writing – Page 100 – Michael Seidel, writer

24 pages.

I’ve had about twenty-four pages left to edit and revise in the novel in progress for about a month. Reason exists for that number: I keep re-writing and revising the first ten pages of one chapter. I’ve done so six times. After the sixth time — I’m a slow thinker — I realized that I didn’t know enough about the two characters and their relationship.

He was the main character and I’d been writing about him for months. His actions, thinking, and talking filled most of the 420 pages already revised. The other character had never shown up but was obliquely referenced. He was her son, but she wasn’t really his mother. He didn’t know that when he was young, only learning much later in life. He knew she resented him but didn’t know why. He thought he’d murdered her, but it turned out that she hadn’t been killed. Yes, it’s complicated.

After fleshing these things out more, I suddenly realized, oh, they hate each other.

It surprised me. I thought they were hostile and contemptuous toward one another but hadn’t respected the true depths of despise between them. She was secretive and using him, and he didn’t know why, but he didn’t like her and didn’t trust her. After leaving home, he’d researched his ‘mother’ and discovered little of the truth about her, except he hadn’t murdered her, that she’d framed him and she wasn’t dead at all, but had abandoned him and his sister, hiding her existence from them. All this traumatized his sister when she was a child, who responded by ostracizing her brother and becoming a cat. (I told you, it’s complicated.)

Now that I feel better about my understanding of the two, I tore out the chapter to rewrite it again. Then I’ll revise, and when I feel like I can go on, I will. Then I’ll read the novel again for more revision and see how the newest effort holds up.

That’s how it goes.

Mood: judgemental

Hello,Tuesday. I’ll drink to that.

Yes, it’s Tuesday, November 14, 2023. We’re approacing November’s midpoint. I have predictions: here in Ashlandia, where the seasons come and go and come and go, will get colder, and the snow line will descend closer to the valley floor, and the sun will be up there but cold fronts will mock its heat.

Inspired by clutching chilly fog and bored, drizzling rain, the temperature is 51 F and might squeak up to 57 F today. Sunrise was at 6:58 AM and darkness will return to the stage at 4:51 PM. Yep, becoming dark earlier as the days chase down the year’s end.

Ah, in news, I see that Truth Social has lost almost 75 million in two years. Clap your hands if you’re surprised that a Trump endeavor lost money.

Had a good laugh over the Supreme Court’s toothless Ethics Code. They use word salad like, “A Justice should avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety in all activities,” and “A Justice may engage in extrajudicial activities that are consistent with the obligations of the Judicial Office.” Such nebulous terminology tries to pretend that they’re taking this seriously — look at those serious words! — but they leave them right where they are. What is ‘impropriety’? We each have a definition for it; the way many Democrats and liberals view Justice Thomas’s activites were outside of the ethics expected of a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. He and convervatives didn’t see it like that. So, nothing resolved.

I know, I know, I should be an optimist and say, baby steps, or anything is better than nothing. But I’ve seen this series before and believe I know how it’ll end.

The writing part of me feels pressed for time and energy; the writer doesn’t want much to do with the world outside my wife and cats at the moment. Maybe that’s why The Neurons plugged Linda Ronstadt’s terrific cover of the Rolling Stones’s song, “Tumbling Dice” into the morning mental music stream (Trademark sinking). While aware and considerate of my writing aspirations and the schedule and efforts it generates, they still come to me with offers and requests. And me, being a middle child who wants to help everyone, feels guilty when I can’t accomodate them all. Plus I’m flattered that people trust me for help or advice, or requests my company.

Yeah, if that’s all I have to worry about, I’m doing good, right? And should be happy that others care for me or want my company. Well, that’d be logical, and the passion of writing spits on logic.

Carry on, positive and strong, and lean forward for one another. We can’t make it alone. (Yeah, funny that I say that after complaining that I can’t be left alone to write. SMH. It is a complex existence.) Coffee has jumped into the morning melee and I’m ready to partake. Here’s the music.

Cheers