suddenly realized, oh, they hate each other.
It surprised me. I thought they were hostile and contemptuous toward one another but hadn’t respected the true depths of despise between them. She was secretive and using him, and he didn’t know why, but he didn’t like her and didn’t trust her. After leaving home, he’d researched his ‘mother’ and discovered little of the truth about her, except he hadn’t murdered her, that she’d framed him and she wasn’t dead at all, but had abandoned him and his sister, hiding her existence from them. All this traumatized his sister when she was a child, who responded by ostracizing her brother and becoming a cat. (I told you, it’s complicated.)
Now that I feel better about my understanding of the two, I tore out the chapter to rewrite it again. Then I’ll revise, and when I feel like I can go on, I will. Then I’ll read the novel again for more revision and see how the newest effort holds up.
Yes, it’s Tuesday, November 14, 2023. We’re approacing November’s midpoint. I have predictions: here in Ashlandia, where the seasons come and go and come and go, will get colder, and the snow line will descend closer to the valley floor, and the sun will be up there but cold fronts will mock its heat.
Inspired by clutching chilly fog and bored, drizzling rain, the temperature is 51 F and might squeak up to 57 F today. Sunrise was at 6:58 AM and darkness will return to the stage at 4:51 PM. Yep, becoming dark earlier as the days chase down the year’s end.
Ah, in news, I see that Truth Social has lost almost 75 million in two years. Clap your hands if you’re surprised that a Trump endeavor lost money.
Had a good laugh over the Supreme Court’s toothless Ethics Code. They use word salad like, “A Justice should avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety in all activities,” and “A Justice may engage in extrajudicial activities that are consistent with the obligations of the Judicial Office.” Such nebulous terminology tries to pretend that they’re taking this seriously — look at those serious words! — but they leave them right where they are. What is ‘impropriety’? We each have a definition for it; the way many Democrats and liberals view Justice Thomas’s activites were outside of the ethics expected of a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. He and convervatives didn’t see it like that. So, nothing resolved.
I know, I know, I should be an optimist and say, baby steps, or anything is better than nothing. But I’ve seen this series before and believe I know how it’ll end.
The writing part of me feels pressed for time and energy; the writer doesn’t want much to do with the world outside my wife and cats at the moment. Maybe that’s why The Neurons plugged Linda Ronstadt’s terrific cover of the Rolling Stones’s song, “Tumbling Dice” into the morning mental music stream (Trademark sinking). While aware and considerate of my writing aspirations and the schedule and efforts it generates, they still come to me with offers and requests. And me, being a middle child who wants to help everyone, feels guilty when I can’t accomodate them all. Plus I’m flattered that people trust me for help or advice, or requests my company.
Yeah, if that’s all I have to worry about, I’m doing good, right? And should be happy that others care for me or want my company. Well, that’d be logical, and the passion of writing spits on logic.
Carry on, positive and strong, and lean forward for one another. We can’t make it alone. (Yeah, funny that I say that after complaining that I can’t be left alone to write. SMH. It is a complex existence.) Coffee has jumped into the morning melee and I’m ready to partake. Here’s the music.
Despite a cloudy presence, it’s a sunny Tuesday, November 7, 2023. An election day in many precincts, we’re not voting on anything this year in Ashlandia, where the voters are blue with purple tints and mostly retired professionals. It’s 49 F now with plans to burst into the low fifties, perhaps even hitting up to 53 F. Woo – break out the shorts and tank tops.
Do people still wear tank tops?
My clothes amused me today after I dressed. They were so funny, cracking jokes among themselves. Yeah, I need to say that information differently: The Neurons pointed out how old my wardrobe is, amusing me. Like, the jacket was purchased in San Francisco at Macy’s in December, 2005, during a trip to the city from our new home in Oregon to visit with friends and hear some blues at a club. Pants, underwear, and socks are fairly new at four ~ five years, but my brown Nunn Bush shoes are over twenty-five years old, which strikes me as impossible. And they still fit and are amazingly comfortable. Just a little older than the shoes is the Arrows shirt, purchased at the Naval Air Station Moffett Field Exchange back in 1996.
Weird what memories stay sharp in the mind. Adding it all up, I’m an old clothes man who will never be accused of being a fashion plate. Oh, well.
I keep finding pieces of kibble at odd places in the house, such as the bedroom hallway, in the living room by the television, and in the office. I normally pick them up and toss them away. Yesterday, though, I saw Papi, the ginger blade, come up, sniff the kibble, look around, and then head for the feeding station. That put it all into context: these kibble pieces are not lost or misplaced, but precisely located elements of the KPS, the shorthand for the Kibble Positioning System. Consulting the KPS provides the floof about food locations. The floofs have such amazing technology, yeah?
The Neurons knocked me back with the music they slotted into the morning mental music stream (Trademark fishy). I was in the kitchen, minding my own business, getting on with needs. Having fed the house floofs, I’m preparing my own brekkie when I hear, “Words can’t bring me down.” Within a heartbeat or two, I’m hearing more of Christina Aguilera singing “Beautiful” from 2002.
Why this song today? I asked Der Neurons.
No, they didn’t respond, but I knew that it was about words. First, words in the news about polls, politics, and elections; then words about wars, killings, and death; and finally, words in my novel-in-process and where it stands and what I’m gonna do with it next.
It’s such a strong and lovely song, though, well sung and produced, I’m happy with it in the MMMS.
Every day is so wonderful Then suddenly it’s hard to breathe Now and then I get insecure From all the pain, I’m so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say Words can’t bring me down I am beautiful in every single way Yes, words can’t bring me down… Oh no So don’t you bring me down today
To all your friends you’re delirious So consumed in all your doom Trying hard to fill the emptiness The pieces gone, left the puzzle undone Is that the way it is?
You are beautiful no matter what they say Words can’t bring you down…oh no You are beautiful in every single way Yes, words can’t bring you down, oh, no So don’t you bring me down today
No matter what we do (No matter what we do) No matter what we say (No matter what we say) We’re the song inside the tune Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go (And everywhere we go) The sun will always shine (The sun will always, always shine) And tomorrow we might wake on the other side
We are beautiful no matter what they say Yes, words won’t bring us down, no, no We are beautiful in every single way Yes, words can’t bring us down, oh, no So don’t you bring me down today
Oh, yeah, don’t you bring me down today, yeah, ooh Don’t you bring me down ooh… today
It’s a song worth listening to and thinking about. I hope you’ll listen and agree.
On to the day. Stay pos, be strong, lean forward, and remember that you’re beautiful. Coffee is at hand once again to bolster my will. Here’s the video. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 