Category: Uncategorized

Beat Up, Shut Up

I traveled one of those mornings where I felt like I was walking the valley of the despised. Well known self-descriptions about being inadequate and passive, smart enough to know I’m not too smart, talented enough to appreciate that I lack real talent, bright enough to recognize I’m really not that bright, rushed through me with the power of a swollen spring river. Following that period, some self-flagellation was indulged: it’s all a show of mute head-noddings and quick smiles to show I’m in on it, too, when it all flashes past with a hurrying hummingbird’s speed.

That done, I shower and engage in a transformation. Looking in the mirror, I see no changes, but I feel them inside. I know what I went through, just a ninety minute tour of the personal hell I sometimes send myself to (tell me, do you have one, too?), but emerged, almost alright, close enough to that mark to get it done, at least. Then I scrambled to go on with anything and everything, just to ensure I was going on.

Time to write like fucking crazy, at least one more time.

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There I Go

Got my special space

at the special place

checking out the people

thinking what a waste

but for God and grace

there I go

 

Been lucky again

just like I always been

living life like it’s a mortal sin

I’ve always had an in

because of love and kin

and here I am

 

here I am

on the top

of the bottom

there I go

thinking I have problems

here I am

working the middle

there I go

again and again

 

you say

he’s such a waste

no style or grace

what’s the matter with him?

but that’s not the truth

you don’t know what he’s been through

thinking that he’s just like you

 

there you are

on the top

of the bottom

there you go

thinking you have no problems

here you are

working the middle

there you go

again and again

 

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Sneeze

Don’t you hate it when you suddenly sneeze and it ends up all over your computer screen? I could really use tear-aways protective covers on my screen like racing drivers use on their windshields (NASCAR) and visors (Formula 1).

2

Late at Night

You ever put something on Facebook or other social media late at night, and have a friend immediately respond to it? Then you think, what are they doing on the Internet so late at night? As a sidebar, do you also sometimes wish you and that person were actually sitting beside each other so you can have an actual conversation?

There are some who remain your friends regardless of how long it was since you last saw them, and the distance between your homes. Good to know such people are out there.

Want to introduce me to a few?

 

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New Gmail A’comin’

It’s been a while. Are you ready for a rant?

Then you’ve come to the right place.

A new version of Gmail is coming. That has some factions of the net wet with excitement. “Have you noticed some new features in your Gmail?” Their words glow, as if this is really exciting.

I yawn. I spit. I curse.

Google has demonstrated a pattern of leaping out with new things that cause people to go, “Oh! Look what Google has done!” Meanwhile, old products and concepts that they brought out that caused people to go, “Oh! Look what Google has done!”, languish.

The Google publishing effort was one of those things for me. Google apparently desired to be like Amazon and publish! I investigated publishing on there to discover it was already gone.

Google Plus is another wanna be like some other company. In this case, it’s Facebook. I follow people and they follow me, but it’s like we’re walking in a circle in a living room.

Introductory rant over, I encounter issues on Gmail. Slow loading is one aggravation. Another is that the deleted emails return like the ghosts of this morning’s mail. Aggravating, yes. I already read this, did that, went there, deleted this, WTF, Google?

Getting help has proven impossible. Searches and scans deliver no tangible results. Most answers assume I’m on a Droid or smart phone and that it has to do with the mail settings. Fucking not applicable, okay? Other responses found on Google take me to Hotmail and Outlook issues. Everything else suggested has been tested. The problem still exists. Damn exasperating, it is.

So, excited about the new and improved Gmail? Fuck no. Still waiting for them to fix the previous edition.

Rant over. Back to the coffee.

2

The Photograph

You ever see a photograph of yourself and scream in horror? “Oh my God, is that really how I look?”

In this case, the photo was on a website supporting a charity where I was a volunteer drone. It’s on the page where you order the tickets for this year’s event. I can imagine people seeing my photo and asking, “Alfred Hitchcock was there? I thought he was dead.”

Funny, but I never see myself like that in the mirror. Beauty is in the beholder’s eye, innit?

2

Shithead

Have you ever looked back on something that happened and think, “Man, was I a shithead”? Best thing about knowing you were a shithead is that you can fight against letting the inner shithead come out. You know, apply lessons learned, and not be a shithead.

2

Cathold

Cathold (catfinitions) – 

1. Place where cats reside and rule, sometimes also referred to as a house, or household, particularly by people in denial.

2. A cat’s grip on something, usually by way of claws, but sometimes with both claws and teeth.

In use: “The cathold revolved around the queen’s routines and protocols. The little tabby, Lily, enjoyed preferential treatment by humans and the tom’s, which meant that a four A.M. feeding was normal, and she ate first.”

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