You ever think, I’m in a rut, so I’m going to do something against type to challenge myself, only to discover, yeah, I’m in a rut, and I like it there.
No, no, no, not me. Never.
Right.
A Superpower Dream
I dreamed I had superpowers. The background of how I acquired them wasn’t explained.
The dream begins with me in the ocean on a clear, sunny day. The ocean is calm. Without knowing how, I’m on the ocean’s surface, but dry, and discover, hey, I have powers. Exploring that a little more, I discover that I can transform things.
Shouting reaches me. There’s been a disaster. People need help. With some listening and investigating, I learn that refugees at sea are on a sinking ship. They’re going to drown.
I tell everyone, don’t worry. I can transform things. Nobody understands what I’m talking about. It’s not important that they understand. I know what I can do, and I do it. Like friggin’ magic, because I don’t know what I transformed, the refugees are saved.
Everyone is astonished. “How did you do that?” people are asking. I tell them, “I told you that I can transform things.” Understanding begins to dawn in some.
Arriving somewhere else, where it’s dark and sinister, I met with other people and explain my power. A woman accosts me. I know who she is in the dream; basically, she’s evil incarnate. She’s there to trick me into helping her so that she can destroy me. Yes, I know this.
“I know who you are,” I said. “And I’m not playing games.” She’s sitting on a wall with her legs crossed. A shiny red mask covers her face. “I’m going to destroy you,” I said.
She chuckled with doubt. I transformed her into something that I can break but the transform doesn’t hold. She’s too strong. But I know that I can keep transforming her, but I must be fast, to keep her off-balance. So I continue transforming her until she’s a fly.
She flies off. I can’t track her but someone else tells me, “I saw her land and squashed her.” He points to a fly smashed on a wall. I look at the spot and see pieces of a red mask. Accepting it’s her, I clean her body off the wall with a paper towel and throw her away.
Back somewhere else, I’m trying to explain to people how I transform things, and do demonstrations. During these, I begin learning that the more complicated something is, the more difficult the challenge of transforming it, and that it won’t stay transformed long. That’s especially true with mechanical and electronic devices, and less so with organics. It’s a lesson in limitations that I need to remember.
That’s where the dream ends.
What a fun dream, to transform things and help others.
The House Band
My cats have started a musical band. They called themselves T.C. and the Backyard Boys.
T.C. is Tucker Cat. Black and white, he plays lead guitar and shares lead vocals with Quinn the black paws. Quinn is the brooding genius who writes their material. Their favorite songs are “Catch the Mouse”, “Watch the Birds”, “What’s that Noise”, and “You Want to Fight”.
Quinn plays the rhythm guitar, too, while Boo is on drums and Papi is the orange cat on the keyboards who also plays bass. Papi and Boo provide backing vocals, too.
Boo – no photo available.
Playing only at night, they call their music floof rock. It sounds like caterwauling to me.
My Amended Dirty List
I saw that Pitch Black was available on HBO last night. I was like, I gotta watch it! And did.
Thinking about that, I decided to add it to my dirty list, along with others that mentioned in comments.
Here we go, round two.
Original list:
Unforgiven (1992) – “It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have.”
Fail Safe (1964) – “You learned too well, Professor. You learned so well that now there’s no difference between you and what you want to kill.”
This Is Spinal Tap (1984) – “I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything.”
A Christmas Story (1983) – “Oh, fudge. Except I didn’t say fudge.”
The Great Escape (1963) – “Cooler.”
Tropic Thunder (2008) – “I know who I am. I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude!”
Being There (1979) – “It’s for sure a white man’s world in America. Look here: I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I’ll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th’ ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you’ve gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. Gobbledy-gook!”
No Country for Old Men (1997) – “What you got ain’t nothin’ new. This country’s hard on people. You can’t stop what’s coming. It ain’t all waiting on you. That’s vanity.”
On The Beach (1959) – “The trouble with you is you want a simple answer. There isn’t any. The war started when people accepted the idiotic principle that peace could be maintained – – by arranging to defend themselves with weapons they couldn’t possibly use – – without committing suicide. Everybody had an atomic bomb, and counter-bombs, and counter-counter bombs. The devices outgrew us; we couldn’t control them.”
Fifty First Dates (2004) – “Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts.”
Bladerunner (1982) – “Time…to die.”
Bridge Over the River Kwai (1957) – “Are they both mad? Or am I going mad? Or is it the sun?”
Love Actually (2003) – “A tiny, insignificant detail.”
Men In Black (1997) – “No, ma’am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we’re aware of. May we come in?”
The Dirty Dozen (1967) – “I reckon the folks’d be a sight happier if I died like a soldier. Can’t say I would.”
Doctor Strangelove (1964) – “Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader’s mule, the radio is gone and we’re leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we’d need sleigh bells on this thing… but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain’t gonna spot us on no radar screen!”
Added:
Pitch Black (2000) – There are a lot of goofs in it, which is part of the fun. “They kept calling it ‘murder’ when I did it.”
Silverado (1985) – “The world is what you make of it, friend. If it doesn’t fit, you make alterations.”
Kelly’s Heroes (1970) – “Definitely an antisocial type. Woof, woof, woof! That’s my other dog imitation.”
Secondhand Lions (2003) – “WE’RE OLD, DAMN IT! LEAVE US ALONE!”
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) – “You never had a rope around your neck. Well, I’m going to tell you something. When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the Devil bite your ass.”
Hang them High (1968) – “Some people call this hell, but you’re still in Oklahoma.”
A Few Dollars More (1965) – “I was worried about you – all alone, with so many problems to solve…”
High Plains Drifter (1973) – “What makes you think I care?”
What of you? Andy dirty secrets about the movies you watch again and again?
The Last Straw Rant
Plastic straws are the latest convenience to come under attack. Honestly, I won’t miss them.
I grow up under the impression that straws were for children to drink milkshakes. That was later amended to include smoothies and fraps. But straws for ice tea, lemonade, and water in a restaurant? No.
I witnessed that whole evolution and shift. I remember being in a California restaurant and being asked if I wanted a straw for my ice tea. What? No. I then remember dining with another person in California, and she specifically asked for a straw for her water, and another for her ice tea.
That was the mid-nineties, and I thought it strange. I became horrified and startled by how frequently people asked for straws if straws weren’t given to them. I often asked people in the early years why they wanted a straw. Many didn’t want to put their lips on the glass. Others didn’t like the ice bumping up against their face, nose, or lips. More said that they thought it neater, or more refined.
I guess that’s why I never took straws up; I’m neither neat nor refined. I rarely drink milkshakes, fraps, or smoothies these days. I guess I’ll acquire a metal straw for the times that I do.
It might be my last straw.
The Try Again Dream
The dream’s setting was a chaotic quilt of thunder and lightning, and wind and rain as screaming and shouting people rushed around me. Through it all, I didn’t know where I was or what was going on. Sometimes I’d recognize someone and try to ask them, “What’s going on?”
Nobody would stop to tell me. I started trying to figure it out by myself, but I couldn’t find any clues. With a little walking on a narrow trail, I found myself in a forest. The wind was bending the trunks over, and the branches thrashed like grappling wrestlers. Sometimes the wind was so strong that all I could do was find a branch and hold on as the wind hammered me. Lightning seemed to be striking some trees, too. I decided that I needed to get out of there. Although branches slammed into my head and back several times, I bent my head and kept going.
I realized that I was going up. It was hard, because it was wet and slick, but I felt like that was the best direction to take. I often had to grab hold of branches and use them to pull me forward. During the final part, I ended up crawling forward on my hands and knees. After some exhaustive struggling, I cleared the trees.
Spent and breathing hard, I looked around. I was high on top of a granite mountain. It was bare. There was nothing to hold onto. I was afraid that the wind would sweep me away, but I was determined to stay there and learn what was going on. Other than the wind, I realized I was now mostly above the storm. With a little straining to see through the storm, I got glimpses of waves crashing far below in one direction. Almost everyone was heading that way.
Not thinking it was safe because it was so steep, I didn’t want to go that way, and did a full circle in place on the mountain top, hunting for somewhere else to go. I found a calm area in another direction where sunshine was spread over a green slope. I thought, that’s where I want to be, but it wouldn’t be easy to get there. Mountains, storms, and forests were in the way.
As I debated what to do, I looked back toward the beach where the others had gone. Something prompted me to look that way, but I can’t say what it was. What I saw, though, was a rising tsunami wave rushing toward the shore. Appearing like something copied from a disaster movie, I could see people thronging on the beach. I realized that they were all in danger, but I had no way to warn them. I tried shouting because it was the only thing that I could think of doing.
Then I realized, I could fly down. All I needed to do was throw myself into the air, and I could fly down to the beach and warn everyone. Looking at the approaching wave’s speed, I thought I could get down there with enough time to at least give people a chance. Yet, I hesitated because I would need to fly through the storm, and that was dangerous. I wanted to take myself out of danger.
With growing understanding that I could fly wherever I wanted or needed to go, I looked at the calm, sunny green space. Going there appealed to me. I could fly to it, but that would mean abandoning the people on the beach, and as much as I hated it, I couldn’t do that.
Searching the mountain top, I found a cliff where I thought it would be best to launch myself. A howling wind pushed me around. Heart hammering in my chest, I tried diving off. The wind threw me back onto the ground, driving me backward like a candy bar wrapper. Scrabbling to hold on, I dug my fingers into the ground and held on until I stopped.
Deciding the cliff might not be the best place, I checked other places to launch, but it seemed like my first choice was best. Accepting that, I planted myself about twenty feet back from the cliff’s edge and waited. When I felt like the wind’s strength had dropped, I ran forward and dove off the cliff.
The wind slammed into me like it had been waiting to ambush me, and pitched me against the granite mountainside. I managed to catch myself before the impact and lessened it some, but it still hurt like hell. That was a bad idea, I thought, and then, surveying where I was, realized that my position was precarious. I couldn’t climb down. I had to either climb back up, or try to fly from there.
Aware that I was high and it was a long way down to the forested mountainside, I thought it would be best to climb back up to where I’d been. But now rain lashed me. Swearing at myself for my stupidity, I grew hopeless. Nothing I could think of was going to work. I’d blown my one chance, but I hadn’t known that it was my one chance.
With all that going through my head, I saw myself in my mind. The me in my mind said, “Don’t worry. Try again.”
He sounded so confident, but it seemed so crazy that I scoffed at him, demanding, “How?”
He – me – answered, “Try again.”
His response didn’t inspire me, but I decided what the fuck. After positioning myself among the crags and rocks the best that I could, I threw myself off the mountain. Within a moment, I knew I wasn’t flying, and flailed at the air in fear and panic.
Then the wind calmed. It almost felt like a hand lifting me up. After a few moments of surprised thinking, I realized that I was flying.
Growing calmer and feeling more in control, I changed my body’s pitch so that I could climb higher, see where I was, and find the people on the beach.
That’s when I awoke to a cat’s whiskers against my cheek.
Floofpression
Floofpression (catfinition) – the look on a cat’s face.
In use: “Catologists agree that a cat’s floofpression can reveal it’s mood and intentions, whether it’s love, contentment, curiosity, or getting ready to attack.”
June
Almost halfway through this year that we’ve deemed 2018. My writing discipline remains strong. I hope yours does as well.
The day was cold yesterday, and the trees were whispering, “Winter is coming.” Damn, man, I thought, hope these trees are wrong. By all weather logic that’s been established, the trees should be wrong, but you know how the weather can go these days. Walking in my shorts — for I dressed as an optimist — the breezes darting up my legs to my nether regions made me shiver.
Today, though, the trees are whispering, “Summer is coming.” Smelling grass that reminds me of fresh cut watermelon, I feel relieved by the warm breeze and sunshine that kisses me. Today, I’m looking forward to summer while hoping it doesn’t grow into the smokey, hot oppression of the last several years.
Today, I’m hopeful.
Wednesday’s Bumper Sticker
Pithy, but I can’t argue against the point.
On This Day
I was looking at a “On this day in history” timeline. Joan of Arc executed. Andrew Jackson’s duel. First Indy 500. Babe Ruth’s last baseball game.
Seems like May 30th is a good day to make history. Carpe diem.
Michael Seidel, writer 