Smarter Than Me

I was back with Philea in ‘Long Summer’, the sequel to ‘Returnee’. Her part in the novel and her situation are complicated and unique, and I struggled to write the most recent chapter featuring her. I tracked the problem back to several causes.

  1. Philea is a woman. I’m not.
  2. She resides several hundred years in the future.
  3. She’s been time-traveling.
  4. Her intelligence is higher than mine, and she’s educated. She’s the only Human (on the Earth side of the split) that has the grayware to dismiss needs for external augmented memory.

Contributing to my problem is that, complicated as the story’s part is for her, I’d not written about her and her parts recently. The situation straddled my strengths and weaknesses. Strengths: imagination and analyzing abilities. Weaknesses: inability to recall what I’ve written and over-thinking matters. The last paralyzes me.

The complications inherent in her story arc forced me to re-acquaint myself with those arcs for continuity. That took some time to do. Then, once caught up, I thought, now what happens with her? What does she do?

Fortunately, the character knew what to do. No doubt she resides in some sub-conscious cubicle in me. My strengths and weaknesses were constraining her. She couldn’t get out of the cubicle and onto the page. Meanwhile, I’m struggling to write, wondering, what’s going on?

She finally made it to the page yesterday afternoon. Boom, once she was there, she carried the scenes forward. Out of her cube, she kept going later in the day, pointing out changes needed to progress.

So, yea, rollin’ again. Once again, I’ve concluded I need to get out my way and let it happen. As the writer, I’m the least important part of this process. I hesitate to confess this realization, but I’m…just a tool.

Now it’s time to write like crazy, at least one more time.

Square One, Over and Over

Bob Mustin posted about the struggle independent writers face trying to publish, establish a presence and succeed. As it’s known with most creative enterprises, it’s more than just hard work and talent. You also need a little luck, but in a sense, you must push, put yourself out there and keep yourself out there for the luck to find you.

gridleyfires's avatarGridley Fires- The Blog

My second novel proved schizophrenic in several ways. I wanted to write something in the vein of the Tony Hillman mysteries and, in fact, in researching for it I drove many of the roads mentioned in the soon-to-be novel, which was originally named The Good Road. I signed it, via my agent, with the Canadian publisher who launched my first novel. When the Canadian firm went under and before the book could go through the editing process, I also lost my agent, whose husband had created some unpublicized malfeasance that killed the agent’s career.

So back to square one.

I shopped the manuscript around myself and eventually signed with a second agent for a six month period. She did nothing with it, and I moved on. At this point I began being interested in small indie publishers. I signed with one in Texas, and a year or so later they wrote me that they were folding; they would…

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I dreamed of a swarthy man with drooping dark eyes.

Coal black hair was parted down the middle and cinched into a pony-tail. A trim black beard underlined his lean face. He was well dressed in a clean, modern style, with collared, starched Oxford shirt open at the neck and a simple, unbuttoned vest. He also wore a Bluetooth and was using it to converse with his staff.

He and I met in a cool, softly lit room. Without further prelude, I found him asking me what I wanted. Without being aware that I’d told him, he told his staff what I wanted, and I corrected him. As this was going on, he held out a pale green dinner plate. The plate was plain. On it was a small white piece of paper folded in half.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Your choices,” he replied, then spoke to his people via the Bluetooth.

I picked up the paper and unfolded it. It was blank. I asked, “Is this a joke?”

“No. Words would limit you. Everything is your option.”

A short, white woman wearing a bright red dress entered. She glanced at me and then focused on the black-haired man. “She seeks help, too,” he said.

He began speaking to her. Turning away, I saw several white pub tables set up around the room. Gold coins and red rose petals were strewn and mounded on the tables.

“Help yourself,” the man said.

A white canvas bag was in my hand. I slide some gold and petals into the bag. He urged me to take more. I declined, adding, “I want to leave some for others.” Yet, I saw that whatever I had taken was already being replenished. Like mounds were appearing on other tables. People were entering and filling their backs.

The black-haired man shook his head. “There’s enough for others. There are no limits. It’s infinite.”

Taking my bag, I drifted out of the room and told myself, “I need to remember this.”

Someone unseen replied, “You will.”

The Scene

I reached my car yesterday after walking a few miles. As I settled in and started the vehicle, I spied a truck dart through the light traffic from the right lane to the left and then to the curb. What the hell is going on there, I wondered. It had been abrupt and erratic.

There wasn’t any traffic. I pulled my vehicle out and kept a watch on the other vehicle. The vehicle was parked illegally. I wondered if they were having car trouble. Maybe they were taking a call. Perhaps the driver and a passenger had started arguing. Maybe…well, I write fiction. I can get pretty creative with a scene with a few seconds of speculation.

A woman got out of the passenger side. Something was in her hand. She walked back the way the car had come. I watched for understanding. She went to the bus stop. I was closer and could see better.

It all clicked. A person was asleep on a bench in the bus shelter. The woman was carrying a plastic clam-shell container of food. She put it carefully on the cement beside the sleeping person and walked away.

As I passed, I remarked to myself how wonderful and thoughtful some people can be of others. Of all the things I imagined happening, what I’d witnessed wasn’t one of them.

With that, it’s time to write like crazy, at least one more time.

The Singing Muse

Sometimes my muse reminds me of the classic Looney Tunes cartoon, ‘The Singing Frog’. In that cartoon, the singing and dancing frog amazes the man who finds him while a building is being torn down. He sees riches. But when the finder attempts to show the frog’s talents to others, the frog is just a frog.

Sometimes my muse is amazing; but other times, it’s as inspiring as a croaking frog.

The Beater

Nice weather always steers me toward washing, waxing and polishing the cars when time becomes available. We only have one car wash in town. Reliable and pleasant ten years ago, it’s a wreck of a business today. Three of the five stalls don’t work. The other two have issues. It’s often a dice roll as to what’ll happen.

I tried washing the car first on Saturday afternoon. Six other drivers were pursuing the same idea so I went back Sunday. Both stalls were in use. After studying their activities to see which might end first, I chose stall one and pulled up to wait.

A woman was cleaning a Subaru in stall one. A beater, I thought, noting the tells of its narrowness, narrow, small wheels and tires, and elderly design. A beater is a car that’s usually old. Typically missing its wheel covers, as this one was, the car runs sufficiently for local errands but isn’t to be trusted going too far or too fast. It usually has mechanical idiosyncrasies, windows that no longer align, or doors that don’t open and close correctly. Sometimes they’re missing knobs and things like the cigarette lighter. Based on memories of friends’ vehicles, I reckoned her Subaru was a mid-1990s model. She was cleaning out its back with some household cleaner and a rag.

“This is against the roles,” my resident citizen huffed within. “You’re not allowed to use rags to wash the car at this facility.” My indignity climbed. “She doesn’t even have money in the machine!”

Well.

My interior philosopher roused himself. “Relax.”

“Relax?” How dare he suggest that I relax. Rules were being broken. Why, without rules –

“What tangible impact do her actions have on you? You’re going to wait a little longer, that’s all that I know. Do you have somewhere you’re rushing to be? No. Show patience and tolerance.”

Well. His reminder miffed me. Mind you, he was right, but still. It’s the thought, right? She’s breaking the rules. And being intolerant and inconsiderate, right? If she’s breaking these rules, what other rules does she break?

“As if you don’t break rules,” the philosopher said. “Distract yourself. Kill time. Play with your stereo.”

I did as he suggested. After a few minutes, I glanced up. She was spraying her car now, actually washing it.

Well.

Another car had arrived. I glanced at the other stall to see how far they’d advanced. Walls obscured my view. I didn’t know how close they were to ending. They were using the wand again, versus the brush.

Well.

I resumed fiddling with the stereo. Her car’s engine noise drew my attention. She pulled up to the end of the stall.

What the hell?

What was she doing?

She continued cleaning but obviously not with the spray.

Was she finished?

I pulled into the stall. Exiting my car, I called, “Are you done in the stall?”

“Yes. I need to do more but I ran out of quarters.”

The facility has a change machine. I always bring sufficient quarters because the change machine is often broken. I collect them for this purpose. How anal am I? “I have quarters, if you need them,” I said.

She laughed. “No, I think it needs more than quarters. It’s an old beater. My last kid has left the nest. I don’t need a beater any more, so I’m cleaning it to sell it. You know, first impressions.” She laughed again.

“I see.” She was right. The car needed more than a car wash. Wax, polish…paint…rust remover….

“I’m hoping someone else will buy it,” she said.

Well, of course it would need to be someone else, I thought with irritation.

She continued, “Somebody must need a beater.”

I nodded. “Yes. Everyone should own a beater at least once in their life.”

Washing my car, I thought of my beater. That horrible brown Oldsmobile was at the top of the list. What a mess it was but my wife and I were both working, and had needed a second car. Other beaters? None came to mind. The cars I owned in Germany, an Audi, BMW and Merc, were over twenty years old by the time I gained title to them but all were robust and well-maintained vehicles. My wife fondly remembers the BMW 2002 as one of the best cars we ever owned. The newest of the trio was the 1980 Audi 100. It was the one that failed us, throwing a rod while blazing down the Autobahn. Likewise, the Toyotas we owned in Okinawa were more than ten years old but mechanically and cosmetically fine. I didn’t consider them beaters. I trusted all of them. Of course, Okinawa was an island. We couldn’t drive far without running into ocean.

The woman finished. “Have a good day,” she called, getting into her car.

I nodded. “Good luck selling your car.”

She laughed. “Thanks.”

I watched her drive away. The car looked okay.

I hoped she sold it. Somebody probably needed a beater.

 

Today’s Theme Music

We…sometimes face moments and events that drive us to think and compare the best and the worst. It seems like a daily ritual for some. Others are able to take these thoughts and inspect them and present them as something that’s at once pain, and a salve for the pain.

That’s what I hear in this song. It’s almost a stream-of-consciousness examination of a realization that’s been growing and building until she can no longer turn away. That leaves her with facing a truth.

Truths are hard to face.

Here is Etta James with ‘I’d Rather Go Blind,’ from 1968. It’s a good, reflective song to sing as you walk and wonder about the state of yourself and the state of the world, and what has been, and what’s to come.

Sheru

We saw ‘Lion’starring Dev Patel and Mara Rooney at the theater today. Now I’m suitably grounded. Stories of refugees are heard and read daily. Less often do we hear of the orphans and poverty in places like India. All whip me for my smugness about my ‘difficulties’. Yes, we all recognize there are different types of struggles along Maslow’s hierarchy, and when we overcome the basic needs of food, shelter and security, we find new intellectual, technological and emotional complaints. My first world complaints about poor television quality available when I’m streaming, our ‘outrageous’ prices for goods and services and the lack of restaurants should be vanquished for a while.

As for the movie, I thoroughly enjoyed it. No flaws were noticed. The story is that of Saroo Brierly, who became separated from his family and lost when he was five years old in India in the late 1980s. Dev Patel plays the adult Saroo Brierly.I’ve always admired Dev Patel’s acting skills and he didn’t let me down. Sunny Pawar, the actor who played young Saroo, gave an excellent performance. It was impressive work for a first role. Nicole Kidman gave a strong performance, as did many others.

The first twenty to thirty minutes, exploring and developing what happened to Saroo and his brother, Guddu, were taut and gripping. My shoes were drenched by the film’s end, from my wife and others crying during so many emotional scenes. I, being a testosterone loaded man, didn’t cry nor sniffle. Yeah, right. Throughout, I admired Saroo and his relationship with his mother and brother and the desire to find them, cheering him on as he struggled through the effort. Adapted from the true story, the film is based on the book, ‘A Long Way Home’.  Besides the title differences, HistoryvsHollywood.com reports few factual differences from the book.

The film has been nominated for six Academy Awards. It’s as worthy a contender as ‘LaLa Land’, ‘Hidden Figures’, ‘Moonlight’, ‘Silence’, ‘Arrival’, ‘Florence Foster Jenkins’, Manchester by the Sea’, ‘Loving’, and ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’. We’ve see all of these for this awards season.

We’re going to see the Oscar nominated short documentary films this afternoon. What of you? Have you seen any Oscar nominated flicks?

Should You Write a Fancy Outline for Your Novel?

I tried outlining. I also tried story-boarding, and creating story maps using yellow post-its, and a few other ways. I found I like weaving all over the place as I write. It’s a sloppy, creative process but I enjoy it.

theryanlanz's avatarRyan Lanz

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by Jean M. Cogdell

Maybe- Maybe not.

It’s your book, you make the rules.

Different strokes for different folks. Me, I’m trying to be more organized in my writing this year. Only time will tell if I’m successful. LOL

However, I find outlining is a bit of a mystery.

Outlining an unwritten book is weird because you don’t know what will happen. It’s not the same as outlining a book read for a class assignment. No the formal process of outlining a book idea is as foreign to me as Spanish or French. I know just enough to embarrass myself.

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Never Stale

Hit the book stores as part of our springly, puddly Thursday urban hike. We were in search of my wife’s book club’s March selection (Language Arts). The rich smell of fresh books gobsmacked me after entering the Book Exchange. Pausing, I inhaled, savoring the odor. “I love the smell of new books,” I told the cashier.

A smile lit her face. “Me, too. It’s one of my favorite smells.”

I agreed. “But…what is best? New books? Roasting or brewing coffee? Baking smells? Popcorn.”

She thought a moment. “Books, I think.”

“Why?”

“The smell of books never go stale.”

Ah, sweet.

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